i not only lost my mother i lost my best friend

i lost my mum 6weeks ago it was a acddent that was never ment to happen i feel lost confussed numb angry and words cant express how am feeling at the moment it would be good to keep in contact with people that are going thought the same as they will understand what am going thought

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  • Ruby Raylor says:

    Truly, life is an adventure. We either hide from them or engage them. There is no promise that afflictions will always be cured, but I do believe that healing can take place, which sets in motion the new experiences waiting for us.

  • Sara says:

    Hi Lisa,

    I am sorry for your loss, but I know hearing that doesn’t help right now. I lost my mom about 6 months ago traumatically, she took her life. No one had any idea she would die like that. I still feel confused, numb, and very angry sometimes. Words are often not enough to explain the overwhelming feelings of grief we expirience. Maybe something that may help you is drawing or something else creative that can more accurately depict and release your pain. But there is plenty of time for that. what everyone will tell you is “take it one day at a time.” Maybe even take things moment by moment. I will keep you in my thoughts

  • Brandi says:

    Lisa, Im sorry for your loss.
    I just lost my father and my best friend 3 days ago. He died in a tragic accident and i dont know ow to deal with it. Its such a roller coaster and im finding it hard to console my mother and little brother. I am 25 and my little brother is 13. They did everything together. Did u find it hard helping others in your situation? i have no more energy

  • Lionel says:

    HI Lisa. I lost my mom almost two years ago and I am still dealing with it on a daily basis. Luckily I have six siblings to help me cope with it. she raised us alone and was my sole provider until I was 18. i cry daily and sometimes it just happens when I’m in public and i can’t control it. But the only comfort I have is that she was very brave when it was her time. I am trying to find a local support group but have had no success. I will keep you in my prayers.

  • GriefOut says:

    Only the individual knows how he/she feels, and yet it is still difficult to understand why and how the feelings are so intense. As you deal with loss, there may be some days when you feel like you have made progress with healing. You will be able to enjoy life again. Hang on to hope, as it is the most important thing you can do.

  • Kathy says:

    My mom was killed May 9, 2010 (Mothers Day) I’m not angry at the man that killed her, but I have cried everyday. I’m waiting for the pain and emptiness to get better, but it hasn’t. I am not looking forward to Christmas without. There are days I think I am losing my mind. I don’t know how to get past the grief. I have siblings, but they are all married or in a relationship. I’m all alone and they don’t seem to understand why I am depressed and moody. Most days I feel like I have no one to talk to….the person I could talk to is gone……..

  • Bernadette says:

    What you are going through currently is “normal” emotions Kathy – take each day at a time – after the death of my husband i started a journal – to him – it worked for me for a time= it got me though the really tough times = and i felt very connected to him = i found myself in a zone for about a year – then i started noticing the trees etc – take care of yourself = and allow yourself to express your emotions – cos they are real – kind regards Bernadette = Sydney NSW

  • Bea says:

    Dear LIsa, I’m sorry for your pain and hope that someday it will be better. I lost my brother on November 14, 2010 suddenly and unexpectedly due to a medical problem. I found his body and am still in schock and numb from the experience. We can all support and reach out to each other. I find some comfort in the knowing that on some level you understand my pain. Please write if you would like and best wishes for inner strength. Bea

  • Raven says:

    My mother died unexpectedly on august 22nd 2009 from a ruptured aorta in her heart. We were very close and even though we lived far apart we talked every week, sent flowers, cards and letters. I spoke to her three days before and she was fine.She was my best friend, funny smart, a great cook, very well educated and a great emotional support. She loved me no matter what. She didn’t care who I dated, what jobs I took or weather I had pink hair or a nose ring, she loved me unconditionaly, and was always proud. As long as I was happy that was all that mattered to her. And when I screwed up or something bad happened, she was always there to talk to. When she died I was hundreds of miles away in California but when I called her that morning, I knew something was wrong. I can’t explain it but her phone rang once and then went into an angry busy signal. It happened three or four times the exact same way. Fifteen minutes or so later I called her landlady for the first time ever in all the years mom had lived there and asked her to use the spare key to let herself in and see what in the world was going on. That poor eighty year old woman found my mother stone cold dead on the bedroom floor. That began the night mare of my life. The extreme anguish of not being there. Not really knowing what was going on for hours until finally being called by the attending sherriff on the scene. Being an only child, with no real family members for help, except my husband of 18 years, I had to basically suck it up, fly to NY and take care of everything by myself. My husband stayed by my side for 2 months while we cleared out her house, look care of legal matters, had the funeral etc. etc. Without him,and his relentless sense of humor,I seriously doubt I would have lived through this. So now here I am , almost a year and a half later so full of grief ,it doesn’t even hurt at all anymore. I almost can’t describe it. I am a functioning person, who gets dressed and goes out into the world, who pays her bills, goes out with friends, and lives her life. But I am a Lie. All I want to do most of the time is die, and I can say that and laugh out loud at the same time. I am angry at all of the lying and I wonder sometimes how much longer I can keep this up before I throw my hands up in the air and say Ok world, you win! I give up. And sell all my crap and run off into the woods and live out the rest of my life in a cave. I guess her death has given me zero tollerence for the BS, in this world that BS is toted as buisness as usual. I feel the world is not a safe place at all, and the universe can do whatever, with whom ever it wants. All sence or feeling of safety is a lie. You can die, or loose everything at the drop of a hat at anytime. We lie about everything. We lie about birth, love, sex, illness, politics, and that evil prospers. It really does. and bad things happen to good people for no reason at all. You may say that I am angrey, and that is true, but maybe not for the reasons you may think. I had no regrets with my mother except I life planned and never lived. She was 73 and still working full time when she died. And I begged her all the time to please retire. She was going to move out to CA, and we were going to buy a house together and sit on the porch and drink coffee and tell stories until she died of old age in her bed. After I had written down all of my favorite recepies, all of our family history, planted a million flowers in our garden, and she enjoyed her retirement to the fullest. But that was never going to happen. ” One more year.” She would say, ” If I can hold on for one more year I will have a little bit more money in my retirement.” So she help on. And she died holding on. And the retirement never came. And when she died all of that money was lost. I didn’t even inherit it. And that just makes me sick in my stomach. And I did inherit some money from her death, but I would give it all back to have her with me. All of it.. every last penny. So now what? When I read about “healing” moving on, being good to myself, all of it sounds so cleche and simplified and trite. I am beyond angry, beyond grief, beyond moving on. And yes, I know I wont “loose her ” if I heal but I just can’t even understand what that even means or looks like.