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20 Tips to Manage Grief During the First Holiday

Posted on November 19, 2010 - by Barbara Rubel

What would the world be like without holidays? Each year, families and friends look forward to sharing these special times together. This is often not the case for the bereaved, especially during the first holiday after a loss. If I were to ask you what you needed this holiday season, what would you say? Just like you, I was brought up to believe that holidays are fun and joyful. But now that you are grieving, it can make the holidays a painful and exhausting experience. Take the time to find healing activities and appreciate your life. Look at what your […]

Does Choosing How to Die Make a Difference?

Posted on November 18, 2010 - by Stan Goldberg

If you could choose the way you will die, what would it be? Many people cavalierly answer “old age” or “in my sleep,” as if either of these answers will offer relief from an event they’ll do almost anything to avoid thinking about. But for some of us, the answers have less latitude and little humor. We have a better idea than most people what will do us in. In my case, it will most likely be prostate cancer, unless something else beats it to the punch. I often think about the deaths of patients I’ve served for the past […]

Holidays With Feeling (and Little or No Money)

Posted on November 17, 2010 - by Kim Go

Before my life partner Brian died, the holidays looked VERY different than they do now. Before Brian died, ample money was spent on transport, hotels, meals… and the children’s gifts. Brian loved to spend money on his children – they grew accustomed to nice gifts and activities. My financial limitations after Brian died were daunting. Doing the holidays with less – one less person whom you loved, less money, less energy, less decorating, less food – can be a really tough situation. However, I found that with little to no money, and targeted energy, you can still create “holiday feeling” […]

i not only lost my mother i lost my best friend

Posted on November 16, 2010 - by admin

i lost my mum 6weeks ago it was a acddent that was never ment to happen i feel lost confussed numb angry and words cant express how am feeling at the moment it would be good to keep in contact with people that are going thought the same as they will understand what am going thought

Deceased Daughter’s Recovered Letter is Invaluable to Mom

Posted on November 16, 2010 - by Kimberly Wencl

It was August 30, 2006, and there it was. The article on fatal off-campus house fires was on the front page of that day’s edition of USA TODAY. I had been so pleased to receive a call, some three weeks earlier, from a reporter working on the story. They had done extensive research on all the fatal off-campus house fires across the US since 2000, and the article would run just in time for college students who were moving into off-campus housing for the upcoming school year. It was everyone’s hope that this article would keep other college kids from […]

A Motherless Daughter Ponders Dating and Love

Posted on November 16, 2010 - by Lauren Muscarella

At 25, I realize the experience of losing my mother will continue to evolve as time passes. Even if I had spent every waking moment with her until the day she died, I would still be here. I have no mom to talk with about my romantic relationships. She loved giving advice, so I know she would have taken great pride in being my shoulder to cry on and my closest advisor. I try to find substitutes. My father is a big believer of, “when it’s right you feel it.” His idea is too rose-colored glasses for me. Giving my […]

Replacing Flashbacks With Happy, Hopeful Images

Posted on November 16, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

Several weeks ago I drove to a meeting with friends. It was an hour and a half drive and, to pass the time, I showed them my new affirmations book. This led to a conversation about loss and grief, one of those sincere, gut-level moments that rarely come along. “I was with my mother when she died,” a friend shared. This painful “photo” stayed in her mind for years and she couldn’t get rid of it. As time passed, however, the “photo” began to fade. “Now I think of my mother in her garden and cooking in the kitchen,” she […]

Stay Connected To Deceased Through Spirit

Posted on November 16, 2010 - by Sheri Perl

“Father, tell mother she has her son with her all day on Christmas Day. There will be thousands of us back in the homes on that day, but the horrid part is that so many of the fellows don’t get welcomed. Please keep a place for me. I must go now. Bless you again, father—Raymond.” From the book, “Raymond Or Life And Death” by Sir Oliver Lodge. When it comes to the holidays, everyone has his or her own way of coping, and there is no wrong or right way to do this. For me, however, there is only way […]

Share Your Memories With Family of the Deceased

Posted on November 16, 2010 - by Sandy Fox

Sharing memories after the death of a child can help the grieving family more than you’ll ever know. If you were close to a child who has died, there are many things you can do to help the parents and other family members. But the absolute best is to share precious moments you had with the child “I was so happy to hear my son’s name brought up at the Senior Honors Convocation as being on the football team that year as quarterback and scoring so many touchdowns,” a mother told me. “I had not known about some of the […]

Father’s Early Death Inspires Questions for a Lifetime

Posted on November 15, 2010 - by Janet Grimes

I often wonder how it went, that last week of his life. The accident was on Tuesday morning, November 14, just outside of Memphis, TN. Daddy was the passenger, taking his seatbelt off for a moment to get some books out of the back seat. The brakes failed. He went through the windshield, hitting his head on a tractor trailor parked on the side of the road. Mom tells me he never woke up. His head was shaved and swollen, his broken jaw wired shut, making him unrecognizable. Jerry, the friend he was supposed to meet for lunch that day, […]