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Obama’s Tucson Speech Shows How Words Can Help the Grieving

Posted on January 19, 2011 - by Irv Leon

Pres. Obama’s moving address to the nation last week may be viewed as a fine illustration of how we help others who grieve traumatic losses and what such grieving demands of us. Commentary on his own words will demonstrate how his short speech said so much. “There is nothing I can say that will fill the sudden hole torn in your hearts.” No words can undo this loss, though, ironically, this belies how much the right words and compassion can make a difference. The violent and traumatic nature of the killings is viscerally felt and not avoided in describing its […]

First Responder Learned Calm from Grandmother

Posted on January 19, 2011 - by Jeff Watson

I was born in the mountains of North Carolina and grew up on a small farm with my grandparents. All of my family were members of the local Baptist Church. My grandfather passed away when I was five. His passing was sudden and extremely painful for me. During the funeral, the entire family was eerily calm. As I grew older, my grandmother always told me not to mourn the passing of loved ones, since they were in a better place. Death was an almost weekly occurrence on the farm as the animals were always being harvested for consumption or dying […]

Poem: Music In Mourning

Posted on January 18, 2011 - by John French

~~Music in Mourning~~ Oh how misery sings to me, in wailing moans of agony. With shrieks and groans as overtones, within a dismal symphony. And woe; it rings from somber strings, and echoes with the winds. It rumbles like a perpetual storm, amidst weeping violins. And lo, how confounding it can be. Deciphering tones that lack rhythm and flow, and trumpet the disharmony. And though, it plays for me alone, the constant mournful steady drone, is an endless tribute unto thee. John French 2011 =

Family Photos Document Life Before and After Widowhood

Posted on January 18, 2011 - by Catherine Tidd

I don’t take a whole lot of pictures anymore. This wasn’t a conscious decision, but it is a big change from the person I used to be. In my early days as a mother, I was a huuuuge scrapbooker. I did what every typical mother does. I took one million pictures of my first born, around 500,000 of my second, and by the time the third one came around, I took about two a month, just so she would know she wasn’t born as a 5-year-old. I used to not only take pictures at events, but take them at every different angle […]

Sudden Loss of My Baby Brother

Posted on January 17, 2011 - by admin

On December 1st 2010, my life changed suddenly. All I can remember is my dad calling crying saying Ty was in a tragic car accident and we didnt know what was going to happen. 30 minutes later he was gone…I couldnt say I love you one more time, no more hugs, no more promises, no more future hopes for such a young and promising person. How does someone live normally again when the future is no longer what it was supposed to be?

Music for my Relatives: Understanding Buchenwald

Posted on January 17, 2011 - by Stan Goldberg

I thought about my father’s family tree as I drove from Prague to Weimer. Thirty-three relatives had died in Auschwitz, three had been liberated from Dachau, but nothing was written about Buchenwald, the concentration camp I would visit the next day, November 11th, 2010. It was Veterans Day in the United States and Armistice Day in Europe. I stood just inside the entrance and looked at the sign which could only be read by prisoners after they entered single-file through an iron door, giving the SS an opportunity to formally “initiate” them into the culture of Buchenwald. Jedum Das Seine. […]

After Someone Dies, Can We Still Live in Joy?

Posted on January 16, 2011 - by Kimberly Wencl

It was September of 2003, and my daughter, Elizabeth, who had just turned 20, was beginning her sophomore year at the University of Minnesota. During the early morning hours of Saturday, September 20th, a fire broke out in her duplex, and she and two roommates died of smoke inhalation. The question I’m often asked is how can you find joy when you have suffered such a devastating loss? The answer is simple, yet complex. It is a journey and not a destination. I wouldn’t be where I am today had God, or The Universe as I like to call it, […]

Three Mindfulness Techniques for Grieving People

Posted on January 15, 2011 - by Kim Go

Mindfulness practitioners offer the insight that resisting our pain often deepens our pain. What can manifest when we resist our pain? When we attempt to cripple our awareness and pain, the inner wisdom will reliably refuse to back down. So, inner wisdom shows itself in a crippled fashion, perhaps in the guise of panic attacks, physical malady, sleep disturbance, rage, dissociative behavior, crisis, abusive self-medicating or other insults to the body, mind and spirit. The mind can become tormented – as the Buddhists characterize it – the “monkey mind.” I should say that I am not a specialist. I am […]

100 Great Stress Busters for Kids

Posted on January 14, 2011 - by Jewel Sample

Stress is the normal nervous tension we feel in our bodies when we are making a transition in our life. Change is sometimes predictable like the birth of a baby, transferring to a higher school grade or graduation from high school. Then there are changes that happen unexpectedly, like coming down with a major illness, being involved in an accident, the sudden death of a loved one; or a disaster strikes like a major flood or fire. These types of life events demand adjustment to life being different from what is now. Some call it a new normal. While we […]

The Tucson Memorial Service: Why did People Applaud?

Posted on January 13, 2011 - by Harriet Hodgson

Like millions of other Americans, I turned on the television to watch the memorial service for the victims of the Tucson rampage. The service opened with music, as many traditional services do, and President and Mrs. Obama bowed their heads as the symphony orchestra played the Copeland fanfare. Then things began to change. People, approximately 24,000 of them, began to applaud points the speakers made. “You shouldn’t applaud at a memorial service,” I commented to my husband, who was sitting beside me. “No, you shouldn’t, he agreed. As the service progressed, I realized this wasn’t an ordinary memorial service. Somehow, […]