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Accepting Change Can Bring Peace

Posted on March 18, 2011 - by Mary Jane Hurley Brant

In my younger days, I was naive enough to think I could control change. I’ve learned, but not quickly enough, that no one can control or stop change. And, here is an interesting little fact: Charles Darwin believed that those people who survive are the ones who can adapt to ongoing change. That thought of survival brings me to today’s topic of change and how to understand it a little better. First, that things will change is predictable and inevitable. Think of those individuals you know who, despite painful adversity, have been able to go on even after their world […]

mum killed by a brick wall

Posted on March 17, 2011 - by admin

on the 1st Feb this year my mum was at home gardening on a week off from work, a solid brick wall from an out building just fell on her and crushed her to death, my dad came home from work and found her, she had been there around 4hours we think, there is an inquest. i dont think i am grieving, think i am atill in shock, just cant beleive it, i am 23 and mum was only 51, anyone out there who can talk? thanks

Workplace Grief: Listening to the Griever

Posted on March 17, 2011 - by Deb Kosmer

Helping hurting employees can be complicated, challenging, and confusing, especially when the employee’s needs and reactions change from one day to the next. Grieving people are often unsure what they want from others, which complicates things further. Just as there is no rulebook as to the length and pattern of grief, there is no right way to respond, no checklist of solutions to provide needed assistance. It is important to remember that grief is not a cloak someone can take off when they walk out the door. It accompanies a person wherever he or she goes, which by necessity includes […]

For Men: Living a Regret-Free Life After Loss

Posted on March 17, 2011 - by Ron Villano

Hands down, the strongest, most destructive part of grief is regret. That ever-present feeling that you could have done more. Regret can become so strong that everything else about life gets tossed aside. It is exactly what happened to me. The night before I lost my 17-year old son, Michael, in an auto accident, he had come over from his mother’s house to get something from my house. He was outside in the driveway playing basketball with my oldest son, Ronald. I looked down from the window upstairs and watched them for a few minutes. He didn’t see me. I […]

The Response of the Human Spirit to Loss

Posted on March 16, 2011 - by Jane Simington

When we experience significant loss, every aspect of our humanness responds in agony. As the initial physical effects dissipate, they leave in their wake an accumulation of emotional and spiritual responses to the loss. Some of these responses begin to appear only over time, often long after the needed support offered by loved ones and professionals has been removed. Even though the effects of spiritual distress take a tremendous toll, resources for healing spiritual pain are not readily available. In this article, I will examine the effects of loss on the human spirit, and explore means for promoting healing and […]

Releasing Anger While Dealing with Loss

Posted on March 16, 2011 - by Shirley Wiles-Dickinson

As most of us know, there are certain things that trigger our emotions while on this journey of grief. I think it’s safe to say that we all understand there are different stages of grief, different emotions and feelings also. Many people experience anger while grieving. Anger at the deceased, anger at God, anger at the situation, just plain anger. After my sister was murdered, just under 18 months ago, I experienced anger. I still experience it. I was angry that it happened to my sister. I was angry at God, and I still have a few questions for him. […]

The Twins and Their Shadows

Posted on March 15, 2011 - by admin

My fourth grade year concluded with long shadows cast over it. The class was all elbows and knees. Among my classmates were “the twins”, Bobby and Ricky – the source of fascination. 2 people who seemed to be versions of the other was mysterious to us all. Then, one morning in February, the principle arrived and prompted us to notice that the twins were not present. The twins, home alone, were playing with a family gun and one had accidentally shot and killed the other. He announced that children should never play with guns. And then he left. Our teacher […]

Questions About Public Grieving

Posted on March 15, 2011 - by Tony Falzano

Have you noticed the attention the media give to public figures suffering through terminal illness and grief? Most recently, activist Sargent Shriver and attorney Elizabeth Edwards have been in the news. And before them, there were celebrities Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon. As these public figures faced the paparazzi, they became role models as they witnessed to us their personal struggles with deteriorating health. In return, we have all been touched on a deep and cellular level. For some of us, it became a topic of conversation at the water cooler, in our car pool or at the dinner table. […]

Don’t Let Them Go

Posted on March 14, 2011 - by Gabriel Constans

Death always seems to come to soon or when we don’t expect it. No matter how long someone has lived or how they’ve died, it is impossible to fully prepare for the moment and the days that follow. Our relationships don’t end with death. We are always connected. Death changes the way in which we can communicate, but our feelings, thoughts, memories and experiences live on. We can say goodbye to a loved one, as we knew them, but we don’t have to say goodbye forever. We can choose to say “hello” to them, as the days pass, how we […]

From the Fires Come Unexpected Gifts

Posted on March 14, 2011 - by Vicky Bates

A few years back, we had a forest fire here in the Sawtooth Mountains. The first evening, we collectively came out and stood on hillsides to watch in horror and awe as the flames engulfed the woods and the pristine scenery, never dreaming it would overpower the town in the days to come. It seemed incomprehensible. As the days went on, a multitude of states were called in to assist, tents were set up, meals prepared. For weeks, acres of trees burned up and down the mountainsides, closing in on our historic town. Finally, people were asked to take their important […]