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‘I’ve Never Been a Crier,” But Now….

Posted on September 15, 2009 - by Nina Bennett

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.” Washington Irving Here they come again. I have no idea what triggered this waterfall. One moment I was driving to work, thinking of my schedule for the day ahead, and the next thing I knew, the tears were rolling down my cheeks. This is part of the new normal that is me since my precious granddaughter was born still more than five years ago. I’ve never been a […]

Grief and Degrief: When Theory Meets Reality

Posted on September 14, 2009 - by Lyn Prashant

On the eleventh day of September 2001, I awoke to a crisp northern New York state morning, the best of blue skies and an audible fall crunch in the air. I am New York City-born, so I remember those fall days well. I was in Rochester, N.Y., to present my work on the “somatic aspects of grief”. It was 9:01 a.m. as I stood in front of my class. It was my first presentation representing the University of Arizona and I was in front of 75 health care professionals. I began to introduce myself and the contents of my Degriefing […]

A Moment of Perspective…

Posted on September 14, 2009 - by Eric Tomei

Sometimes, it’s hard to put things into perspective becuase we are always so consumed about what we are feeling and how it affects us in our lives, that we don’t take the time to think that maybe somebody has it just a little bit harder than you. I was in a charity golf outing this weekend honoring one of our beloved family members, who I have written about earlier, who passed away from a 2 year battle with leukemia in March. Ironically, the golf outing was on 9-11 and it couldn’t have been more fitting since he was a police […]

Time Moves Differently When Dealing With Grief

Posted on September 14, 2009 - by Harriet Hodgson

Four months ago my daughter was killed in a car crash. Her sudden death on a snowy night stunned her 15-year-old twins and sent shock waves through the entire family. Many of us are still in shock. I know I am. One moment, I know my daughter is gone. The next moment, I can’t believe it. Nobody can grieve for me and I am working hard on recovery. But my grief flares when well-meaning friends say, “Last year was a hard one for you.” Last year? It has only been four months since my daughter died. When friends say this […]

When and How to Use Medicine for Grief

Posted on September 14, 2009 - by Richard Dew

It was a typical meeting of Compassionate Friends, the organization for parents who have lost a child. We were discussing what helped us cope with the death of our child. Joanna, a quiet lady who seldom spoke, suddenly blurted out, “I take Prozac. I couldn’t have made it without it, and I don’t care what anyone thinks.” After a few seconds of stunned silence, several others confessed to “using drugs.” As a physician, I have been uneasy with what seems to be an almost blanket disapproval of medication by support groups, psychologists and counselors. We are encouraged to cry, scream, […]

When an Employee is Grieving the Death of a Child

Posted on September 14, 2009 - by Patrick T. Malone

The Situation Businesses are accustomed to putting a price tag on lost productivity and increased insurance costs associated with conditions from diabetes to those from life problems including substance abuse and depression. For the first time, there is data available on the impact of grief in the workplace. The annual cost of grief from the death of a loved one is more than $37.5 billion. The grief following the death of a child is intense, long-lasting and complex. It is perhaps the most devastating loss a parent may experience and poses unique challenges for you, the employer, who is concerned […]

The ‘Inoculation Effect’ of Major Grief

Posted on September 14, 2009 - by Fran Dorf

My trusty Shorter Oxford English Dictionary includes this definition of the word “inoculate”: The deliberate introduction into the body of a micro-organism, especially in order to induce immunity to a disease; vaccination. In the fifteen years since my three-year-old son, Michael, died, I’ve found the idea of an “inoculation effect” a useful and even consoling way to think about my loss. I admit the analogy is imperfect, since no one would ever “deliberately” introduce an innocent to agonizing grief, or as I call it in my novel, Saving Elijah, “big time grief,” but I stand by it. So what does […]

Let Your Last Wishes Be Known

Posted on September 12, 2009 - by Yvonne Lancaster

Evelyn Rose was my mother. She was a devout Catholic born at the turn of the twentieth-century. She never questioned dogma, doctrine or the infallibility of the pope. She believed we were put here on earth by God for a short time and that our life was a test of our choices about good and evil. How well we did in our earthly trials determined our fate in the afterlife. She believed, with all of her heart, that the greatest peace and happiness one could ever imagine would be seeing the face of the Creator and reuniting with her loved […]

Trying Something New Brings Joy and Life to the Bereaved

Posted on September 11, 2009 - by Monica Novak

By Barbara A. Glanz – The following is an excerpt from Barbara’s book What Can I Do? Ideas to Help Those Who Have Experienced Loss: One of the ways we can help people to move on with their lives is to encourage them to do something different than they have ever done before. It may be to sign up for a class or try a new sport or join a new group. As soon as they take this step, as difficult as it is, it represents going forward in a new life. There is a fine line between encouraging and […]

Lesson One Upon My Son Leaving This Earth, Too Soon

Posted on September 11, 2009 - by Erin Krog

It is mid-afternoon, one week after my son went to heaven. I lay in bed. I cry. I am angry. I am a lost soul. My tears soak my pillow. I cannot face the world. My future seems to have taken flight to heaven with my little boy. My life doesn’t seem real. This is a bad dream. I am convinced that if I cry hard enough and long enough, God will see my pain. Then I will walk to my son’s room, look in his crib and there he will lay, sleeping peacefully … alive. When I was pregnant, I […]