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Hints for Making it Through the Holidays

Posted on November 21, 2010 - by Barb Roberts

The holidays are coming, and this may be your first or second without your loved one. What do you do to get through this huge wave, this tsunami, looming before you? How do you cope when every time you turn on the radio in your car, turn on the television, go to the market, you see those around you with an intact family, with a holiday smile, and you are literally crumbling inside? There is no right or wrong way to respond when grieving – particularly grieving through the Holiday Season! We and sometimes those in our lives have the […]

Do Our Loved Ones Spend the Holidays With Us?

Posted on November 21, 2010 - by Christine Duminiak

Holidays can be one of the most sorrowful periods in our lives as the memories of treasured moments spent with our loves come flooding back. These are some of the times that we most dread. We often feel alone, and our pain can be even more intense. Oh, how we wish they could be here with us again, enjoying each other’s company and laughing and chatting again. Would you be shocked to learn that our loved ones in Heaven actually do come around to spend those special holidays with us? “What?” you might say. “How can you know this for […]

Don’t Let Last Words Be Words of Regret

Posted on November 20, 2010 - by Alicia King

Most people who have lost someone close to them replay their last moments together over and over in their minds. Sometimes it’s in a favorable way, thankful for the chance to say all they needed to say to each other. The “now or never” aspect casts a new, urgent light on what matters most. Priorities become clear. Other times, we think of everything we did wrong, they did wrong, or what we wish we could change. When death is unexpected, comments considered mundane at the time can turn out to be their much-repeated “last words.” Those of us left behind […]

20 Tips to Manage Grief During the First Holiday

Posted on November 19, 2010 - by Barbara Rubel

What would the world be like without holidays? Each year, families and friends look forward to sharing these special times together. This is often not the case for the bereaved, especially during the first holiday after a loss. If I were to ask you what you needed this holiday season, what would you say? Just like you, I was brought up to believe that holidays are fun and joyful. But now that you are grieving, it can make the holidays a painful and exhausting experience. Take the time to find healing activities and appreciate your life. Look at what your […]

Does Choosing How to Die Make a Difference?

Posted on November 18, 2010 - by Stan Goldberg

If you could choose the way you will die, what would it be? Many people cavalierly answer “old age” or “in my sleep,” as if either of these answers will offer relief from an event they’ll do almost anything to avoid thinking about. But for some of us, the answers have less latitude and little humor. We have a better idea than most people what will do us in. In my case, it will most likely be prostate cancer, unless something else beats it to the punch. I often think about the deaths of patients I’ve served for the past […]

Holidays With Feeling (and Little or No Money)

Posted on November 17, 2010 - by Kim Go

Before my life partner Brian died, the holidays looked VERY different than they do now. Before Brian died, ample money was spent on transport, hotels, meals… and the children’s gifts. Brian loved to spend money on his children – they grew accustomed to nice gifts and activities. My financial limitations after Brian died were daunting. Doing the holidays with less – one less person whom you loved, less money, less energy, less decorating, less food – can be a really tough situation. However, I found that with little to no money, and targeted energy, you can still create “holiday feeling” […]

i not only lost my mother i lost my best friend

Posted on November 16, 2010 - by admin

i lost my mum 6weeks ago it was a acddent that was never ment to happen i feel lost confussed numb angry and words cant express how am feeling at the moment it would be good to keep in contact with people that are going thought the same as they will understand what am going thought

Deceased Daughter’s Recovered Letter is Invaluable to Mom

Posted on November 16, 2010 - by Kimberly Wencl

It was August 30, 2006, and there it was. The article on fatal off-campus house fires was on the front page of that day’s edition of USA TODAY. I had been so pleased to receive a call, some three weeks earlier, from a reporter working on the story. They had done extensive research on all the fatal off-campus house fires across the US since 2000, and the article would run just in time for college students who were moving into off-campus housing for the upcoming school year. It was everyone’s hope that this article would keep other college kids from […]

A Motherless Daughter Ponders Dating and Love

Posted on November 16, 2010 - by Lauren Muscarella

At 25, I realize the experience of losing my mother will continue to evolve as time passes. Even if I had spent every waking moment with her until the day she died, I would still be here. I have no mom to talk with about my romantic relationships. She loved giving advice, so I know she would have taken great pride in being my shoulder to cry on and my closest advisor. I try to find substitutes. My father is a big believer of, “when it’s right you feel it.” His idea is too rose-colored glasses for me. Giving my […]

Replacing Flashbacks With Happy, Hopeful Images

Posted on November 16, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

Several weeks ago I drove to a meeting with friends. It was an hour and a half drive and, to pass the time, I showed them my new affirmations book. This led to a conversation about loss and grief, one of those sincere, gut-level moments that rarely come along. “I was with my mother when she died,” a friend shared. This painful “photo” stayed in her mind for years and she couldn’t get rid of it. As time passed, however, the “photo” began to fade. “Now I think of my mother in her garden and cooking in the kitchen,” she […]