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Trying to ‘Turn Grief Around’ After Brother’s Suicide

Posted on September 19, 2009 - by Art & Allison Daily

By Allison Daily — Does grief end? It’s a question that varies for each person and depends in part on the person’s relationship to the one who has died. The death of a child is different than that of a parent or grandparent. The death of a spouse is different from that of a sibling or best friend. Men handle grief differently than women do. I lost my brother Rod to suicide. I got the call, heard the gory details, and had to get my parents home and then tell them, “Rod has killed himself.” It’s been nineteen years since that day. I will […]

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Poem: Mom and Dad

Posted on September 18, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

Mom and Dad You taught me as your daughter The meaning of life, To stop and look all around me, To reach for the stars and Appreciate everything that life has to offer. You taught me as your daughter The meaning of love, To have compassion for others and myself, Listen, learn and understand Everyday is a gift of life. You taught me as your daughter The meaning of death, To brave its storm and understand That life is a full circle. You taught me as your daughter The meaning of life, love and death And, not fear them, but […]

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Poem: Remembering Dad

Posted on September 18, 2009 - by Julie Lange

These are the things you gave me, Dad, And these are the things I’ll prize… To find God in a field of corn And hope in each sunrise, To learn the greatest truths of all Seeing nature through your eyes. These are the things you gave me, Dad, And these are the things I’ll keep: A sense of soulfulness within And a faith that’s broad and deep, The pride that comes from a hard day’s work And the peace of a good night’s sleep. These are the things you taught me, Dad, And these are things I’ll treasure: That money […]

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Grief Journey Includes Parents’ Deaths, Husband’s Illness

Posted on September 18, 2009 - by Deborah Tornillo

I look back now and ask myself how I got through a year and a half of taking care of my mother and father, who were both diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at the same time. I will never minimize the courage and strength it took to parent my own parents. I will never minimize the courage and strength it took to be by their bedside holding their hand and watching them die, only 36 days apart of each other. Saying goodbye to my father simply taught me how to lose one parent. It did not prepare me for the loss of […]

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Pssssst . . . Your Pajamas Are Open

Posted on September 17, 2009 - by Connie Vasquez

Nobody could possibly have prepared me for what it would be like when my mom died. I’m barely able to describe it, seeing as how I’ve lost my mind and all. What I can tell you is what it feels like. It seems to boil down to, “You’ve completely lost my mind and that’s perfectly normal.” This is typically said to me by someone with a piteous tone and a pat on the head; and I’m grateful as I can be for the tone and the pat! The word that keeps running through my head is torpor (“a state of […]

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Creating a Memory Box with Kids

Posted on September 17, 2009 - by Jewel Sample

Here’s how to create a memory box to celebrate the life of your loved one. Invite your family and friends to join in too. Place any special memento inside that you and your loved one shared. Or write notes to your loved one about the things you would like to share with them about what you have been up to lately. Elephant Memory Box Prep Time: 1-2 Hours Grade Level: Pre-K & up Collect Materials 1 plastic coffee can 1-roll of gray duck tape 2-rolls of colored duck tape 1-empty paper towel roll or 2-empty toilet paper rolls Scissors Magic […]

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Poem: I Dream

Posted on September 17, 2009 - by Jewel Sample

I Dream Like a ripple in a pond, A whisper in the wind, I dream of how things might have been. Your boyish grin Your manly cleft shaped chin Your chubby cheeks Your soft blue eyes Are dreams of days and weeks gone by. Your first little giggle, Your toes that you wiggled Are memories that whisper now and then. Like a ripple in a pond, A whisper in the wind, I can not help but cling to what you might have been. Watching you take your first step as you eye your favorite toy to get. Would it have been […]

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Keeping and Sharing Memories of Our Babies

Posted on September 17, 2009 - by Monica Novak

When my friend Dawn was pregnant with triplets, due the following June, her husband Andy wanted to surprise her with a special piece of jewelry for Christmas.  He had no idea what to get, so the sales lady helped him pick a stone.  “Get her an amethyst because it’s purple, for royalty, and your wife should be treated like a queen,” she said smiling. The triplets never made it to June.  They were born prematurely in February and died within three days of birth.  Dawn had chills the day she realized the bracelet Andy had bought her contained the triplets’ […]

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Rituals

Posted on September 16, 2009 - by Sandy Fox

by Sandy Fox Rituals are part of life. When your child dies, they become even more important. For myself, I have a few rituals I follow to honor and remember my daughter. Today will be one of them. Each time I leave town for more than just a weekend, as I will very soon, I go to the cemetery to see Marcy and clean off her grave. It makes me feel good. No one else cleans it like I do, and I always want it to shine and look good in case others come by to visit and pay their […]

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The Antique Iron Bed, a Source of Comfort

Posted on September 16, 2009 - by Harriet Hodgson

When my husband and I were first married, we didn’t own any furniture.  We lived in furnished apartments for a few years and purchased a home when my husband was a resident at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.  Residents don’t make much money and our house was furnished with hand-me-downs.  My mother and father-in-law gave us an antique, wrought-iron bed to help out. The bed was white and had small, fleur-de-lis decorations.  These were nice, but the most unusual part of the bed was the mattress, which had a picture of a bed bug in the middle and the words […]

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