After my husband died, I began to eat “carry out dinners.”  And I ate them alone, sitting on the couch in the den.
Then one night, while I was standing in a Mexican restaurant waiting for my order, the man asked if I wanted the meal for “carry out or eating in.” I looked around and thought, “I deserve to eat in this restaurant with others, even though my husband died.”
I said, “IN!” and then I sat down at a table. Other widows I’ve spoken to have had a similar experience. And they agreed that it felt so nice to finally sit down in a restaurant and eat supper again the way others do.
When I’m “eating in” a restaurant, I chew more slowly, I take smaller bites. I put down my fork and look around and sipped my drink. There is a sense of relaxation I don’t feel eating at home alone.

Recently, I noticed a flyer on a Senior Center bulletin board announcing the next meeting of “The Supper Club.”  Each month, this group goes to a different restaurant in the area. The cost is about $25 per person including full dinner, tax and tip. But the pleasure of being at a “party” is immeasurable.

My widows group plans to participate in this Supper Club, and we thought every Senior Center should offer the same thing. Check and see if your neighborhood Senior Center does. If not, talk to the management and suggest it. You can determine any price point that suits your group.
That’s how important change comes about.
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Sandra Pesmen

Sandra Pesmen

Sandra Pesmen, host of, also writes the weekly DR.JOB column syndicated by Career News Service. A member of The Chicago Journalism Hall of Fame and The University of Illinois Media Alumni Hall of Fame, Ms. Pesmen is author of “DR. JOB’s Complete Career Guide,“ and “Writing for the Media: Public Relations and the Press.” A reporter, features writer and editor, this business journalist was features editor of Crain’s Chicago Business from its inception in 1978 to 1990, when she became corporate features editor for its parent, Crain Communications Inc. She also wrote the monthly Executive Woman column in North Shore magazine in suburban Chicago for many years. Previously, she was a reporter and features writer for the Chicago Daily News.

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