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Trees Symbolize Son’s Journey

Posted on June 3, 2010 - by Alice Wisler

“It was time to dig up the thin maple that died last fall and, like Daniel, did not bloom in the spring.” It was time. In an hour the November afternoon would be dark. With Baby Elizabeth in the stroller, we headed to our front lawn. Benjamin immediately began to run around, but my husband, David, seven-year-old Rachel and I stood beside the thin tree. Rachel held the order of ceremony that she had spent the afternoon writing. It was three pages of her own creation, the “service” for our family’s gathering that afternoon. Five members were visible to the […]

We Can Survive the Grief of Child-Loss

Posted on June 1, 2010 - by Cathy Seehuetter

I vividly remember April 19, 1995. My daughter Nina had heard on the news that something horrible had just occurred in Oklahoma City. She told me that a federal office building had been bombed, killing many people, many of them very young children. As the scene replayed itself on every station, Nina and I knelt in front of the television. We held hands and were motionless and hushed except for the sound of our occasional choking sobs. As we watched the horrific scene and the victim’s loved ones in their shock and grief, I distinctly remember my reaction. After saying a […]

Mourners Can Choose Happiness, a Gift to Themselves

Posted on May 30, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

The death of a loved one changes you forever. You mourn, determine your grief work, do the work, and try to build a new life. At least, these are the things I had to do after four loved ones died in 2007. Though I miss my father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law, my daughter’s death affected me the most. The pain has been unbearable. Coming to terms with multiple losses is a journey in itself. Reconciliation is hard-won and I had many times when recovery seemed elusive — a moving target I could not reach no matter how fast I ran. […]

Maintaining Emotional Fluency through Artistic Expression

Posted on May 29, 2010 - by Anne Hamilton

Last year, when the 30th anniversary of his death was coming up, I set out on a journey of healing…

What it Means to Grieve a Loss

Posted on May 28, 2010 - by Mary Jane Hurley Brant

When you open yourself up to love, you open yourself up to loss. When you suffer a loss, you will experience the painful emotion we call grief. It’s a natural response to loss, yet to the person going through this emotion, the experience feels overwhelming. I would like to help you understand that going through it means it is a process, not an event and, depending on the personal connection you have to person who has died, it is very individual. And yet, the grieving process itself is universal: we feel sad when we experience loss. Because we will all […]

How Grief Affects Your Body

Posted on May 27, 2010 - by Mary Jane Cronin

Changes in our lives can cause us to be stressed. Sometimes the changes are good ones, such as a job promotion or the birth of a child. Sometimes the opposite is true. You may be laid off because the company you work for is downsizing. Instead of the joyful experience of your child’s birth, you have experienced the death of your child. When the death of my son occurred, every facet of my life was changed from the tip of my head down to my toes. Cognitively or the way my brain thought about things was altered to the point […]

Deep Breathing for the Grieving

Posted on May 26, 2010 - by Tony Falzano

One of the most difficult side effects for those grieving the loss of a loved one is stress. Many of us already live stressful lives under normal circumstances. Add the element of losing a dear one, and in some cases, the bread winner, and our health can suffer more than we realize. In moments when we experience stress, breathing becomes quick, short and erratic. The result is not enough oxygen reaching the different organs of the body. People can become light headed. They can hyperventilate, faint or become sick. Consequently, the body stops running as smoothly as it was designed. […]

Whispered Words

Posted on May 25, 2010 - by Yvonne Lancaster

It has been nearly 25 years since my son Brian was killed by a drunk driver. He was 19 years old. We miss him terribly. Life has never been the same without him. When I use the word “same,” it conjures memories of my children playing in the back yard, watching Sesame Street, doing homework, off to school and church and celebrating their accomplishments, both big and small. It was a time where innocence and everyday challenges intermingled with hope. We had our dreams and plans for a bright and happy future. Brian’s tragedy was a significant life-changing event for […]

Mother’s Day, Before and After

Posted on May 23, 2010 - by Cathy Seehuetter

While sorting through boxes and bags, it is not unusual for me to find something unexpected. It happened just the other day. Shifting through a box, I came across a wrinkled, somewhat yellowed piece of lined school paper. I carefully unfolded it only to find a drawing of a stick-mom and stick-daughter standing along side a mammoth daisy. The mom and little girl were holding hands with huge lopsided grins on their faces. In her little girl just-learning-to-print handwriting were the words, “Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy. I love you, Kristina.” Even six years after Kristina’s death, little gifts such as […]

Mourners Surrounded by Sacred Moments

Posted on May 22, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

Ever since my daughter died from the injuries she received in a car crash in 2007, I’ve become more aware of the sacred moments in my life. Before she died I thought I was aware of these moments, but this turned out to be untrue. I was sort of aware of them. Other family members also died that year, my father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law. His death made my twin grandchildren orphans, and my husband and I became their court appointed guardians. I’ve had many sacred moments after my grandchildren moved in with us when they were 15 years old. […]