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Snow and Sibling-Loss

Posted on May 15, 2011 - by Evan Rieger

Snow fell from the cold winter skies when my beloved sister was buried. Miniature, delicate snowflakes seemed so out of place in the cemetery filled with grief, tears and darkness. I stared into the sky, away from the casket, and became completely captivated by the gorgeous snowfall. I needed something to distract my mind, even if only slightly. Everyone who surrounded me — my best friends, my family — I loved them more than anything. Watching them all break into tears and show that they too are human beings, and not gods, was quite a lot to handle. I found […]

I want my daddy back

Posted on May 14, 2011 - by admin

I am

Turning Over a New Faith

Posted on May 14, 2011 - by Kevin Quiles

Today, some have seriously thought of exchanging a theology once handed down to them by family members for another belief system that in their minds can better tackle the questions that accompany pain. God, as they understand God, just doesn’t seem to ease the emotional and mental anguish brought about by unexpected and vicious events. My hope in this brief letter is to inspire those of you who are experiencing such a theological shift. Unlike a call to maintain the “faith of your fathers,” my goal here is to encourage you to grab hold of whatever new ideas that bring […]

Walking Backwards into the Future

Posted on May 13, 2011 - by KimBoo York

Mistakes haunt us. Regrets torment us. Grief – for any loss – rips at us. We pick at these wounds hoping for miraculous healing. We study them, trying to figure out what went wrong. We relive them in our minds over and over looking for what we could have done differently. We waste years staring at our past, walking backwards into the future. Let me boil down the essence of 10,000 self-help books on the market right now: turn around, put your back to the past and look at the path ahead. No lie: it’s the hardest thing to do, […]

Dreams of Death, Thoughts that Empower

Posted on May 13, 2011 - by K. Paul Stoller

As I write this story, it is Easter Sunday 2011, a point that I pray will not be relevant to anyone reading this in the weeks and months to come. Before my late son was born, I began to have a series of dreams that I call the “Royal” dreams, because they had something to do with either Prince Charles or Lady Di, and sometimes both. I remember one that took place in the 1980s, with Prince Charles giving me a long dissertation on his interests, and I didn’t get a word in edgewise. I found these dreams, if nothing […]

The Heart Remembers

Posted on May 12, 2011 - by Debra Reagan

In Loving Memory of My Son, Clint, 1885-2005 The heart remembers even when we aren’t actively thinking about our child. It was 51/2 years since our son had died of a drug overdose. The thoughts weren’t in front of my face all the time, and the weight wasn’t so heavy on my shoulders. I was finding the energy to re-invest into my new normal. We were planning a trip to the Grand Canyon. It would be a trip of a lifetime. We were visiting with family and hiking the canyon. My mind had been filled with preparations for the trip. […]

Orioles and Wood Ducks: Birds of Hope

Posted on May 11, 2011 - by Mary Westra

I never used to pay much attention to the birds. To me, they were just little brown blobs I’d notice from the corner of my eye while I was flitting to the garage, to the garbage can, or to the mailbox. A busy mom, I didn’t have time to stop and look. Then, when my kids were older, I went back to work and really jammed activity and purpose into every day. I’d catch up with the birds later when I had more time. Then my twenty-four year old son, Peter, was kicked to death by bouncers outside a club […]

Griefing for the loss of my wife

Posted on May 10, 2011 - by admin

My late wife Ely passed away on March 19 after a long illness suffering from Cardiomyopathy. We have been together for almost 30 years and have never separated. Since her death, I almost went to the graveyard to visit her everyday in spite of looking at the slideshow at home all day of all the beautiful photos including the ones she was in the casket at the funeral service. I was scared to go outside since the day she passed away other than going to the graveyard. I was so used to be with her all my life seeing the […]

Returning to the Hospital Stirs Fears, Hopes

Posted on May 10, 2011 - by Catherine Tidd

I recently experienced a personal milestone that may not seem like much to the outside world. But it’s something that I know other widows who are trying to navigate this road will understand. I went to a doctor’s appointment with someone I have been dating to find out whether he was really sick…or just in excruciating pain. The appointment wasn’t IN the hospital but it was in an office within a block of the hospital, an area I’ve avoided for the past 4 years, since my husband died. The good news is that the doctor believes that what they had […]

The Gift of Forgiveness for Mother’s and Father’s Day

Posted on May 8, 2011 - by Robin Edgar

For many, the Mother’s and Father’s Day tradition is a welcome way to celebrate the meaningful lessons your parents taught you by deed or example. For those who are estranged from parents, this can be a time of tension and unhappiness. It can also hinder the grief process when someone harbors unresolved issues with someone they have lost. Facilitating Love and Forgiveness Conversations for the Fetzer Institute, I saw time and again the far-reaching impact of the ability, or inability, to forgive. Fred Luskin, PhD, author of Forgive for Love, states, “If you are in a relationship that needs healing, the […]