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Ten Ways to Comfort the Grieving Heart

Posted on March 15, 2010 - by Kelly Buckley

Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts. ~Author Unknown I’ve been thinking about all of the different ways I have been comforted over the past eight months since my son, Stephen, died. I have been blessed, and surrounded by so many people who envelope me with love and protect my healing heart. Every day, I am reminded that I am not alone. And, with each reminder, I feel Stephen’s love. It is as if his essence was dispersed across the globe, and different people give me a little piece […]

Prostate Cancer, Research Funding, and Male Vanity

Posted on March 14, 2010 - by Stan Goldberg

As someone who’s living with prostate cancer, I applauded Louis Gossett Jr.’s testimony in Congress on the importance of prostate cancer research funding. If Congress was listening, maybe I’ll live long enough for something else to kill me. But according to the American Cancer Society statistics, I shouldn’t hold my breath. Fifty times more money is spent on research for breast cancer than is spent on prostate cancer. Does that mean there are 50 times more women dying from breast cancer than men dying from prostate cancer? Hardly. Every year 40,000 women die of breast cancer and 34,000 men die […]

Remembering ‘My Sister and My Best Friend’

Posted on March 13, 2010 - by Lyn Prashant

My beloved sister Donna was a gentle, loving, caring soul. She was my trusted confidant, my witness, my cheerleader, and my best friend. She died September 6, 2002, at age 49. Donna was was born three-and-a-half years after me. She was there for me, I for her. We were giddy and vulnerable with each other. I remember walking down the street with her, holding her hand, thinking about how lucky I was to have her as my very own sister. Our commitment and our sense of knowing one another was astounding. A glance into her eyes affirmed my joyous reality: […]

My Daughter Was My Hero

Posted on March 12, 2010 - by Mary Jane Hurley Brant

My daughter, Katie Brant, was my hero. She was given an overwhelming challenge which she met valiantly, fearlessly and always with a greater good in mind. I witnessed Katie’s bravery early on when she marched down the hallway of Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia toward the gurney for her first brain surgery. She was only 18 years old. As Katie waved goodbye, she told us not to worry because “God wasn’t done with her yet.” Katie was self-possessed, a character strength she consistently exhibited during the many years of daunting treatments, especially after she heard more bad news about her cancer. […]

Crying With My Ancestors

Posted on March 11, 2010 - by Alice Wisler

Sometimes I think you need a little of your own history in order to be able to understand history. I can’t remember never knowing about those relatives. They were on my Grandma Hall’s side, residing on the farm in Amelia County, Virginia. Patsie — we never call her Grandma — would sit at her oak dining room table, framed by the gold wall paper and talk about these people — Nonnie, Lou, Ralph and countless others, all making my head swim with Old Relative Fatigue. Although I had visited the country, fed the cows and had my picture taken in […]

Persistent Dreams in Grief

Posted on March 10, 2010 - by Marty Tousley

Question from a reader: It’s now been six months since my mother died. In many ways it seems like worlds and eons since then, but in some ways not at all. I really miss her and talking to her every few days, as was our old routine. The problem I’m having is that I dream about her almost every night. It’s never the same scenario, except that she’s always sick, like she was toward the end. Sometimes I wake up crying. This has been going on for pretty much the entire time since she died. Is this normal??? I think […]

Prepare Your Response Plan for Grief Triggers

Posted on March 9, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

Grief triggers – your deceased loved one’s birthday, the anniversary of your loss, and holiday festivities – are a recovery challenge. How will you respond? Will you continue to move forward with life or will the grief trigger stop you in your tracks? Worse, will you go backwards? I ask these questions when I encounter grief triggers. Tuesday of this week was the third anniversary of my daughter’s death. Though I was not sure how I would respond, I knew the day would be hard. So I pulled myself together, revised my response plan, and used it. First, I looked […]

Military Families: The Shock of ‘Killed in Action’

Posted on March 8, 2010 - by Kevin Quiles

One early weeknight, I accompanied military personnel to announce the most dreaded news that any family could receive. Once we arrived at the address, we walked up to the lighted front door and knocked. A few seconds later, the owner opened the door while blocking the entrance. We introduced ourselves and verified his name. Then the curious father learned that his son had been killed in action. The gentleman stood speechless. Moments later, his wife came down the stairs. “Who is it?” she asked as her husband widened the door for the curious family member to see the two visitors […]

Poem: Beginning and End

Posted on March 7, 2010 - by Deborah Tornillo

You were there I took my first breath. Knowing there would be many left. You were there I looked into my mother’s eyes. It was your plan never to be denied. You were there I took my first steps. You love me even through my missteps. You were there I cried my first tears. You exchanged them for joy many years. You were there Giving me the gifts of life. The joy of being a mother and a loved wife. You were there I told my father it was okay to let go. Breaking my heart, it was a devastating […]

We’re Strengthened When We Say ‘I’m Here’

Posted on March 7, 2010 - by Tony Falzano

I recently attended calling hours to support a close friend who had suddenly lost her cousin to cancer. When I arrived, I joined the end of the receiving line and proceeded to view the television monitor which displayed a memorial of the deceased. Several people behind and in front of me were quietly talking amongst themselves. After a short while, the line turned into the large viewing room. It was then that I noticed a young woman sitting towards the back of the room by herself. I watched as she slowly bowed her head and started to cry. She searched […]