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October Brings New Beauty, Triggers Old Grief

Posted on October 19, 2011 - by Christine Thiele

October begins again and I can feel my descent into the memories. It started about a week ago when the weather began to change a bit. The cooler breezes starting blowing, the sky is a more brilliant blue and the heat is beginning to subside. For me, all of these changes trigger my grief. It was a beautiful October Wednesday in 2004 when my journey with grief was set into motion. I had been to the ob/gyn and was told that we could induce the birth of second son that Friday. My husband had a nice lunch planned with friends […]

Yearning for Certainty in an Uncertain World

Posted on October 18, 2011 - by James P. Krehbiel

A woman was walking down the hallway past my counseling office after she had seen Linda, the massage therapist. My office door was open so I heard the lady remark, “Everything happens for a reason, my friend.” The certainty built into her response was comforting to me. However, I began wondering if her statement was really accurate. Sometimes traumatic things happen because of our own laziness and stupidity. Case in point is Plaxico Burress, wide-receiver for the New York Giants, who carried an illegally purchased loaded weapon in his pocket into a New York City night club. The gun fell […]

Online Grief Site is Safe Space for the Bereaved

Posted on October 17, 2011 - by Sandy Lipkus

How can a person begin to survive the emotional roller-coaster ride one experiences after the death of a loved one? A father who outlives his child; a wife who tries to make sense of her husband’s suicide; a daughter who watches her mother suffer as cancer robs her of her dignity; a teenager in shock after a dear friend is the victim of a senseless shooting. These are just some of the stories that have been submitted to ShareGrief.com, a website offering on-line grief support, insights, and resources to people from all over the world who have had the misfortune […]

Bout with Cancer Shows Woman What She Will Need When She’s Old

Posted on October 17, 2011 - by Susan Troccolo

In the summer that I was treated for thyroid cancer, I learned what it meant to be literally exhausted, to have no energy. I was a young woman then, so it seemed pretty simple: Normally, if I was tired, I’d rest, sleep in late over the weekend and be back to normal. But not now, not this time. During those months of treatment, my body would often scan for some higher octane, some metabolic starter fluid, but there was none. My body wasn’t making any thyroid hormone after the Thyroidectomy, and I wasn’t allowed to replace it chemically yet. For […]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: An Image for My Life after Loss

Posted on October 16, 2011 - by Robin Moore

When my husband died, I had no idea how I’d recover. After two years of nursing his terminal illness, our household was drained and I was just plain exhausted. As the breadwinner, I had worked full time through his illness; as the mother of a small child, I was desperately needed at home. Perhaps it looked to the world like I could make it. Kevin had told me, over and over, “you’re stronger than you think.” Grief was overwhelming, but I knew that would run its course in time. My therapist assured me I had all the right tools in […]

Grieving for the Sister She Never Knew

Posted on October 15, 2011 - by Amy Daly

Savannah, our third child, was welcomed into this world in May of ’99. I like to think she was specially chosen for our family by her older sister, Alexandria. Alexandria was too ill to stay with us. She died early in ’98, seven days after her birth, from a chromosome abnormality. She spent her brief life in the neonatal intensive care unit. Savannah was the daughter who got to stay with our family on Earth; our precious rainbow baby following the storms of loss and the sunshine of grace. Bryce (our firstborn) and Savannah have grown up knowing they have […]

Self-Forgiveness is a Key to Healing

Posted on October 14, 2011 - by Deb Kosmer

Guilt is one of those emotions people don’t talk much about, maybe because shame is so often a part of it. Yet when someone we love dies, most of us feel guilty about something or perhaps many things. “If only I had….” “Why didn’t I?” “I should have insisted.” “It should have been me.” All of are all expressions of guilt. Guilt is sometimes justified but oftentimes it is not logical but we feel it just the same and it feels very real. Horace Bushnell says, “Guilt is the very nerve of sorrow.” Sometimes when we feel guilty, we punish ourselves. […]

Dragonflies Help Dad Feel Close to Deceased Son

Posted on October 13, 2011 - by Kelly Farley

It must have been a couple of weeks after the death of my son Noah when I first noticed the dragonflies. It was mid-June 2006 and I had already been off work for several weeks. I had called my office to let them know that I wasn’t going to be in for awhile. At the time I didn’t know what “awhile” meant and thankfully they didn’t ask. I spent most of my days doing small tasks around the house, just to keep my mind occupied. The rest of the time I hung out with my wife, worked out and made […]

20 Questions to Ask Your Terminally Ill Loved One

Posted on October 12, 2011 - by Barbara Rubel

What is Palliative Care and Hospice? If you have been told that your loved one is terminally ill, this article will help you identify palliative care, hospice, advanced care planning, Five Wishes, and questions to ask during this difficult time. Let’s first look at palliative care,which helps individuals improve their quality of life by providing prevention and relief of suffering, early identification, holistic assessment and treatment of pain, and support for physical, psychosocial, spiritual and bereavement issues (WHO, 2008). Hospice, on the other hand, offers care when curative medical treatments no longer enhance quality of life. Although Hospice is most […]

‘It’s Our Responsibility to Find Hope Again’

Posted on October 11, 2011 - by Vicky Bates

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad. — C.S.Lewis We put so much emphasis on our loss, and rightly so in the beginning. It is natural. The emptiness and pain that comes with the death of a loved one will remain our focal point as long as we let it. Don’t let your heartache […]