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Spirit of Errol Heals the Living

Posted on December 27, 2010 - by Jonathan Milner

In a certain sense, we all start dying as soon as we are born, but with my son Errol’s birth, death approaches immediately. On the fifth day of his tenuous life, Errol undergoes open-heart surgery, and six excruciating weeks later, we bring our fragile baby home to begin a very different life than we had anticipated. Errol is born with a significant heart defect and cognitive disability that prevent him from walking or talking and demand our constant vigilance. As we grieve the child we had anticipated, Errol’s full-bodied smile and irrepressible laugh turn our sorrow into joy, and teach […]

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Six Steps to Regaining Balance After a Loss

Posted on December 26, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

After a loved one dies you’re overwhelmed with contradictory feelings. You have trouble sleeping and feelings you didn’t know you keep you awake for hours. At least, that is my experience after four family members, my daughter, father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law, in 2007. Hymns, poems, novels and stories have been written about the quest for peace. Though religious and spiritual beliefs can contribute to peace, in the long run, peace is something we grant to ourselves. In order to survive the grief journey we must make peace with many things. Doing this can be the biggest challenge of our […]

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Holidays a Time for Relinquishment and Renewal

Posted on December 25, 2010 - by Susan Reynolds

As a widow, I continually try to be positive in the changes and growth that have emerged in my widowhood.   Attending bereavement sessions around the holidays, I hear and see the word, “surviving”. Surviving to me connotes a time of languish, a sacrifice and an insurmountable obstacle.  Most of us experiencing loss have felt fleeting moments of such, but then again we may find a single bright moment that leads the way to hope and renewal and even revival on this grief journey. Holidays not only suggest shopping as with birthdays, Hanukkah and Christmas, but also include decorating, baking […]

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papa i m missng you

Posted on December 24, 2010 - by admin

i am 24 yrz old…my papa loved me a lot he alwz encouraged me boosted me in all problems…he wanted me to be an officer in civil servicz….i am living in a very strict and narrow minded social set up,,,but my papa gave me full freedom of thought and expression,,,he waz much enlightend person despite of my social set up….. i loved my father…bt in the last dayz of hiz life i waz not giving him much time….dont know what state of mind i had than ,,,i waz rude with him….he died suddenly ,,left me speechless ..it waz a huge […]

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A Sensitive Christmas

Posted on December 24, 2010 - by admin

While reading a history of caroling in Greece, this jumped out… …These carolers have far more consideration for the feelings of their fellow – creatures than English carolers… the candle lighter is always sent on ahead to inquire of the household that they propose to visit if there is mourning in the house… Here is a culture that acted like mourning people mattered! Here is a hint about a culture that bent low to care for those in grief. Grief makes everything burn more intensely, things sound harsher, our senses are raw and easily jangled. It might seem like you […]

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Remembering a Child, Celebrating a Holiday

Posted on December 24, 2010 - by Cynthia Ranyak

The holiday season is calling to us again, the grieving parents of children that we love and lost.   We have a different kind of celebration, but it is our own, and for our own reasons, we put up our holiday decorations or decide that maybe next year we can face the world that is so different from our own. Our world is full of memories of times past and celebrations that were full of our children’s laughter and hopes and dreams. How can we celebrate this Christmas with our families and make new memories without disrupting our precious memories?  What can […]

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Is this Really the Season to Be Jolly?

Posted on December 23, 2010 - by Susan Berger

Tis the season to be jolly. This verse from the Christmas song “Deck the Halls,” belies the sadness that many people feel during the winter holiday season.  Many folks are fortunate to be celebrating with family and friends.  I wish you the best, if you are. But, if you are among those who have lost a loved one this year,  this season may offer little comfort and joy. It  may be difficult  for you to participate in holiday festivities, let alone celebrate. You may wish to be alone, or spend quiet evenings with someone whom you care about – and who […]

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‘I’ll Take a Christmas Tree, Stocking and Kleenex for the Road’

Posted on December 22, 2010 - by Kate McGrath

The halls are decked out with glittered-things galore, our stockings are hung on the mantle with care, and one Christmas tree is glimmering – trimmed to the top because of an unexpected amount of holiday cheer. I couldn’t ask for anything more. Oh wait. Yes I could.  Dear Brother, where are you? If only you could be here this very second! Indeed, I find it funny how the holiday seasons can be like that.  At one point, I can find myself totally calm and in a state of complete bliss, especially after hearing my favorite piano rendition of “What Child […]

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Meeting the Needs of Fatherless Children

Posted on December 22, 2010 - by Janet Grimes

Perhaps there is one in your life, a child who needs a father, or at least a father figure while his own might be away for an extended period of time. For children, the absence of a father is most apparent during the holiday season. Children tend to dream within their means, sensing the financial strain and recognizing the fact that their mother is working as hard as humanly possible. They also know that Mom is the one who keeps the family functional, providing their every need. For this reason, some children may back away from asking Mom to stop […]

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For Men: Letting Grief Out One Word at a Time

Posted on December 20, 2010 - by Ron Villano

What do holidays and journal writing have in common?  They show how you feel.  And that is perhaps the toughest and roughest part of living life as a man — that homegrown instinct to bottle up the negativity in order to always show strength.   It means that feelings and emotions get trapped deep inside.  It is at the very heart of why men’s grief is so desperately personal, especially at the holiday and family celebration times. I believe that our minds are like garages.  We store everything up there.  Ideas, beliefs and values…many of which have all been shifted and […]

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