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Pets, Grief and the ‘Bootsy and Angel Effect’

Posted on March 6, 2010 - by David Roberts

Many in our society do not recognize the impact that pet loss has on an individual. For many people, the loss of a beloved pet may be the first significant loss that is experienced in life. Pets see us through many significant milestones in life such as marriages, divorces, death and the birth of our children. They are and always will be sources of true unconditional love. Many times pets may be predeceased by other significant family members. When that pet eventually dies, we not only grieve the loss of him/her but revisit our pain of loss from those deceased […]

Should We Grieve?

Posted on March 5, 2010 - by James Einert

Should we grieve? The Bible says we should cry at birth and rejoice at death. So should we grieve? Webster’s Dictionary gives grief the following definition, “Deep and poignant distress caused by or as by bereavement.” It also calls it suffering. So should we grieve? First, let me say I believe there is a difference in sadness and grief. The above definition calls grief distress and suffering. To me this is much more than sadness. According to the dictionary sadness and sorrow are associated with grief. But I know from my experience when my mom died, I was very sad. […]

Poem: Holly Jolly – My Chihuahua

Posted on March 4, 2010 - by Deborah Tornillo

You were a tiny little angel Sent to me from the heavens above. You were a soft and cuddly ball of fur Filling my life with unconditional love. My Precious – Holly Jolly. Peanut and Gunner are not the same Missing you more with each passing day. They look around and go to the back door Hoping to see you just once more. Their Precious – Holly Jolly. God blessed us with your joyfulness Wagging your tail to greet us. He knew it was time to open the gates And, bring you home to rest in peace. Our Precious – […]

A Poetic Look at Men and Grieving

Posted on March 4, 2010 - by Edward Gray

My wife died of ALS; during her final 13 months, my mom and dad also died. It was almost overwhelming, and I learned more grieving than I ever thought I would. My most effective way of dealing with this was writing and the strongest feelings emerged as poetry. In the months following, I worked with others as I was going on my own grieving journey. How men dealt with things differently became all too evident. How they handled grieving can be summarized in three poems I wrote: WE TRY TO FOOL OURSELVES When we are grieving, often times, There’s obstacles […]

How to Maintain a Marriage After Child-Loss

Posted on March 3, 2010 - by Sandy Fox

Many couples who have experienced the death of their child may also experience a crisis in their marriage as a result. This untimely event can be an opportunity for growth bringing the two people closer together. The belief that a bereaved couple is doomed to divorce is blown way out of proportion. In fact, a Compassionate Friends survey has indicated that only 4 percent of couples who divorce do so because of the child’s death, that something else was wrong in the relationship before the child died. If the couple has always had a good marriage, typically that marriage will […]

Even the Worst Events Can Lead to Healing

Posted on March 2, 2010 - by Laura Klouzek

The sharp edge of grief came into my life when my son, Lucas, lost his life to cancer. It was a sudden, brief battle for him, and the beginning of a season of life I certainly did not wish to enter. The utter devastation that fills your world when a loved one dies is almost indescribable and for a time, it is also unbearable. Most people traveling this journey of life, death, and grief, just long for the pain to stop. Then we don’t want it to stop, because that will mean we forget, or it will mean we don’t […]

Dinner as a Widow: Don’t Carry Out

Posted on March 1, 2010 - by Sandra Pesmen

After my husband died, I began to eat “carry out dinners.” And I ate them alone, sitting on the couch in the den. Then one night, while I was standing in a Mexican restaurant waiting for my order, the man asked if I wanted the meal for “carry out or eating in.” I looked around and thought, “I deserve to eat in this restaurant with others, even though my husband died.” I said, “IN!” and then I sat down at a table. Other widows I’ve spoken to have had a similar experience. And they agreed that it felt so nice to finally sit down […]

Leaving a Place, Experiencing a Loss

Posted on February 28, 2010 - by Ellen Besso

Grief is multifaceted, and I’ve realised over the years that our society does not acknowledge many of its aspects. Along with profound grief the death of a loved one brings us, we all experience many other types of losses as we go through life. There are small and not so small daily losses. Perhaps our injured knee backtracks after we’ve worked for months to strengthen it; maybe we’ve had intimate relationships end badly; maybe we’re living one lifestyle but longing for another. We may not even realise that these are losses, or we may choose not to acknowledge them. In a […]

The Burden Basket

Posted on February 27, 2010 - by Debra Reagan

Recently, my adventurous younger sister embarked on a trip of the lifetime to hike Mt. Everest. A part of my heart went with her as she carried with her an angel token engraved with my deceased son’s name. She placed his token at a prayer wall on the mountain. My heart was also touched by the spirit of the people who helped carry her supplies on her journey. I listened in awe as she described the conditions these young men endured as they worked to provide for their families. Some carried far more than their own weight up the mountain in […]

Talking With Grandchildren About Loss

Posted on February 27, 2010 - by Gloria Horsley

“Grandma, why are you crying?” This was the question, as a six-year-old, that I remember asking my beloved Grandma Jensen as she cleaned out her attic. Among the treasures we found sorting through the bows and arrows, large magnets, and an ancient violin were a number of pairs of white cotton gloves. My grandmother, being raised in lean times, had learned to deal with lack and thus learned to make soap, bottle and can fruit, and sew her own clothes. “Grandma,” I asked, “what are those white gloves for?” That was when grandma teared up. “Honey,” she said, “they were worn […]