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Merry Go Round and Round: Rhythms of Grief

Posted on January 22, 2024 - by Elizabeth Brady

Merry Go Round My mom made it a priority to take me and my siblings to the Smithsonian to visit the touring exhibits that came through the D.C. museums. I am the eldest of four, and amidst our collective moans and groans over another trek downtown from the suburbs in her diesel station wagon, my mom promised a ride or two on the lone carousel on the National Mall as a treat. I loved the carousel; I remember when it was installed in 1981. We were delighted by what seemed a whimsical addition to the stately mall. A blue and […]

Seeking Comfort after a Child Dies

Posted on January 8, 2024 - by Nina Norstrom

Pain After a Child Dies I’ll say this clearly: parents aren’t expected to live to bury their children. And when we do, the impact can be heartbreaking, devastating. Although the wounds mend, they are never fully healed—especially during holidays, birthdays, graduations, wedding ceremonies, and even when embracing someone else’s child or grandchild. In the beginning, the tears flowed outwardly, but later they would flow inwardly. Eventually, I found some comfort. Certain things did help, like the day the nurse came and stated, “I wanted you to know we didn’t let her die alone. When it was time, I stayed with her […]

Finding a Path Through Unresolved Grief

Posted on January 8, 2024 - by Lori Grande

The First Moments of Grief After landing at Miami International Airport on the evening of June 8th, 2005, I hopped in a friend’s car and said, “Take me to William.” Arriving at my brother’s home guarded by the City of Miami Police and covered in crime scene tape, I ran to the officer, begging, “Please, I’m his sister, I have to go to him.” The police officer shook his head no. Touching the front gate, my fingers slid down the tape as I collapsed in my friend’s arms. After a while, regaining strength to hold myself upright, I said, “Take […]

The Shock of Losing a Child

Posted on January 8, 2024 - by Lo Anne Mayer

Returning to the Place Excitement coursed through my veins as I anticipated my appointment in Glastonbury, England. Thirteen years had passed since I stood in this exact spot. I couldn’t resist sprinting up High Street and turning right on Wells Road. I slowed down from fear and perspiration on this hot August morning as I approached my destination. The shock of seeing the Abbey House through its huge gate was overwhelming. I leaned against the 10-foot-high stone wall that surrounded the property. I needed to catch my breath and focus on why I came. The charcoal-gray stones were cool and […]

Coping with Traumatic Loss of Daughter

Posted on January 3, 2024 - by Harriet Hodgson

What is Traumatic Loss? In 2007, the traumatic loss of my daughter became imprinted in my mind forever. A traumatic loss is sudden, unexpected, and happens without warning. The loss of Helen was more than traumatic; it was violent. I pictured the crashed car in my mind and Helen’s crushed, bleeding body. The images were torturous. Her death was nature’s mistake, an out-of-turn death. The car crash happened on a snowy February night. Helen and her daughter, one of her twins, were on their way home from a Girl Scout meeting several towns away. It was snowing, and the country […]

Happy New Year is Tough on Bereaved Parents

Posted on January 1, 2024 - by Alice Wisler

When the ball at Times Square drops, champagne corks pop. Ample hugs and kisses are dispensed all around. A new year, new hope, new ventures, new possibilities. Wow, it’s all so exciting! However, for the parent who has lost a child in the previous year, the dawning of a new calendar year can be rough. In fact, most of the time, it is. The bereaved parent can feel isolated, lonely, and sorrowful while everyone else is celebrating. Daniel died at age four in February 1997 and entering 1998 was hard. My mind was filled with questions like: What am […]

The Lonely Year for Widows

Posted on December 28, 2023 - by Harriet Hodgson

The Lonely Year for Widows After so many losses in one year, loneliness was personal for me. We’d had Golden Retrievers for years, and I missed them. One dog was named Sally and the other was named Max. I longed to have a pet again, but according to retirement community rules, I could only have fish. In my mind, fish weren’t true pets; they didn’t respond to names or offer affection. For centuries, dogs had adapted to humans and learned to “read” their body language and conversation. While it was fun to see the pet therapy dogs that came to […]

A Christmas Promise

Posted on December 25, 2023 - by Larry Patten

A Christmas Promise On a long-ago Christmas Eve, I made my last visit to a patient as her hospice chaplain. I was honoring a promise made weeks before. While a December storm spit rain, and clouds played hide-and-seek with the stars, I held the hand of a dying woman. In the surrounding neighborhood, holiday lights flickered, inflatable Santas and snowmen waved greetings, and outdoor ornaments sparkled as the gusting wind teased them. In the patient’s room, it was quiet. In the patient’s room, she now mostly slept. New Obligations I’d already started working as a congregation’s new minister. It had […]

The Last Christmas Stocking

Posted on December 24, 2023 - by Lisa Irish

The First Christmas Stocking The first Christmas stocking I ever made was in 1960. I was 10 years old and living in Walnut Creek, California with my parents, Ted and Lillian. We didn’t have too many Christmas rituals, no church services or Advent candles. There was a china nativity set. It was small, but had all the important characters. We had a tree, of course. And my stocking. That red felt stocking was put up every year and I found it filled up every Christmas morning. As the Christmas of 1960 approached, my mom said, “This will be Daddy’s last […]

Wishing the Holidays Would Go Away: Tips for Coping

Posted on December 21, 2023 - by Mary Joye

Holiday Pain Many people love the first crisp, nip of fall in the air. To those who are grieving, it can coldly cut deep into the spirit and re-open the wound. While children are making wishes to Santa, those that are living with the pain of loss are wishing the holidays would go away. If only wishing made it so. The moment the holiday lights come out, you may feel like you want to sit in the dark. You may not want to put out your decorations. You may not feel like lighting the candles of your faith. You may […]