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Poem: These Golden Moments in Time

Posted on June 21, 2010 - by Louise Lagerman

These Golden moments in Time Are caught between the stars and the sky You will have yours and I will have mine These Golden moments in Time Are like delicate flowers clinging on the vine Once the rain comes, they will be hard to find These Golden Moments in Time Are like the tender snowflakes gently drifting to the ground Just to perfect to live or to stay around These Golden Moments in Time Savor each moment because they are fleeting For that you can be sure So innocent and magical they will leave you wanting more Each smile, each […]

To We Who Have Lost Our Fathers, Happy Father’s Day

Posted on June 20, 2010 - by Ligia Houben

A few weeks ago, it was my father’s birthday. Although he died 38 years ago, his memory is always in my heart. And it is in these days — anniversaries, birthdays, Father’s Day — that his memory comes to life again with more intensity, with more pain, with more emotions. It is in these days when we remember once more how much we miss our loved one. As the head of my family, my father was the source of strength and stability. When I lost him, I felt something of me had gone with him. For many years, I needed […]

Living the Loss on Father’s Day

Posted on June 20, 2010 - by Mitch Carmody

The dogs were barking strangely one early morning in July of 1970; I was 15 years old. I knew someone had probably driven up our driveway and was taking their time to come to the door, which was driving the dogs nuts. I was up early to get ready to bring my dog to the county fair as a 4-H project and was eager for the day. I went to the window and peered out to see who could be there this early in the morning. I then spied my Mom walking up with two neighbors close by her side, […]

Father Died Young but Left Lasting Legacy

Posted on June 19, 2010 - by Robbie Miller Kaplan

I see my mother everywhere. Though I never looked like her, I can now see a physical resemblance and so many of my qualities remind me of her. Not so for my dad. Everyone said I looked like him, but I no longer can see the resemblance. I never had the good fortune to get to know him, and he wasn’t part of my life long enough for me to emulate him in any way. My father died when I was eleven, and he spent the last year of his life in the hospital. While his death was devastating, my […]

OTH Writer Publishes Book, ‘Creating a New Normal’

Posted on June 18, 2010 - by Abel Keogh

Creating a New Normal…After the Death of a Child is the title of Sandy Fox’s new book to help the newly bereaved as well as the seasoned griever find their way through the darkness and into the light again to a life full of happiness and new meaning. “Learning to rebuild your life by creating a new normal is what most bereaved parents strive for,” Fox said. “This book is full of ideas from those who have been there, and using any of them will give you the practical and emotional support needed to help you learn to live in […]

Remembering Dad in Poetry

Posted on June 17, 2010 - by Edward Gray

Father’s Day in 2007 was one of the real highlights of the relationship I had with my dad. Mom had died in May, 2007. Dad was wearing out (he was 94), but hung on until Mom died. He seemed to be doing well for a couple of months after Mom’s death, but it was short-lived. It was right around Father’s Day of that year that we seemed to connect better than we ever had before. I treasure the time I had with him over those precious few weeks. He faded rather quickly in August and died in mid-September of congestive […]

Fear Stops Others From Empathizing

Posted on June 16, 2010 - by Kevin Quiles

After any significant loss, we feel empty, lost, and engulfed with indescribable pain. One grueling process in grief work is connecting our feelings and state of being with words. However, once we get passed this hurdle, something else surfaces. We learn quickly that people cannot fully understand. As a father who lost his first child, I know that feeling very well. Trying to educate a world what it’s like to lose a 5 ½-week-old daughter can prove exhausting. In this short article, I hope to universalize this common but unpleasant experience so that when a parent, sibling, friend, or faith […]

For Fathers, Loss of a Child Carries Special Burdens

Posted on June 15, 2010 - by Clara Hinton

Men go through all kinds of identity changes when they experience the loss of a child, especially a child who is older and has lived long enough to create established memories with his or her father. A man identifies himself by mainly two things: the job he has and the family he has. When a child is taken away by death, a man suddenly loses the largest, most important part of his identity. A real crises situation has been created, not just for the father, but also for role the father plays with the family. Fathers love to feel needed, […]

OTH Author Writes Publications on What to Say to the Bereaved

Posted on June 14, 2010 - by Robbie Miller Kaplan

VIENNA, Va., June 14, 2010 – When those around us face tough times, we’re often at a loss for words. We may fear we’ll say the wrong thing and stay away or, we may hurt someone unintentionally by saying or doing something inappropriate. Loss is very isolating and when we stay away, we may compound the loss. Everyone needs support if they are to fully grieve and recover. But what do you do when you’re truly at a loss for words? Robbie Miller Kaplan, a contributing author for Open to Hope, provides the tools you’ll need in How to Say […]

Cypress Tree is Evergreen Memorial to Daughter

Posted on June 14, 2010 - by Louise Lagerman

I was in the garden yesterday planting flowers around your tree like I do every year. I plant marigolds, your father’s favorite flower. He loves the strong yellow color and how they feel light and bright like you. When he planted the tree four years ago, it was so tiny — not much more than a twig. As I gaze upon your tree today I see a strong, tall, beautiful trunk, firmly planted, reaching for the sky. A beautiful cypress tree — that is what we wanted for you when your father planted your tree on that sunny but sad […]