I think one of the most frequently asked questions after a loss is, “What should I say to someone who is grieving?” My company has developed a product that might help with that.
Some background: This past April, I wrote about the importance of acknowledging people who are grieving. Often, the fear of saying the wrong thing leads people to say nothing. From the bereaved individual’s point of view, this could be seen as uncaring or pretending the death did not occur.
So I shared some excerpts from our book, “Cracking the Code to Leadership,” in the hope that it would help those around bereaved people express their compassion and respect in ways that were appropriate and respectful. While the main audience for the book is the business community, many Open to Hope readers have written to say they found the information in the April column helpful.
Recently, my company launched iPAR MindReader, an Apple iPhone app, that is mostly designed to help business people be better at connecting, influencing or inspiring their employees, customers and others stakeholders.
It has again occurred to me that some of the emotions found in business interactions are the same emotions experienced by bereaved individuals. Supported by Nobel Prize winning research, iPAR Mindreader gives tips and suggestions for a strategy to connect with any emotion and make every conversation more productive. Whether the setting is inside a business, with your family, or with a bereaved friend, iPAR Mindreader is designed to improve your ability to connect with others.
Here’s how it works: Initially, MindReader helps you identify Positive, Negative or Neutral points of view. Then it presents you with clues to determine the other person’s degree of positive or negative. Select the appropriate clue and MindReader provides insight into how the other person sees things at that moment in time with verbal and non-verbal samples to confirm your observation. Then the big payoff comes: MindReader suggests ways to connect with even the most difficult/negative person and provides samples of appropriate responses.
How does this apply to bereaved people? We know bereaved people are sad. MindReader suggests how to approach a bereaved person. For example, you first prove you are taking that bereaved person seriously (“It must be very hard…”) and then offer some help (“…so would it help if I sent over dinner for tonight?”).
Sadness, denial, fear, guilt, anger, skepticism, etc., are part of business of business and the business of bereavement. It would be wonderful for me, a bereaved parent, to see this app work in both situations.
In the event you are interested and have either an iPhone or an iPod, go to the Apple store, click on the apps section and search under iPAR MindReader. Any feedback would be welcomed.Tags: grief, hope