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Grieving My Broken Hand

Posted on February 16, 2012 - by Linda Wisniewski

When a loss is “only” temporary, we don’t always allow time to grieve. We “slap ourselves upside the head, ” tell ourselves to “suck it up,” and remind ourselves how many worse situations other people are going through. But how bad does the loss have to be to deserve a timeout for some personal attention? Exactly one week before Christmas, in a moment of joy, I fell and broke my left, dominant hand. My son was home from college and watching football with my husband in our new “sunken” family room while I made what I thought would be a […]

Grief, Healing and Time

Posted on February 15, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

Today, someone I loved died. I can’t believe it. I don’t believe it. I won’t believe it. Family comes, Friends come. The phone keeps ringing. The doorbell rings again and again. The ringing seems far away. I hear it, but I seem unable to answer. My legs won’t move. My feet won’t move. I am glued to the chair. Others answer for me. They seem to know – I don’t remember how. Tomorrow comes. I didn’t want it to ever come. I wanted to go back to the time before you died. There, I said it. You died. Does that […]

Remembering Whitney Houston

Posted on February 12, 2012 - by Tom Zuba

And I will always love you. I will always love you. My first introduction to the song was in 1974, way before SHE recorded it for “The Bodyguard.” I am a longtime fan of Dolly Parton’s. I’ve loved that song for a long time! News of her death crept up on me this morning. An article in my morning paper, but no screaming headline telling me she had died. The story unfolded. Stunned, I googled the YouTube video of the Biggest Song of so many of her big, big songs. I can’t help but wonder … if we put aside […]

A Valentine Wish for Bereaved Parents

Posted on February 12, 2012 - by Sandy Fox

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone! I’ve listed for you some things you can do on this special day in memory of your child. Children always loved this holiday for its sweet cards, candy, stuffed animals and going out to eat. And I’m sure you will miss those moments when your child surprised you with that perfect gift. So this year enjoy yourself by sharing this holiday with loved ones who are with you and honor those only in your memory. A small gift for everyone You can make the day really special for all those who work for you but […]

‘Iron Lady’ Touches Aging Widows’ Hearts

Posted on February 11, 2012 - by Sandra Pesmen

I just returned from seeing Meryl Streep’s remarkable performance as Margaret Thatcher in “Iron Lady,” for which she surely should win an Oscar. But she also should win that Oscar for touching aging widows’ hearts. Like Margaret, many of us went through our husband’s shoes, clothes, and treasures — along with old family photos — and could not bear to take that final step and get rid of them. They were the constant reminders of a beautiful life lived well that is no more. But this powerful film and Streep’s performance in it are not for the faint hearted. In […]

If Only

Posted on February 10, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

If only…… If only….. If only……. If only……… If only…….. Most everyone has their share in life of “if only’s.” If only I were better looking, more popular, made more money, lived in a better neighborhood, were more organized, creative, articulate, athletic, had grandchildren, had more faith, had my sister’s curly hair and long eyelashes. So many “if only’s”and” what then’s.” When our loved one dies suddenly we have a whole new list of “if only’s”. On top of everything else, our aching heart, our desperate longing to have our loved one back, our sleepless nights, our lost sense of […]

A Psychologist’s Suicide

Posted on February 9, 2012 - by Adele R. McDowell

The word came last week that a friend and colleague, a clinical psychologist, had committed suicide. She had suffered a hammering of profound losses and fell into a deep hole of depression. She had placed herself in good professional hands, was hospitalized for two weeks, and released with medications and a discharge summary that she, herself, could have written. She later took her life by overdose. And if you are a clinical type, then you might be interested in knowing that she – and we will call her Susan for our descriptive purposes here — had been hospitalized once before […]

The First Clear Day Without Rain, Ten Years On

Posted on February 8, 2012 - by Diana Doyle

5,256,000! Over 5 million! That’s the number of minutes since my sister died…the minutes and moments she has missed out on in these past years. That’s a lot of time….ten years worth to be exact. Ten years ago, my only sister Tarnia was killed in a car accident. It was the first clear day without rain, the last few days of the school holidays in Australia. My sister had decided since it had stopped raining, she’d take her kids to the beach. That day, my sister’s destiny was decided. I often wonder if it had of kept raining if she’d […]

Winter Grief

Posted on February 7, 2012 - by Paul Bennett

“When we scattered the ashes, the land was bare and brown and dry and cold. And we ourselves felt bare and cold. We were feeling the death in us, Rebecca and I, and hoping for spring to come, hoping for spring in us, hoping for something to be reborn.” – Loving Grief Does your grief have a different color in winter? Does winter seem more in tune with your grief than spring does? Winter landscapes here in the middle Atlantic states are rarely white. They’re mostly just bare, dominated by grays and browns. Cold rain is more common than snow. […]

Maintaining a Healthy, Healing Relationship after Death

Posted on February 5, 2012 - by Larry Barber

Ken sat on the couch across from me, smiled and exclaimed, “I stopped it! The uncontrollable crying. I stopped it!” Just the week prior, I had been at a loss as the 59-year-old self-avowed “Momma’s boy” cried with an overpowering despair. He had been completely inconsolable over the death of his 82-year-old mother. As a fledgling bereavement counselor, I had walked away from his initial session wondering if I could ever be able to help Ken. His inability to see any reason for joy and hope had silenced me for almost the entire hour For all of Ken’s life prior […]