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A Motherless Daughter Ponders Dating and Love

Posted on November 16, 2010 - by Lauren Muscarella

At 25, I realize the experience of losing my mother will continue to evolve as time passes. Even if I had spent every waking moment with her until the day she died, I would still be here. I have no mom to talk with about my romantic relationships. She loved giving advice, so I know she would have taken great pride in being my shoulder to cry on and my closest advisor. I try to find substitutes. My father is a big believer of, “when it’s right you feel it.” His idea is too rose-colored glasses for me. Giving my […]

Replacing Flashbacks With Happy, Hopeful Images

Posted on November 16, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

Several weeks ago I drove to a meeting with friends. It was an hour and a half drive and, to pass the time, I showed them my new affirmations book. This led to a conversation about loss and grief, one of those sincere, gut-level moments that rarely come along. “I was with my mother when she died,” a friend shared. This painful “photo” stayed in her mind for years and she couldn’t get rid of it. As time passed, however, the “photo” began to fade. “Now I think of my mother in her garden and cooking in the kitchen,” she […]

Stay Connected To Deceased Through Spirit

Posted on November 16, 2010 - by Sheri Perl

“Father, tell mother she has her son with her all day on Christmas Day. There will be thousands of us back in the homes on that day, but the horrid part is that so many of the fellows don’t get welcomed. Please keep a place for me. I must go now. Bless you again, father—Raymond.” From the book, “Raymond Or Life And Death” by Sir Oliver Lodge. When it comes to the holidays, everyone has his or her own way of coping, and there is no wrong or right way to do this. For me, however, there is only way […]

Share Your Memories With Family of the Deceased

Posted on November 16, 2010 - by Sandy Fox

Sharing memories after the death of a child can help the grieving family more than you’ll ever know. If you were close to a child who has died, there are many things you can do to help the parents and other family members. But the absolute best is to share precious moments you had with the child “I was so happy to hear my son’s name brought up at the Senior Honors Convocation as being on the football team that year as quarterback and scoring so many touchdowns,” a mother told me. “I had not known about some of the […]

Father’s Early Death Inspires Questions for a Lifetime

Posted on November 15, 2010 - by Janet Grimes

I often wonder how it went, that last week of his life. The accident was on Tuesday morning, November 14, just outside of Memphis, TN. Daddy was the passenger, taking his seatbelt off for a moment to get some books out of the back seat. The brakes failed. He went through the windshield, hitting his head on a tractor trailor parked on the side of the road. Mom tells me he never woke up. His head was shaved and swollen, his broken jaw wired shut, making him unrecognizable. Jerry, the friend he was supposed to meet for lunch that day, […]

Welcome Mat for Grief in the School Counselor’s Office

Posted on November 15, 2010 - by Karen Johnson

I had my back to my office door as I was pounding away on the computer, writing parent permission letters to attend a grief group. After sensing a presence, I turned and saw a student standing there, somber, yet alert and extremely pensive. “Hi, I’m Mrs. J.” I smiled, staying seated, somehow believing it was best for him to remain in a taller position than I was at the moment. Silence bellowed, yet no movement from the student. His eyes went to the floor and his body seemed to invisibly shake. The unspoken words continued but the body of the […]

Pieces of Me: Incorporating the Deceased into Ourselves

Posted on November 15, 2010 - by David Roberts

My perceptions about grief and the way we deal with loss has radically changed since the death of my daughter Jeannine more than seven years ago. Prior to Jeannine’s death, I grieved the deaths of other people in my life for a specific period of time and eventually returned to life, as I knew it. Ongoing connection to our loved ones as a way to negotiate grief was not a part of my grief vocabulary. I never viewed grief as a lifelong process that permanently changed the way we related to the world and transformed us as human beings. Finding […]

The Zen of Eating Cream of Wheat: A Journey Into Dementia

Posted on November 15, 2010 - by Stan Goldberg

As a bedside hospice volunteer in San Francisco, I always have the choice of whether or not to accept an assignment. Some, I immediately know are right for me, such as sitting with a man my age who was estranged from his family and desperately wanted to reconnect with them. With others, especially those with advanced Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia, I occasionally question whether the assignment makes sense—but not anymore. Joe was in this 80’s. His wife and son had died, and the only relative was a grandson whose schedule rarely allowed for visits to the care facility where […]

Lost my mother and little sister on the same day.

Posted on November 13, 2010 - by admin

We all were going to another city to spend our holidays on 12th June 2010. My dad was driving the car and stopped it at the roadside to receive a phone call. A 16 wheeler truck came from behind, lost its balance due to high speed n the sharp turn and tilted and fell on our car. My mother and 12 year old sister were at the backseat and i lost them instantly. I was trapped in the wrecked car for 4 hours fighting for my life. Me and my dad survived but this life now is not worth living. […]

Feeling Lost Around Thanksgiving

Posted on November 12, 2010 - by admin

My husband of 12 years died 10 months ago. I am looking toward Thanksgiving with much trepidation. My husband always baked and carved the turkey, who will do it this year…What have people done to cope with the holidays, any advice?