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Woman Nervous About Dating Widower

Posted on February 27, 2009 - by Marty Tousley

Question from a reader: I’m at the very beginning of a potential relationship with a guy who I’ve reconnected with after many years (we knew each other in high school). His spouse of 27+ years passed away four months ago, after a very long (21 years) battle with Multiple Sclerosis. He still grieves for her at times when he’s reminded of her, but he is moving on with his life. I’m nervous about getting involved with him too soon. He says he started grieving his loss of her before she even died since she’d been bed-ridden for two years, and […]

Managing Loneliness After a Loss

Posted on February 27, 2009 - by Stan Popovich

By Stanley Popovich — Some people have a difficult time managing loneliness after a death of a loved one. Here is a short list of techniques that a person can use to help deal with loneliness. First, find an activity that you enjoy and where you can meet a lot of people. For instance, join a group activity such as a volleyball club, women’s club, or crafts class. Doing something that you enjoy increases your chances of making friends while you participate. Second, spend time with animals. If you don’t own a pet, then volunteer at a local animal shelter. […]

Film Review: Changeling

Posted on February 27, 2009 - by Anne Dionne

Reviewed by Anne Dionne — My favorite grief-themed movie is one which I’ve seen in recent weeks, “Changeling.” The movie is based on a kidnapping and murder case which was uncovered in Los Angeles in 1928. Clint Eastwood directed this film. The cast includes Angelina Jolie, Jeffrey Donovan, Jason Butler Harner, John Malkovich, Michael Kelly, and Amy Ryan. Christine Collins (Angelina Jolie), a divorcee, left her 9-year-old son Walter home alone one day. She felt that she had no choice-as a single mom, she was the bread winner. Christine prepared lunch for Walter before leaving for work that morning. After […]

Myth Conceptions of Parental Grief

Posted on February 26, 2009 - by Monica Novak

by David Hurley – Over the past several years I have heard several people make ridiculous and shocking statements regarding parental grief. Most of the time they think they can help, and usually they are well meaning folks. They are comfortable in their ignorance of the realities associated with the loss of a child. Many of the statements have been heard from more than one source so they are common “knowledge.” Those inexperienced in this loss have accepted this conventional “wisdom.” They want to share it with everyone because it somehow seems logical. I call these beliefs “mythconceptions.” They are […]

Widow-to-Be Thinking Beyond Husband’s Death

Posted on February 26, 2009 - by Marty Tousley

By Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT, DCC Question: My husband has advanced-stage lung cancer, and I have to face the inevitable that he will die soon. It’s been 8 months; we’ve been married for 20 years. I’m sure that it’s normal, but the thoughts that are running through my head are driving me insane. I keep envisioning myself starting relationships with other men. I feel guilty like I’ve already moved on with my life. It’s survival instinct too, because I can’t support my kids on my own and I’m trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my […]

Caregiver’s Support Group

Posted on February 25, 2009 - by Carol O'Dell

I have to admit that I didn’t attend a caregiver support group while I was caring for my mom. Not everyone is the “group” type. I started full time caregiving back in 1998 and honestly, I didn’t even know caregiving support groups existed. I had decided that I wasn’t going to go and talk about my mother! Yeah, I’m stubborn. By the time I figured out my way in “caregiving land,” my mom was pretty far along. It’s not that I didn’t need a support group. I’m sure my friends were sick of my griping and whining. But honestly, what little energy […]

Nurse Dispels Myths about Transplantation

Posted on February 25, 2009 - by Reg Green

By Reg Green — Although Charlette Thompson has looked after cardiac patients in intensive care units in Lexington, Kentucky, hospitals since the 1980s, she has never become accustomed to sudden death. After all these years there is shock in her voice when she describes it. “They’d be looking at you, talking to you, and the next second, the very next second, they’d be gone.” Charlette went into the ICU by choice. “I wanted to take care of the sickest patients,” she says. “But seeing so many deaths made me want to do more than keeping the dying comfortable.” About that […]

Shadow of Grief Still Lurks, 20 Years Later

Posted on February 23, 2009 - by Robert Thompson

By Bob Thompson — Although we know that after a loss the acute state of mourning will subside, we also know we remain inconsolable and will never find a substitute. No matter what may fill the gap, even if it is filled completely, it nevertheless remains something else. And actually this is how it should be. It is the only way of perpetuating that love which we do not want to relinquish. — Sigmund Freud This year marked a milestone regarding my son’s death that I noted but did not celebrate. This year was the year that Paul has been […]

Why We Read and Write Our Grief Stories

Posted on February 22, 2009 - by Richard Beck

By Richard Beck As I ponder what to write in my first article for the Open to Hope Foundation, I imagine what it feels like to read about the universal challenges that face us after we experience a loss. Loss is universal in that death is inevitable for all of us. Some losses leave us without words to describe the pain, the hurt, the rage, the sadness, and the grief that engulfs our souls. As a fisherman, I know that the ocean, Mother Nature herself, has no compassion and no conscience. When storms occur, good sailors can die. What is […]

February Calls Us to the Love Side of Life

Posted on February 22, 2009 - by Mary Jane Hurley Brant

By Mary Jane Hurley Brant — The month of February focuses our attention on love. Cards are bought, candy is given, kisses abound. So what is it about love? We simply cannot get enough of it. “I love you” and “I’m in love with you.” Is there a difference? Yes. “I’m in love with you” has more infatuation and projection attached, and “I love you” has more of day-to-day companionship attached. Each has its mystery. Mystery, by definition, cannot be completely understood. I like the word mystery because it elevates a subject. Anthropologist, Dr. Helen Fisher, writes that mystery is […]