Hanging Up the Holiday Blues

Posted on November 24, 2009 - by Scott Mastley

I believe, maybe because it helps me heal, that my brother would want me to enjoy the holidays.  His car accident was in December almost 15 years ago, and that December date catches up with me each year.  I start to hide from the world around mid-November. I want to sleep more. I blink back tears watching sappy commercials. I don’t feel like working or working out at the gym. It happens right on cue every year, but it took me several years to realize it.  I just thought it was holiday stress.  Now I recognize it right away and know […]

Helping the Grieving Child in School

Posted on November 23, 2009 - by Linda Goldman

Children’s grief should be seen as an ongoing life process that is approachable through words, activities and non-verbal communication. Educators can use this understanding to create a safe environment for parents, teachers and children to acknowledge and process difficult feelings. So often adults rely on the prevailing myth that children are too young too grieve. When a child is capable of loving, he is capable of grieving. Yet many of today’s children are born into a world of grief issues that await them inside their homes and outside their neighborhoods. Boys and girls are becoming increasingly traumatized by these prevailing […]

Writing Poem Helps Woman Honor Mother and Granddaughter

Posted on November 23, 2009 - by Annette Gonzalez

My first granddaughter was born two months premature. My son and daughter-in-law gave her my mother’s name as her middle name. She weighed two pounds, six ounces when she was born. While in the hospital neonatal intensive care unit, all the nurses claimed she was feisty and eager for life. This was no surprise to me because she had my mother’s name. My mother passed away September 2006. She was a role model, a mentor, a confident and most of all she had a lust for life. I miss her every day but somehow I know that her spirit will […]

An Introduction to the World of Commissioned Songwriting for the Bereaved

Posted on November 20, 2009 - by Anna Huckabee Tull

Most people don’t even know that it is possible to commission a song, but it is. I have custom-created songs for individuals for twelve years now, and while I have composed and recorded songs for more topics than you can imagine (new baby, wedding song, a song to psych someone up to clean their office, a song for a tribe someone visited in Ghana, Africa) I have found, over and over again, that the area I am most drawn to compose for has to do with end-of-life. Sometimes people come to me because they are struggling with a life-threatening illness […]

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The Faces of Grief: Mourning Those We Never Knew

Posted on November 19, 2009 - by Stan Goldberg

Although there are many approaches to grief counseling, most focus directly on the grief we experience over the death of a loved one. But what about the unexplainable, and often embarrassing, grief experienced over the death of someone we never knew? The pop star whose life was unexpectedly ended, the child brutally killed by a pedophile, or the massacre of 13 young men and woman on an army base. I’m not referring to the normal amount of sadness felt when an great tragedy occurs. But rather that very deep sense of loss that is usually reserved for the death of […]

Ten Best Ways to Get Through Holidays After Your Spouse Has Died

Posted on November 19, 2009 - by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster

Dreading the upcoming holidays? If you’ve recently lost your spouse, the coming festivities can feel as unwelcome as Marley’s Ghost. Here are some tried and true strategies for facing the holiday season: 1)   Think ahead and try to anticipate how you’ll feel on each holiday. 2)   Even if you don’t join in the festivities, don’t remain alone all day. Spend some time with a friend. 3)   Considering your loss, don’t expect yourself to be as upbeat as usual. Expect some sadness as you take part in the festivities. 4)   To lessen the chance of emotional “sneak attacks,” make some time […]

Surviving the Holidays After Losing an Only Child

Posted on November 19, 2009 - by Kay Bevington

After losing an only child, surviving each day is so very painful and difficult for single parents, and holidays make it even more excruciating.  It may seem that there is no one with whom you can truly share the joy of the holiday.  Everyone else seems to have families who are intact and have a reason to celebrate.  The dark cloud of loneliness seems to pervade everything we do, everywhere we go, and even our inner self. We might want to rip the pages off the holiday calendar, go to bed and sleep away the days and nights that involve any […]

After a Loss, Answering the Question: Who Am I Now?

Posted on November 19, 2009 - by Alex James

Death affects and changes everything. The circumstances and impact affect not only the obvious areas of life but every area and simple tasks that used to be easily undertaken can seem enormous and just too difficult. Everyday activities can be exhausting and any activity can create deep anxiety. Many of my clients tell me that not only are they grieving the loss of their loved one but alongside that there is the loss of themselves. The loss of everything they thought they knew, the planned life the sense of security. Nothing in their lives will be the same again. These […]

Memories, Time, Grief and Healing

Posted on November 19, 2009 - by Bob Baugher

“How long has it been?” Bereaved parents are often asked this question. I ask it of you, “How long has it been?” Now answer this question: “How long does it feel like it’s been?” A common answer is, “On one hand it feels like yesterday. On the other, it feels like a long time ago.” Why do we experience our lives like this? How can something five or ten years ago feel recent and something that occurred last week feel forever ago? Let’s look at the concept of time and try to make some sense of it, with the added […]

Thanksgiving – Why I’m Thankful

Posted on November 18, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

As far back as I can remember my mother and father loved celebrating Thanksgiving. My father would tell us that this was his favorite holiday, simply because we were blessed as a family with good health and fortune. He was proud that we were able to still come together throughout the years and gather around the dinner table to give thanks to our Lord for the gift of each other, and the wonderful meal my mother had prepared. She spent days in the kitchen baking homemade pumpkin pies, preparing all the side dishes and then her famous homemade stuffing for […]