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‘It’s Not Going to be OK,’ She Said

Posted on November 4, 2010 - by Robin Moore

Looking back on it now, the bright curve of my life turned gently downward after my daughter was born, fell sharply as my husband was diagnosed with a stage IV cancer, and waggled as we fought his illness for a year. After the second surgery, through the fourth and fifth chemo regimens, my line flattened into a basin. After he died, our hearts grieved the loss, and we struggled to adjust to everyday life. Caregiving and anticipating loss were, in a way, worse than the pit of grief. Adjusting and struggling for air in the year after his death were […]

Not Lonely, Just Alone

Posted on November 4, 2010 - by Chasity Glass

I’ve been feeling alone. Not lonely, just alone. I thought a new cell phone might connect me. A fancy ones with bells and whistles and sleek curves and soft touchable screens. I got bought her last week. She is my everything. My alarm clock. My calendar. My camera. My memory. My best friend. I even go so far as sleeping with her at night, tuck her underneath my pillow. She is just too little to spoon. I tried. Oh phone, what ever did I do without you? And she’s the smartest best friend. She can help me navigate through traffic […]

Missing Mom At Thanksgiving

Posted on November 4, 2010 - by Gloria Arenson

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It was my mom’s too. My mother was a wonderful cook. Her turkey stuffing was simple but memorable. In fact, my brother used to tease that he was going to make a stuffing sandwich with the leftover the next day. I think he really did. It tasted even better on day two. My mom died the day before Thanksgiving in 1979. Every year since that time, Thanksgiving has been bitter sweet for me. It is still my favorite holiday because of the family togetherness and wonderful feast, however it also reminds me of my mom’s […]

Healing Power of Dreams for the Bereaved

Posted on November 3, 2010 - by Carla Blowey

Have you ever had a dream that made you question your sanity, your morals, your desires or your fears? Dreams of being chased, going back to school, falling off a cliff or driving a car without brakes can be quite unsettling, and we quickly credit a wild imagination for such scenarios. For the bereaved, these universal themes merge with memories and images of our deceased loved one, creating strange symbols and bizarre landscapes that fuel the fires of grief. Carl Jung, turn of the century psychoanalyst, philosopher and spiritual seeker believed that our dreams were a spontaneous and symbolic depiction […]

Handling the First Holidays After a Loss

Posted on November 2, 2010 - by Edward Gray

Suffering loss of a loved one can be painful enough, but it is more difficult during holidays and special occasions. Missing your lost loved one is most keenly felt during these times. Your feelings are most pronounced when the event happens for the first time after the death, and, among grievers, these are sometimes called “The Firsts.” The “Firsts” You’re in the grieving process and Developing OK; But, things do change and you’re set back, When come the “special days”. For Christmas, anniversary, Or birthday…you’re aware; Such days bring floods of memories, You visualize them there. For any special fam’ly […]

Keep Thinking of Your Loved One Through Holidays

Posted on November 1, 2010 - by Kathryn Williams Raths

As the weather turns, many of us dread the thought of the upcoming holidays. Perhaps it marks another year without our dearly missed loved one. It forces social gatherings upon us and maybe even uncomfortable discussions regarding our lost loved ones. This year, my Dad’s birthday actually falls on Thanksgiving. I lost him to cancer in 2008 and my Thanksgivings haven’t been the same since. I realized this last year that I have to accept they are not going to be the same. It was time for me to let go of my expectation that my Dad will be there […]

Holiday Gift: Take Care of Yourself

Posted on November 1, 2010 - by Ellen Gerst

The holidays are almost here, and you might be sitting there and wondering, “How am I ever going to get though this time?” You may also be secretly thinking to yourself, “There is no way that I can possibly muster up enough strength or energy to make this a happy time for my children. God knows, it certainly won’t be that way for me.” Take heart; these thoughts may only be partially true. Although it can never be the same as it was, it is possible for you to experience a meaningful holiday season. It will just be in a […]

Returning to Work After Your Spouse Dies

Posted on October 29, 2010 - by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster

Returning to a job after a spouse’s death is a step that tends to be anticipated with eagerness, dread, or both, at different times. The workplace can seem like a familiar well-ordered refuge where you find many hours of distraction away from your pain. On the other hand, it can represent the ordeal of work pressures, coworkers’ reactions, and a boss’s unrealistic expectations. Here are some ways to make it through a work day while you’re grieving. Your Coworkers’ Reactions: While your private world has been drastically changed, your workplace has gone along in its usual way. You may, therefore, […]

Entering the Realm of Suicide Loss Survivor

Posted on October 29, 2010 - by Catherine Greenleaf

Confused, bewildered, hurt and ashamed, we enter the realm of the suicide loss survivor. We never intended to be here. We never asked to be here. Not in a million years did we ever dream things could turn out this way. But they have. Our faith may be shattered. Our hopes may have hit the rocky shoals. We may feel numb, split off, and like we are hovering over our own bodies. People are coming up to us and saying the most loving and comforting words. We may hear them. We may not remember anything they said. Some people are […]

Channeling My Mother’s Guidance

Posted on October 29, 2010 - by Lauren Muscarella

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was five but her infectious enthusiasm allowed those around her to forget she was sick. She dropped everything for me and constantly told me not to worry. She accepted her breast cancer and brushed it off so I did the same. Eventually, in the last few years of her life, she did start to look a little different but I pushed it so far out of my head that I did not see was right in front of me. A few months before she died, she started to actually look sick. She […]