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Immediately After a Suicide: Three Things to Remember

Posted on August 26, 2024 - by Bob Baugher

As you begin to take in the reality of the loss of your loved one by suicide, there are three things to remember: Take Care of Yourself Right now, you may not feel like anything matters. You have been psychologically wounded by this death, and as with any injury, you will have to focus for a while on finding ways to cope with the pain and take care of yourself. No One Cannot Do This Alone You will have to find ways of surviving that work for you. They will not necessarily be the same methods of coping used by […]

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Telling Young Children of a Suicide

Posted on August 26, 2024 - by Bob Baugher

Telling Young Children of a Suicide Parents are often understandably concerned about how the harsh fact of a suicide in the family, particularly of a parent, will affect their children. They may wonder whether telling their children–particularly young children–the truth about the death will cause more harm than good. And if they do decide to tell their children the truth, they struggle to find the words to explain what they find very hard to understand themselves – “Why did this person take their life?” It is important to know something about the developmental processes that children experience as they grow […]

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Not Censoring our Grief Stories

Posted on August 26, 2024 - by Greg Adams

Not Censoring our Grief Stories I was recently in a bookstore on vacation with my wife and adult daughter. As we sat at a table drinking our afternoon pick-me-up beverages, both asked if I had seen a particular book on the shelf with books signed by the authors. I had not and went over to look. It was a grief book, not surprisingly, and I brought it back to the table for review. I liked the chapter and section titles and descriptions. I liked the people listed in the acknowledging of “grief guides.”  And I liked the title and the […]

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Grief Can Surface Any Time

Posted on August 24, 2024 - by Linda Pountney

Grief Can Surface Any Time Denial of grief is common and misunderstood. Grief can wait in the wings for a time to surface, when you are better prepared to absorb its lessons. It can be triggered by other losses. Left undone, grief can wreak havoc with your ability to enjoy life and feel positive emotions. Grief has no time frame. It can be postponed, but never put away. My identical twin sister Paula Pountney died unexpectedly as her small plane crashed into the Atlantic Ocean one Thanksgiving night. We were 21 years old. With the same genes and a shared […]

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Loss of a Twin has Huge Impact

Posted on August 23, 2024 - by Linda Pountney

Loss of a Twin has Huge Impact The unthinkable can happen. One of your twins or triplets could vanish from your life. During a period of deep grief, how would you console each other and provide support for your surviving twin or triplet? By addressing this uncomfortable subject, a dual purpose will be served. There is a remarkable connection between twins and other multiples. The link that binds twins together from before birth is crucial to understanding what happens when the bond is broken. It sheds light on what constitutes a twinship. Mourning the loss of one’s twin can threaten […]

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Multiple Losses Can Increase Isolation

Posted on August 20, 2024 - by Harriet Hodgson

Multiple Losses Can Increase Isolation “We don’t see many people these days,” my husband commented. “I know,” I answered. “It’s because of our multiple losses.” After our twin grandchildren lost their parents in separate car crashes in 2007 we became their legal guardians and conservators — roles that required tremendous time and documentation. Then two more family members died. Grieving for four loved ones while raising grandchildren is the hardest thing we have ever done. Coming to terms with one death is hard, but coming to terms with four is much harder. According to Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD, Director of […]

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Grieving the Loss of a Narcissist or Sociopath

Posted on August 19, 2024 - by Mary Joye

Grieving the Loss of a Narcissist As if grieving a loved one isn’t enough, it can become exponentially more complex when we lose someone in our lives that was narcissistic or sociopathic. In so many cultures we are vehemently taught not to speak ill of the dead. It is a lovely and loving custom, but what if the deceased spoke ill of you or was abusive to you in any way. Grieving the loss of a narcissist takes skill. This is a particularly difficult dynamic if the loss was a parent. You feel forced to go through the stages of […]

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How Does Twin Honor the Sister Who Died?

Posted on August 19, 2024 - by Linda Pountney

How Does Twin Honor the Sister Who Died? Gladys writes in: I just lost my twin sister three months ago to something we now know as Long QT syndrome. She was perfectly healthy and woke to check on her crying baby one morning and fell unconscious and never gained consciousness again. Our 30th birthday is this Sunday and I am wanting to do something special. Honestly, I wish that I could skip this birthday altogether. Do you have any ideas of how to honor her memory? Linda Pountney, vice president of Twinless Twins Support Group International, responds: Dear Gladys: Please […]

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New Normal for Mom after Death of Adult Son

Posted on August 17, 2024 - by Laura Klouzek

New Normal for Mom after Death of Adult Son There was no rain, just some dark misty clouds.  There in the sky was a beautiful rainbow.  We were traveling home from the hospital after our son Lucas died, and saw the rainbow come from nowhere.  It stayed with us 10 minutes or so, and I knew deep within me that God had sent that sight for me, to give me some sort of peace or hope for the future. It has been over a year since we beheld that gorgeous sight, and every time I see a rainbow, I am […]

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A Letter to Grieving Mothers

Posted on August 15, 2024 - by Catherine McNulty

A Letter to Grieving Mothers Why did this have to happen?  It is the first question you ask.  It is the question you will ask yourself day after day as you grieve the loss of your child.  Welcome to the club.  It is a club that none of us join freely but once you enter, you are in and cannot escape. You are a mother without a child.  You grieve a hurt that knows no boundaries and tears at your heart.  At times you feel it is almost impossible to breathe.  I share your grief with you. This time of […]

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