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Celebrating the Holidays After the Death of your Child

Posted on November 26, 2010 - by Susan Gilbert & Suzanne Redfern

After my husband and I lost our daughter Amanda, age 18, the first few holidays held anxiety and dread for us. We anticipated waves of grief and deep sadness because she was not present to celebrate with us, and we wondered if we would ever find meaning in the holidays again. We did find a few techniques that have helped us through the years and you may find our experiences beneficial to you, especially in the early years following your loss. Have a plan. It is good to be mindful that the day will probably be difficult and it is […]

missing a loving daughter

Posted on November 25, 2010 - by admin

on 8-27-2008 at 10:50 am my daghter die of aplastic anemmia,she need it a bone marrow transplant and we couldnt find one,we lok every where and wasnt a match,my family was tested and only 3 people was half match my older daughter melissa,my 5 years old grandson and an aunt in guatemala city,but it was too late she die before did the match except my older daughter plealetes was the the doctor put her in her body,since then i dont like to celebrated thanksgiving and christmas because her birthday is 11-24-1987 for me those days are holidays because i don […]

Turkey, Cranberry Sauce and Memories

Posted on November 24, 2010 - by Kate McGrath

The holiday season has arrived and I welcome it! I open my arms to the experience of feeling excited and simultaneously having the sensation of a throat constricting grief – well-known visitors during the holidays. Together, bitter and sweet emotions have given my life vibrancy I would have least expected, especially when my brother died sixteen years ago. Indeed, I would have gladly cast off any emotions that are the antithesis of joy or happiness. And as an eight-year-old at that time, I probably did avoid such feelings. Today, I give thanks for those moments that I can mourn the […]

Young, Widowed with Only One Thanksgiving to Remember

Posted on November 24, 2010 - by Chasity Glass

Even if I am young and widowed and we didn’t have much time together, I should remember how we celebrated Thanksgiving. But I don’t. I wasn’t blessed with five or ten years of holiday traditions with my husband. We celebrated only one Thanksgiving and now I am cursing myself – I can’t remember what we did. It’s not like the memory is blurry, I have blurry, fuzzy memories of us together. No, this is different. I simply can’t recall. I can’t picture a turkey or who carved it. I can’t image where we where, if we went somewhere, and whether […]

Riding The Emotional Roller Coaster Ride

Posted on November 24, 2010 - by Sharon Roth-Lichtenfeld

Loving and caring for a loved one who has a life-long illness is an emotional roller-coaster ride ranging from disbelief, anger, fear, hope, depression, indifference to acceptance and moving forward. Your thoughts and feelings can swing minute-by minute, hourly, daily or weekly. Each thought or feeling has an impact, physically and mentally and it results in our attitude, which is either positive or negative. This is better known as a change cycle or grief cycle. The whirlwind of emotional heartache and grief is characterized by abrupt and extreme changes of ups and downs, and twists and turns. Each stage has […]

My son, my bestfriend

Posted on November 23, 2010 - by admin

Jonathan came into this world on Aug 20, 1990. He was born with a head full of red hair. I was a single mom and was ready for our adventure. 5 year later I married a man and we had a daughter, Heather. I was content with my life, for awhile. I had one of each-a son and a daughter. 7 years later the marriage ended and I was back to being a single parent. The 3 of us were tight until Oct 16, 2009. My son was traveling from Hilton Head, SC to Summerville, SC for work. He had […]

The Holidays Come Early For Widows

Posted on November 23, 2010 - by Catherine Tidd

I had a pretty good day recently. Which is shocking because I’ve starting in on my Christmas shopping. I think what made it okay was that first of all, I got to spend some time with my mom. The other thing though…the true miracle…is that I was doing it at all. For the past three Christmases (this will be my 4th without my husband), I think I have been in such denial that Christmas was going to actually happen that I left my shopping until the very last minute. This little practice made me feel so overwhelmed and exhausted by […]

Bringing Daniel Back to Life

Posted on November 22, 2010 - by Gabriel Constans

“Stop the train! I want to get off!” Jean shouted. Jean’s son of forty-three years had died in a restaurant. He choked to death. He had survived a life of infinite struggle as he lived with Down’s Syndrome and the isolation, stigma and cultural alienation he and his family had experienced daily. “He was such a good soul,” Jean continued, as tears streamed down her cheeks. “Of all the things to happen, why did it have to happen to him?” Her son Daniel had become increasingly independent as he aged and was living in a group home in the Bay […]

Taking the Plunge to Honor Son

Posted on November 22, 2010 - by John French

It has been a well over a year now since my life suddenly plunged into despair. Losing my son was devastating on every level, and life continues to spiral out of control. Every day, I fall a little further from the height of my elation. From those glorious days when I was on top of the world. Now, I struggle just to maintain my composure. There are days when I feel that I am regaining some stability, and moments when I plummet into a boundless despair. Everything seems so distant and distorted. I can’t look to the past or ponder […]

Using Linking Objects at Thanksgiving Dinner

Posted on November 22, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

The empty chairs at our Thanksgiving table are increasing. Four loved ones died in 2007 and, while the pain of loss has diminished, it’s still with me. My father-in-law, the family patriarch who always asked us to join hands and say, “God bless us every one,” won’t be with us. Nor will my elder daughter and her husband. My brother and I won’t talk on the phone. Thanksgiving is bittersweet because my daughter was born on this national holiday. I remember another bittersweet Thanksgiving. Years ago, when my mother was in the final stage of dementia, she joined us for […]