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Pieces of Me: Incorporating the Deceased into Ourselves

Posted on November 15, 2010 - by David Roberts

My perceptions about grief and the way we deal with loss has radically changed since the death of my daughter Jeannine more than seven years ago. Prior to Jeannine’s death, I grieved the deaths of other people in my life for a specific period of time and eventually returned to life, as I knew it. Ongoing connection to our loved ones as a way to negotiate grief was not a part of my grief vocabulary. I never viewed grief as a lifelong process that permanently changed the way we related to the world and transformed us as human beings. Finding […]

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The Zen of Eating Cream of Wheat: A Journey Into Dementia

Posted on November 15, 2010 - by Stan Goldberg

As a bedside hospice volunteer in San Francisco, I always have the choice of whether or not to accept an assignment. Some, I immediately know are right for me, such as sitting with a man my age who was estranged from his family and desperately wanted to reconnect with them. With others, especially those with advanced Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia, I occasionally question whether the assignment makes sense—but not anymore. Joe was in this 80’s. His wife and son had died, and the only relative was a grandson whose schedule rarely allowed for visits to the care facility where […]

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Lost my mother and little sister on the same day.

Posted on November 13, 2010 - by admin

We all were going to another city to spend our holidays on 12th June 2010. My dad was driving the car and stopped it at the roadside to receive a phone call. A 16 wheeler truck came from behind, lost its balance due to high speed n the sharp turn and tilted and fell on our car. My mother and 12 year old sister were at the backseat and i lost them instantly. I was trapped in the wrecked car for 4 hours fighting for my life. Me and my dad survived but this life now is not worth living. […]

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Feeling Lost Around Thanksgiving

Posted on November 12, 2010 - by admin

My husband of 12 years died 10 months ago. I am looking toward Thanksgiving with much trepidation. My husband always baked and carved the turkey, who will do it this year…What have people done to cope with the holidays, any advice?

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My Jimmy

Posted on November 12, 2010 - by admin

Just read your link about holding hands, I didnt realize until I read that – how much that is missed. We too always held hands and they fit just right….I dont think there would ever be another hand that will fit so perfectly. Holding hands helped me feel better, safe, and loved. Jimmy had a motorcycle accident 2 blocks from my house on may 13 2008 – he was in hospitals and nursing homes for a torn spine until sept 11 2008 – the day he came home after much therapy , he learned how to walk again with a […]

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The Shopping Cart: Disorientation Follows Loss of Husband

Posted on November 12, 2010 - by Carla Blowey

I spotted her from the parking lot as she dashed into Wal-Mart that afternoon. I hurried to the entrance hoping it was my friend. She stood alone in the main aisle, head slightly down. She hesitated, glanced left and then right, seeming uncertain as to which direction to go. Then, in a burst of decision, she pushed the shopping cart at mach speed, straight ahead. I recognized that push. I remembered that walk. I tasted that familiar curdle of anxiety in my throat again. I knew it had to be one of her first shopping trips since her husband died […]

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Families Crave Remembrance After a Loss

Posted on November 12, 2010 - by Nina Bennett

The fall and winter holidays can be particularly difficult for bereaved families. Marty Tousley is a psychiatric nurse and certified bereavement counselor. In her article, Getting Through the Holidays, she says, “Holidays can create feelings of dread and anxiety in those who are bereaved. The cliched images of family togetherness and the often unrealistic expectations of a season filled with picture-perfect, joyful gatherings can cause tremendous stress for those who are not grieving, let alone for those in the midst of the painful, isolating experience of loss.” The first, and most important thing is that it is perfectly normal and […]

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Veterans Day Brings Special Memories

Posted on November 11, 2010 - by Sandra Pesmen

This year Veterans Day, Nov. 11, marks the third anniversary of my husband’s funeral. And as I got ready to hang the flag out front, I recalled the special sensitivity and kindness of my consultant at Shalom Memorial Park and Funeral Home, in Arlington Heights IL. On Nov. 9 that year, as our family was dealing with the details of death, he telephoned. “Did  you say your husband was in the United States Marines?” he asked “Indeed he was,” I answered. “Well, since the funeral will be on an American national holiday, I believe the Corps will be happy to come to the cemetery to […]

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7 Tips for Helping Grieving Children

Posted on November 10, 2010 - by Jewel Sample

The leaves fall in clusters from the huge branches overhead laying a thick crimson-orange blanket over my yard. School has been in session for a couple of months now, and special family celebrations are fast approaching. Holidays, birthdays and other special occasions are a time when faith, family and friends are what matter most. Bereaved families with children have the challenge of redefining their family celebrations while grieving. It is not uncommon for families to question whether they should participate in their special occasions or just skip it. Non-participation and denying the surviving children an opportunity to take part and […]

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Grief in a ‘Drive-Thru’ World

Posted on November 10, 2010 - by Janice Ervin

I hugged my dear friend one more time, and began the gloomy drive back home to Delaware. The day was dark with torrents of rain. Blurred headlights passed to my left, while the traffic lights overhead valiantly flickered through the fractured glass that had become my windshield. With my heart aching at the loss of someone dear to me, the poor visibility mirrored how I now viewed life – through a distorted lens. It seemed as if the whole world was enveloping me in tears I was determined not to shed. A quick glance at the clock on the dashboard […]

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