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Giving Away Stuffed Animals Eases Grief

Posted on December 9, 2009 - by Bob Baugher

On January 11, 2003, I visited my dad who was recuperating from pneumonia in a care center. That night, as always, we talked about the old days, something we loved to do. Sometimes the topic of conversation would be about how much fun we have had over the years winning hundreds (more like a couple thousand) stuffed animals from fairs by throwing balls into a bushel basket or bouncing coins into a glass plate. Even at age 80, Dad was still good at it. Only a couple months before, on his yearly trip to ‘Vegas, he’d won several stuffed animals […]

Dr. Annette Childs: A Journey From Loss to Healing

Posted on December 8, 2009 - by admin

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10mvPRotUoM&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Poem: Death

Posted on December 8, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

Why, do you show your face? Is it because it is cold outside Or, because the leaves have fallen Because, the snow is blanketing The ground with white crystals? Why? You visit often, just recently Taking a life, my father Then, you took my mother. Why just 36 days apart Did you show your face? Why? Now, you come back, and Knock at the door, once more Taunting, gripping, pulling Wanting to take another life Does age matter? Why? He’s just a simple man A man with many years Yet, he has little strength Yes, he’s tired, yes he’s weak […]

What to Say to a Grieving Person: There’s an App for That

Posted on December 8, 2009 - by Patrick T. Malone

I think one of the most frequently asked questions after a loss is, “What should I say to someone who is grieving?” My company has developed a product that might help with that. Some background: This past April, I wrote about the importance of acknowledging people who are grieving. Often, the fear of saying the wrong thing leads people to say nothing. From the bereaved individual’s point of view, this could be seen as uncaring or pretending the death did not occur. So I shared some excerpts from our book, “Cracking the Code to Leadership,” in the hope that it would help […]

Bringing Light into a Dark Place: Joining Inmates in Overcoming Hopelessness

Posted on December 7, 2009 - by Barbara Francis

I have been in and out of jail for well over a year. I’m not there because I’ve broken a law or violated probation. I visit the barb wired facility to bring hope into a very dark place. It’s part of my healing process after losing my best friend six years ago in a plane crash. Hopelessness is the unwanted companion I share with the jail’s residents. We have something in common. Jail sucks the light right out of the 120 female inmates. I, too, sat in darkness for years after the unexpected death of my friend Jody. The inmates […]

For Young Woman, Feather at Christmas is Sign of Hope

Posted on December 6, 2009 - by Megan Prescott

In 1987, when I was eighteen years old, my mother was diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia two weeks prior to Christmas. We brought Christmas to her in her hospital room that year in the midst of her chemotherapy, complete with a homemade turkey dinner. What I couldn’t have imagined then was that in eight short months my mother Nancy would pass, to be followed only three weeks later by my brother Adam in a car accident. In the months to follow, I thought a lot about a specific conversation I had with my mother mere days before her […]

Healing Grief through the Gift of Volunteering

Posted on December 5, 2009 - by Marty Tousley

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late . . . the love of our neighbor in all its fullness simply means being able to say to him, ‘What are you going through?’ ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson At some point in your grief journey, you may feel the need to channel your pain, as well as the time and energy once devoted to your relationship with your loved one, into something productive and meaningful through the gift of volunteering. As one who truly understands the grieving process, you may feel […]

Crossroads in Grief: To Hide or Persevere

Posted on December 4, 2009 - by Debra Reagan

To most folks, Aug. 6, 2005, was an ordinary day, but for me it became the worst day in my life. I woke up that morning expecting to celebrate my birthday; instead, I learned of my youngest son’s death. Despite the fact that I had many loving family members and friends, I found myself feeling isolated and numb. It took so much of my energy just to make it through each day that I had nothing left for anything else. I drifted through my days in a fog of pain over Clint’s death. There were moments that I was sure I […]

Connections to Daughter Abound Even After her Death

Posted on December 3, 2009 - by David Roberts

I still have a powerful relationship with my daughter Jeannine six-and-one-half years after her death. I believe that my relationship with her extends to other people in my life. I have been an adjunct professor at Utica College since January of 2003. I love my students deeply. They gave me energy when I had none, and purpose in a world that became foreign to me after Jeannine died. During the fall 2008 semester, I taught a Death, Dying and Bereavement class, and one of my students, “Jody,” shared an experience that she had during the semester. This is her story: […]

Who Burned My Roles? How Our Identity Changes After a Loss

Posted on December 2, 2009 - by Mary Zemites

Our roles in life define us. Parent, spouse, student, employee, sibling, and offspring are some examples. Our identity is shaped by these roles. Before my husband’s death, my defining roles were mother, wife and caregiver. With three young children and a terminally ill husband, these responsibilities took up the majority of my waking hours. When Greg died, that changed dramatically. In the aftermath of this loss, I naturally felt lost and confused. Much of this was due to grieving his absence. But, as time passed, I realized that I was also grieving the loss of my roles of wife and […]