Griefing for the loss of my wife

My late wife Ely passed away on March 19 after a long illness suffering from Cardiomyopathy. We have been together for almost 30 years and have never separated.

Since her death, I almost went to the graveyard to visit her everyday in spite of looking at the slideshow at home all day of all the beautiful photos including the ones she was in the casket at the funeral service. I was scared to go outside since the day she passed away other than going to the graveyard. I was so used to be with her all my life seeing the phases from being beautiful, intellectual and healthy to the last minute of her life by her death bed.

I find it extremely difficult to accept that everything is now behind me. She has always been my soulmate and I spent my heart and soul in my waking hour and every ounce of my energy in the care of her throughtout her life. Now that she is gone and I felt meaningless to me as though I have no useful purpose in life without her. I really wish I could lie beside her as we have our graves side by side and the marker bearing both names.


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  • Bill Gard says:

    I know exactly how you feel. I lost my wife Patt on 2/28/11. She was my life…she and I had only been married for 6 years, as we both had previous marriages. But she was the one, the only one. I too feel like my life is pretty much meaningless now. Half of me is now gone. It’s still hard for me to believe I have lost her. Good luck to you.

  • Liz Green says:

    My dear husband, Brad passed away from nonhodgkin’s lymphoma at 53. He underwent, much chemo, surgeries and the final hope, a stem cell transplant with his sister’s stem cells. Brad rarely complained–he just wanted to do whatever it took to get better I do understand your pain and loneliness. I can’t believe it’s been 9 months. I think how have I gotten through 9 months without him–I have no answer–one day leads into another and then another. Just know that what you are feeling, many of us have too I’m searching for a purpose or mission–my life revolved around all that was needed to get Brad better. Now I’m at a lost–the mission has ended, now I’ve got to figure out how to come to terms with this life. Try to be kind to yourself liz

  • Sue says:

    Dear Cyril, I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. May you find solace and comfort in the following:

    • Will says:

      Hi, my name is Will. I to lost my beautiful wife of 35 years to a CHEMOTHERAPY infection. I’ve been left behind with our beautiful little boy, who is certified special needs. I can not live with anyone else and I’am also terrified of leaving him by himself if something were to happen to me. Even When I’am around other people or family, I still feel so lonely.

  • Gary says:

    Soulmate. That’s what my wife called me after we had been going out for a while. I didn’t know what it was but I was too proud to ask, I just took it as a good thing. She had been having trouble breathing for years and nobody could figure out why. So I spent all my time with her. I helped her up from her chair, helped her to the bathroom, etc. This became my life. We changed our diets and took alternative medicine to make her stronger. We never thought about death.
    Two weeks ago today she died in my arms. I know what a soul mate is now… It sounds like we share the same grief. I hope we can all learn to cope with this “long black tunnel”. (Sorry if this is fragmented and missing parts, but I’m only half here.)