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Platitudes: Uncomfortable for Everyone

Posted on November 3, 2011 - by Chris Mulligan

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while so that we can see life with a clearer view again. Tom Bodett When we’re grieving, we all platitudes. You know these: “She’s in a better place.” “God never gives us more than we can handle.” “It must have been his time.” “Be grateful you had him for nineteen years.” “You’ll be seeing him soon enough.” “Its God’s will.” Considering the other person’s point of view, the reasons for using these platitudes are many: · The majority of us do not know what to say that […]

Helping Children Cope with Grief during the Holiday Season

Posted on November 2, 2011 - by Suzy Yehl Marta

Holidays are normally a time of joy and celebration amongst families; however, they can heighten children’s sense of loss. Whether it is loss from a death or a divorce, a child is more likely to acknowledge the fact that the relative is missing during these times that are spent with family. According to recent census data, 49.2% of children live in families impacted by death, divorce, separation and abandonment. Despite the sense of loss, parents can prepare for the season, making it special for their children. These seven steps have been created in order to make your child’s holiday season […]

Holiday Season Offers a Chance to Move Forward

Posted on November 1, 2011 - by Rachel Kodanaz

As we walk the path of grief, we look for a passage to help us understand how to comprehend the complexities of anguish and how to channel our emotions into a constructive solution. Logically, we know waking every morning with a constructive plan for the day will help us walk the path of grief. However, our bodies often tell us the pain is too new or too strong to actually execute the plan. The workplace offers an outlet to exercise intellect, logic and creativity, allowing our bodies to take a break from our personal grief and channel our emotions to […]

Finding Daughter’s Purse Restarts Grief Four Years Later

Posted on October 28, 2011 - by Harriet Hodgson

The lower level of our house gets lots of use, especially in the winter time. We watch television there and work in our home office. Fourteen years ago, we had new carpet installed and it had become worn and dirty. “Sorry, I can’t get it any cleaner,” the cleaning man said, and I believed him. It was time to install new carpet again. Before the crew arrived, we had to clear out closets and cull legal papers. In 2007, four family members died and we took in items from three estates. My husband was managing these estates and the paperwork […]

Physical Effects of Grief: Insomnia, Eating Problems, and More

Posted on October 27, 2011 - by Brandi Reyna

When I suddenly lost my fiancé in a car accident, my body had a traumatic response to the situation. When we grieve the loss of someone we love so much and who had such a profound impact on our life, we do not get to choose how our body reacts. We can’t place an order to God and say, “God, I would like to be able to eat today without getting sick,” or “I would like to be able to sleep tonight at a normal time and without nightmares, disturbing dreams and constant waking up.” If only grief work was […]

Transitions: How to Recapture the ‘Drive’

Posted on October 26, 2011 - by Marty Tousley

Question from a Reader: How do you bring back the “drive”? The desire to improve one’s self? The desire to learn something new, or to go with your goal? Since my husband died nearly a year ago, I’ve lost this drive and it seems hard to get it back. I still want to achieve some goals, yet I can’t seem to find the focus, the desire to go for them unlike before. My mind is willing to try again, but my body is tired. One minute I feel like I’m going to accomplish something, the next I feel too tired. […]

Like Trees in Fall, We Must Let Go

Posted on October 24, 2011 - by Deb Kosmer

I walk through the crunchy leaves that blanket the ground while others float down landing on me. I hesitate to brush them off. They are, after all, part of the beauty that is fall. That same breeze that makes the leaves dance swirls my hair around my face. I gently push it back as I continue my walk. I marvel at how quickly the trees are undressed. Just days ago they were covered. I think about how quickly our own lives change often catching us by surprise. How certain life events can make us feel naked and exposed. The dread […]

The Truth Behind the ‘Considerate Griever’

Posted on October 23, 2011 - by Catherine Tidd

Throughout the last few years, I have thought a lot about how we all handle widowhood differently. We all move at our own pace and grieve within our own comfort zone. It’s been interesting to me the way I’ve grieved. For the most part, I consider myself a pretty private person when it comes to just letting go. I’ve never even really cried during group “therapy” because I was afraid of looking “stupid” (I know…that’s stupid, but there you have it). In fact, I remember being at one ceremony with a young widows group that was really meant to be […]

How I Wear my Genes

Posted on October 22, 2011 - by Sharon Roth-Lichtenfeld

It’s October. The weather has turned cooler and I finally had to break out the jeans and long sleeved shirt. As I suspected, the 10 pounds that I gained showed themselves as I tried to button my jeans. Not only am I sad about the end of summer, I am also confronted with my weight gain and the tight fit of my once comfy blue jeans. UGH! Having to squeeze into a pair of jeans is just not fun. I could buy a bigger pair, or I could lose the 10 pounds. My choice is to lose the weight. I just […]

Are You Grieving Right? Yes!

Posted on October 21, 2011 - by Bobbi Emel

The 27-year-old young woman had called for an appointment because her father died six months ago. Now she sat across from me, squirming slightly on the comfortable suede sofa in my office. I asked how I could help her. She fidgeted a bit more, looking down at her hands. “What I want to know is . . .” she started off slowly and then rushed into the rest of the question, “Am I grieving right?” My client’s question was a valid one considering that the prevailing concept of grief continues to be that there are “stages” one must go through in order to […]