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Alcohol is a Trap for Grievers

Posted on July 13, 2012 - by Lauren Muscarella

Books about grief are not my favorite. I don’t find comfort in reading the details of someone else’s depression or hard time when I’m in the same, dark place. More conventional grief books tend to either lecture that their way is the one and only way to cope or guide us through a dreary depression without the triumphantly hopeful ending we all envision for ourselves. The only exception seems to be if that hard time is loosely related and recounted with the intent to entertain and inform. With that in mind, every week this month I will present an unconventional […]

Finding Space After Spouse Loss

Posted on July 13, 2012 - by Jennifer Hawkins

When my husband passed away unexpectedly in his sleep one night in February of 2009, my life was turned up-side-down in an instant. Chaos ensued for the next few weeks like never before. When I came out of the fog and looked around, it felt like I was so alone. I was a widow at 39 years old. I didn’t know anyone who was a widow at my age. It was mind-numbing looking toward the future without my husband. Over the next few months, and now years, I rebuilt a life with my two young children that fit us. We […]

The Bootsy Chronicles: More End-of Life Lessons From My Feline Companion

Posted on July 13, 2012 - by David Roberts

A Brief Recap On February 23, 2012, my article titled Daughter’s Cats Help Dad Keep Connection was published on this site. In it, I focused on the recent health challenges that my daughter Jeannine’s cat, Bootsy, had been experiencing. Specifically, he had lost weight and was looking pretty lethargic. Bootsy, who is 14, was a Christmas Eve gift to Jeannine from her best friend. After Jeannine died at the age of 18 in 2003, Bootsy became attached to me. I became attached to him as well as Jeannine’s other cat, Angel, who is about a year younger than Bootsy. I […]

Anger is Natural Emotion in Grief

Posted on July 5, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

Lately I am angry More often than not Not out in the open In your face angry But silent subtle Under currents Of unnamed rage Assaulting me for Being held hostage By my silence. Most of us, if we are honest, will admit to having been angry. Some of us may be angry right now. While each of us may describe it differently, anger is one of those emotions, we, as feeling human beings, experience. Based upon our culture, upbringing, gender, religious beliefs, and a multitude of other factors, some of us are more comfortable with being angry or being […]

Memories of a Son’s Birthday Cards to Mom

Posted on July 5, 2012 - by Carol Loehr

It is almost my birthday and with all the birthday cards, why am I so sad? My husband always makes me feel as if my birthday is a big celebration and I have two amazing daughters who try to make this day very special for me. Cindy always makes her own cards and Carrie always finds the perfect card, meant just for me. But something is missing, a card from my son, Keith. Our son Keith died in 1999. I remember one card from Keith. Keith was in his senior year at UCLA and was recovering from a fall, from […]

Losing a Friend, Finding Her Son Years Later

Posted on July 5, 2012 - by Janet Gallin

Carol and I slipped thoroughly and whole-heartedly into each other’s lives when we were 12 and she transferred to into my Junior High School. She was funny, emotionally brave, self-governing, welcoming, gorgeous, incapable of self-absorption and enthusiastic about life. She was one of my 5 best friends. Ever. We traveled through our adolescent lives together and there was no question that “forever” was ours. There was not a joy or woe she did not share with me, and her plentiful sorrows were delivered as information only and never complaint. She knew she was entitled to more than she had in […]

First Birthdays in Widowhood

Posted on July 5, 2012 - by Cindy Adams

My 35th birthday came a month into widowhood. One of my best friends took me out to dinner that evening. You really know who your closest friends are when it comes to celebrating birthdays and holidays in the first year. After all, how do you make it a celebration? Why would I want to celebrate my birthday on the first year of being a widow? Well, thank God for shock in the grief process. At least I was still numb when my birthday hit. Now fast forward seven months and Nelson’s 35th birthday was upon us. The shock of my […]

Does Staying Busy Get You Through Grief or Lead to Avoidance?

Posted on June 29, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

Several days after my daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash, I received call from a friend. She told me her son had died in a car crash when he was 17 years old, something I didn’t know. Her call and advice to “stay busy” touched my heart. Since I had experienced loss before, I understood the advice, but it makes grief counselors cringe. Becoming too busy can turn into grief avoidance. When my friend called I had no inkling that two more family members would die. I didn’t know I would find a way to […]

The Bereavement Process for Twinless Twins

Posted on June 29, 2012 - by Mary R. Morgan

When we lose a twin, it feels for many of us like the literal end of our lives. That is true, in that it is the end of life as we have known it since the moment of our conception. As one twin explained to me: “The day my twin died, the lights went out.” Another twin said to me, “After Daphne died, it was as if I couldn’t breathe. I’d never in my life thought about breathing. I just took it for granted that Daphne and my breath were part of being alive.” When our twin dies, we must […]

Choosing to Say Goodbye

Posted on June 29, 2012 - by Anne Hamilton

There’s a time when you have to say goodbye, and a time when you choose to say goodbye. For the first time, I chose to say goodbye to my friend Curtis today. I had to say goodbye when he was ripped away from me in a car accident thirty years ago. And all this time I’ve been resenting that accident. But recently the song, “Freebird”* by Lynryd Skynyrd has kept echoing in my head. If I heard it on the radio, I would listen for its entirety. I would pull off the road to listen to it. I couldn’t get […]