Open to Hope Articles

Articles Home

Grief in a ‘Drive-Thru’ World

Posted on November 10, 2010 - by Janice Ervin

I hugged my dear friend one more time, and began the gloomy drive back home to Delaware. The day was dark with torrents of rain. Blurred headlights passed to my left, while the traffic lights overhead valiantly flickered through the fractured glass that had become my windshield. With my heart aching at the loss of someone dear to me, the poor visibility mirrored how I now viewed life – through a distorted lens. It seemed as if the whole world was enveloping me in tears I was determined not to shed. A quick glance at the clock on the dashboard […]

Movie Triggers a Feeling of Missing the Old Life

Posted on November 9, 2010 - by Christine Thiele

Last weekend, we had a free movie weekend from some of the pay movie networks. I love this! I can watch all the movies I want and since I can’t afford pay movie channels anymore, it feels like such a luxury. Being a couch potato, I was looking forward to watching movies, a few cable TV series and just relaxing with my kids. So on Sunday, we were looking for a family movie to watch together. Marley and Me was one of the choices. My older son was worried about how sad it would be. I assured him it was […]

Set Boundaries During the Holidays

Posted on November 9, 2010 - by Catherine Greenleaf

The holiday times roll in, and suddenly it’s so easy for me to overextend myself. Parties with co-workers, lunches with friends, get-togethers with relatives — it all seems like so much fun in the beginning. Then I look at the calendar in bewilderment, noting that I don’t have an evening to myself for two solid weeks! It happens to all of us, but for suicide-loss survivors, there may be a tendency to overload to avoid the pain of spending the holidays without a loved one. Know that you can always cancel. You don’t have to be Superwoman or Superman during […]

Widows: Let Love Win Out over Fear

Posted on November 6, 2010 - by Michele Neff Hernandez

Five years ago when my husband died in a cycling accident, the last thing on my mind was finding a new man to love. Horrified by the unexpected jump from wife to widow, I struggled to regain both my sense of self and my will to live. When I first was able to entertain the thought of marrying again, I would be rendered mute when asked to utter the phrase, “till death do us part.” Those four words mean something completely different to me now that I know what parting actually feels like. As my heart slowly recovered and love […]

Thoughts As You Approach Your Own Death

Posted on November 5, 2010 - by Stan Goldberg

How do we “know” something? How do we know anything? Our primary sources usually involve written documents or the spoken word, with information ranging from ludicrously false to probably true. Yet, most of the time, even the most “objective” information has a slight personal twist to it, placing a layer between it and us. What we know in these instances is what another source has said about it. Our “knowing” gains more credibility if we personally have witnessed or participated in something. It’s one thing to say “I read it,” and quite another to say “I saw it.” Most of […]

‘It’s Not Going to be OK,’ She Said

Posted on November 4, 2010 - by Robin Moore

Looking back on it now, the bright curve of my life turned gently downward after my daughter was born, fell sharply as my husband was diagnosed with a stage IV cancer, and waggled as we fought his illness for a year. After the second surgery, through the fourth and fifth chemo regimens, my line flattened into a basin. After he died, our hearts grieved the loss, and we struggled to adjust to everyday life. Caregiving and anticipating loss were, in a way, worse than the pit of grief. Adjusting and struggling for air in the year after his death were […]

Not Lonely, Just Alone

Posted on November 4, 2010 - by Chasity Glass

I’ve been feeling alone. Not lonely, just alone. I thought a new cell phone might connect me. A fancy ones with bells and whistles and sleek curves and soft touchable screens. I got bought her last week. She is my everything. My alarm clock. My calendar. My camera. My memory. My best friend. I even go so far as sleeping with her at night, tuck her underneath my pillow. She is just too little to spoon. I tried. Oh phone, what ever did I do without you? And she’s the smartest best friend. She can help me navigate through traffic […]

Missing Mom At Thanksgiving

Posted on November 4, 2010 - by Gloria Arenson

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It was my mom’s too. My mother was a wonderful cook. Her turkey stuffing was simple but memorable. In fact, my brother used to tease that he was going to make a stuffing sandwich with the leftover the next day. I think he really did. It tasted even better on day two. My mom died the day before Thanksgiving in 1979. Every year since that time, Thanksgiving has been bitter sweet for me. It is still my favorite holiday because of the family togetherness and wonderful feast, however it also reminds me of my mom’s […]

Healing Power of Dreams for the Bereaved

Posted on November 3, 2010 - by Carla Blowey

Have you ever had a dream that made you question your sanity, your morals, your desires or your fears? Dreams of being chased, going back to school, falling off a cliff or driving a car without brakes can be quite unsettling, and we quickly credit a wild imagination for such scenarios. For the bereaved, these universal themes merge with memories and images of our deceased loved one, creating strange symbols and bizarre landscapes that fuel the fires of grief. Carl Jung, turn of the century psychoanalyst, philosopher and spiritual seeker believed that our dreams were a spontaneous and symbolic depiction […]

Handling the First Holidays After a Loss

Posted on November 2, 2010 - by Edward Gray

Suffering loss of a loved one can be painful enough, but it is more difficult during holidays and special occasions. Missing your lost loved one is most keenly felt during these times. Your feelings are most pronounced when the event happens for the first time after the death, and, among grievers, these are sometimes called “The Firsts.” The “Firsts” You’re in the grieving process and Developing OK; But, things do change and you’re set back, When come the “special days”. For Christmas, anniversary, Or birthday…you’re aware; Such days bring floods of memories, You visualize them there. For any special fam’ly […]