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Sibling Loss: Honoring, Not Forgetting

Posted on June 6, 2012 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

In the United States today, there is a natural, assumed order to the deaths we will experience in our lives. We believe that our grandparents will die first, then our parents, then our brothers and sisters, and then our children. However, that is not how it happens for thousands of people each year, and that is not how it happened for me. When my brother Scott and cousin Matthew, were just 17 yrs. old they died together in a fiery car accident. In a sense our siblings are parallel travelers in life, we have a shared history. We expect this […]

Three Steps in Recovering from Major Loss

Posted on June 5, 2012 - by Kimberly Kirby-Bass

”The bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you refuse to take the turn” – Unknown Bad things will happen in life: Often, we have no control over the things that happen in life. You talked to your mother yesterday and today, she’s gone. After a long illness, you lost your husband. You thought that you were prepared; but, the sense of loss is greater than you ever imagined. Often these events are so painful that we don’t know how we are going to go on. Well, what is in our control is how we respond […]

Reconstructing Memories After the Loss of a Loved One

Posted on June 4, 2012 - by Kim Go

Did you know that your memories are not like a hard drive in your mind? Memories go through a process of reconstruction every time we conjure them. When we remember something our nerve paths fire as if a fresh experience is occurring. And, memories can be amended, even added to! New information can come forward that might have been in the receding areas of your awareness. Many grieving people worry over forgetting their loved ones. Take this concern and actively work with it. I thought I might share a couple unusual ideas (aside from just looking at photos or reading […]

I’m Not a Couple Anymore

Posted on June 4, 2012 - by Melinda Richarz Lyons

On my journey through grief, I ran into so many unexpected things. It is overwhelming enough to deal with the sadness you expect after the loss of a loved one, but I think it is even harder to deal with the many unexpected aspects of grief. One of the things that took me by surprise after the death of my husband was the loss of my couple friends. Perhaps loss is not the right word—they were still there. But as time went on, they started to drift away. That was so painful for me, but yet, as my grief counselor […]

What is Grief and Mourning?

Posted on June 3, 2012 - by Diana Doyle

Shock Denial Sadness Numbness Disbelief Sick Longing Guilt Anger Exhaustion A piece of your heart forever missing. Grief and mourning have many different dimensions and emotions. And when your life collides with grief, and you’re knocked down by the sudden death of a loved one, the degree and power of grief is vast and all consuming. Grief seeps into every pore. Like a giant, it overshadows everything you do, everything you say, everything you feel. And, for a time, the ‘stop’ button gets pushed on your life and there’s no way to hit rewind….erase….fast forward! Yes, grief consumes your world […]

Adult Siblings’ Grief May be Overlooked

Posted on June 2, 2012 - by Brenda Marshall

Yes, it is dreadful for our parents when our sibling, their child, dies. Horrific actually, made even more so because we know. We see it in their faces and feel it in their words. We know because we may be parents ourselves and the thought of losing one of our children is unfathomable. It’s also awful for our sibling’s spouse and their children. We see and feel it in their faces and wonder how they will survive. And, it is dreadful for us too. We’ve lost our mirror, our confidante, in some cases our anchor and the person we expected to […]

Responding to Multiple Losses: ‘Power in the Broken Heart’

Posted on June 1, 2012 - by Terry Jones-Brady

The bare bones story of my life is this: I lost two daughters to a vile and nasty genetic disease called Cystic Fibrosis. My older daughter, Heather, was twelve when she died undergoing a bronchial lavage that was meant to prolong her life. My younger daughter, Holly, died twelve days following an unsuccessful bilateral lung transplant that we thought would give her new life. During those twelve long days, Holly was comatose. She was twenty-two when the medical team decided to unplug the equipment that were keeping her vital functions going. Five years later, my husband, the girls’ father, put […]

Thank You to Compassionate Friends

Posted on June 1, 2012 - by Patrick T. Malone

This May 29th marked the 17th anniversary of Lance’s death. It’s even longer for Scott and Erin. As I look back, I realize that the passage of time has helped but without the help and assistance of my Compassionate Friends, I fear I would be mired in despair and desperation some place along the road that we all are traveling. So, as I reach this milepost I would like to thank those who helped along the way. Seventeen years ago, another bereaved parent volunteered to read the obituaries, saw Lance’s story and sent us a packet of information on the […]

Robert Thompson; Where Does Sadness end and Depression Begin

Posted on June 1, 2012 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Dr Thompson talks about depression and sadness after a loss.

When Our Closest Loved One Has Died

Posted on June 1, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

She laughed at my jokes. She never forgot my birthday. Once a week, she made liver for me, even though she hated it. She made it anyway for me. She tied my ties. She told me she loved me. She never minded my cold feet. She made me laugh. She visited my mother. She listened to me. She was the one who always got the family together. She always asked me how I was. She asked me how my day had been. She forgave me for not being perfect. She was always there. Our bed was never empty when she […]