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Thanksgiving Day Can Be Painful

Posted on October 28, 2010 - by Mary Jane Hurley Brant

When you lose someone you love, Thanksgiving Day feels burdensome and painful. When a brain tumor took away our precious Katie’s life, I dreaded that holiday. For seven years, we served no rutabagas because they were Katie’s favorite vegetable. The thought of their seasonal aroma wafting through our home without her in it was too much to bear. I don’t share this part of me today to make my readers sad. I share it because you are my extended family and I am yours. We are all fellow travelers. When we suffer loss we question if we will ever overcome […]

Find Pleasure in Music During Holidays

Posted on October 28, 2010 - by Tony Falzano

Believe it or not, the holidays are almost here. Very shortly, some of us will prepare a list of things so we can get ready for the season. It may look like this… Christmas cards? Check! Hanukkah candles? Check! Gifts for children, spouse and parent? Check, check, check! Though Hanukkah and Christmas are joyous occasions for most, they can be very anxious, trying times if you are spending your first (or another) holiday without a special loved one. Saddened with loss, you may struggle to participate in the season’s festivities. One way that can help you through this period, or […]

My Sister’s Murder: The Questions Continue

Posted on October 27, 2010 - by Shirley Wiles-Dickinson

On September 18th, my sister, Sandra, was found dead in her home. It was ruled a homicide later that day. Within a few days we had received the answers to two of our questions. When and How. The time of death was recorded as shortly after 9 am, when she was pronounced dead in her home. My other two sisters and I will always believe she died the night before, September 17. We also found out how she died. Stab wounds to the heart. Receiving those two answers were heart wrenching. Albeit they were answers we so desperately needed. The […]

Not Ready Yet for the Holidays

Posted on October 27, 2010 - by Darcie Sims

We should know better by now. It shouldn’t keep surprising us, but it does. No matter how hard we try, no matter what we do to prepare ourselves, it still happens. Year after year, generation after generation, it arrives without hesitation or delay. It stays too long and never lasts long enough. It is filled with anticipation and dread and we never learn enough and we know far too much… It is greeted with great joy and heavy despair. And it is always announced by the universal cry of “I’M NOT READY YET…” The HOLIDAYS are coming and I haven’t […]

Remembering Loved Ones During the Cold Season

Posted on October 27, 2010 - by Robbie Miller Kaplan

It’s wintertime for me, the most dismal time of year. The birthdays of three special family members and the anniversaries of their deaths fall within a ten-week period. I used to think the weather made this time even gloomier until I read an essay that changed my thinking. The writer’s father died in the month of July and the author shared that despite the sunshine and flowers, July is always a season of sadness for her. So how do we cope with these seasons of grief? I’ve learned that there is no right or wrong way to work through it. Grief […]

Beware the Ghouls and Goblins That Prey on the Widowed

Posted on October 27, 2010 - by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster

In the days and weeks following your spouse’s death, shock and exhaustion can leave you vulnerable to certain people who are difficult to avoid. Usually disguised as well-meaning family and friends, these creatures often unknowingly say or do upsetting things. Here are some tips for identifying them and protecting yourself: 1. Platitude Ghouls Spot them: Though well-intentioned, these creatures don’t think before spewing out insensitive remarks such as, “It’s all for the best”, “Aren’t you over it yet?”, “Don’t worry – you’ll find someone else” or “I went through exactly the same thing during my divorce.” Ward them off by: […]

Make Time to Grieve, and Celebrate, During the Holidays

Posted on October 27, 2010 - by Art & Allison Daily

When your heart is broken in grief, you’re not sure how you are going to get through the next day, much less the holidays. Holidays should be spent with the ones we love. It’s a time of celebration, of giving to those we care about. So, if your loved one has died, please don’t think I am in any way making light of the hole you must feel in the center of your being. I only wish to offer ways to honor and remember the one who is gone from your life. My brother committed suicide when I was in […]

The Last Dance: Lynne Ann DeSpelder and Heidi Horsley

Posted on October 26, 2010 - by admin

Lynne Ann DeSpelder and Heidi Horsley talk about Lynne’s book, The Last Dance at the annual ADEC Conference. Lynne shares about end of life.

Are Thank You Notes Necessary After the Death of a Loved One?

Posted on October 16, 2010 - by Catherine Tidd

I was brought up with a Southern mother who drummed into us the lesson that it doesn’t matter if someone gives you a diamond or a dandelion…thank you notes are a must. And for the most part, I completely agree. For whatever the gift or sentiment, the giver thought of you, took the time out of their day to give you something, and that action should be acknowledged. Even now, with my kids as young as they are, I have them write their own thank you notes. And I even have them write them to each other after a birthday […]

Creating a Grief Recovery Bucket List

Posted on October 14, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

Bucket list — a list of things you want to do before you die — has recently become part of American vernacular. The words have become part of American life as well. Writing prompts for bucket lists are posted on the Internet. Several websites are devoted to personal lists and many postings focus on travel. After losing four loved ones in 2007, I had lots of grief work to do, and did it. But there is more to do, and I decided to make a grief recovery bucket list. I knew my loved ones wouldn’t want me to get stuck […]