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How to Release Guilt After Loss of a Child

Posted on May 10, 2023 - by Catherine McNulty

Mother’s Guilt is Inevitable After the loss of a child, a mother’s guilt is inevitable. There may be things she wishes she had done. There may also be things she wishes she hadn’t done. She may have made serious mistakes that carried grave consequences. She likely feels guilty. If you feel guilt, too, you know what I mean. In the weeks and months after losing her child, a mother often struggles to be patient with herself. She struggles to forgive herself. She experiences the emotional torture of never knowing if her actions could have changed anything. The uncertainty haunts her […]

Putting Your Grief Wisdom to Work

Posted on May 8, 2023 - by Colleen Friesen

People living with the loss of a significant relationship often find themselves buried beneath avalanches of advice and information. Additionally, when we suffer, we tend to seek out material that will help us cope. There is an abundance of wisdom right here at Open to Hope! Throughout this website, you will find incredible gems of wisdom. Some time ago, I began working on a book on grief I hope to publish one day. As I organized my outline, I was reminded of all the wisdom I had discovered in my own grief journey and was encouraged to put it back […]

The Decade Difference: Ten Years After a Suicide

Posted on May 8, 2023 - by Maggie Bauer

The Difference in a Decade In the beginning, I didn’t know how I was going to survive to the next day. My first thought when I awoke was, oh no my brother is dead. The physical heartache, tears, lethargy, fatigue, loss of concentration followed; my body even forced me to stop eating gluten and dairy. There was a deep heaviness within me and how I saw the rest of the world. Some days it felt like a depressive cloak over me that I couldn’t remove. As time moved forward, Chris’ death day — the 22nd of each month — protruded […]

My Adult Son’s Death Has Changed My Life

Posted on May 7, 2023 - by Basia Mosinski

Son’s Death Has Changed My Life When someone we love dies, we are changed. When that someone is our child, we are changed forever, deeply, no matter how old they were. Letting go is not a possibility. Everything in my being was geared to hold on, to protect and to be aware of his life. It didn’t matter that he was an adult, twice the size of me. Past, present and future collapsed into a series of nows. This event shook me to my core. I have lost parts of myself. How can this happen? Where did he go? Where […]

Does Everything Happen ‘For a Reason’?

Posted on May 2, 2023 - by Greg Adams

Does Everything Happen For a Reason? Somewhere in adolescence, certainly before young adulthood, I heard the saying, “everything happens for a reason.” It seems like I’ve always known this phrase. It is very common and obviously a powerfully meaningful and comforting phrase for many. But not for all. For some of us, it ranges from empty to offensive to somewhere in-between. If you are a grieving one who has found a reason, or more than one, for your loss, all support to you. If you are a grieving one for whom no reason has been or will be found for […]

Finding Purpose During Grief

Posted on April 30, 2023 - by Colleen Friesen

When someone we love leaves this world ahead of us, we are left feeling lost and confused. We grapple to find ways to make sense of what has happened. Finding a purpose or torch we can carry onward is one of the most powerful ways to cope with grief. Igniting Your Torch As those left behind, still living out the life we came here to live, we can get lost in despair. I often find my thoughts taking sad, dark paths of doubt. I wonder to myself, ‘what is the point?’ We struggle through life, trying to have a positive […]

Positive Attitude and Faith in Grief

Posted on April 27, 2023 - by Dr. Carol Leibovich Mankes

Positive Attitude Little did I know that my life experiences would bring me to the understanding of the utmost importance of solid, loving, supportive parenting and its role in a child’s future resilience. These realities also taught me the meaning of self-reflection and facing life with a positive attitude and faith. My journey began in Israel. I was born in Israel to Argentinian parents who fought tooth and nail to give my brothers and me a good life. It wasn’t easy living in a country where war/peace was a constant topic. At times, sirens signaled to hide in the building […]

Healthy Baby Brings Joy After Losses

Posted on April 25, 2023 - by Ken Lefkowitz

Healthy Baby Brings Joy After the death of two babies, my wife Sheila gave birth to a healthy baby boy. “Wow, he’s just great,” I told Sheila as I leaned over her hospital bed to kiss her on the forehead. She was in pain from the C-Section incision, but this time happiness enveloped her, diminishing any discomfort. “I was able to suit up in whites and special sanitized gloves. In these, I can enter the Infant Intensive Care Unit. I’ve held his hand and touched his face through special holes in the side of his clear plastic covered crib. Doctor […]

Wise Old Owl: Daughter’s Favorite Stuffed Animal

Posted on April 24, 2023 - by John Beerman

Wise Old Owl Most every morning, after I brew my half-caf coffee, I make my way to our second-story porch overlooking massive oak tress in our back yard. A brackish creek meanders beyond the trees, hidden from view. It harbors Florida wildlife, red cardinals, blue jays and finicky squirrels scampering about in search of acorns from the oaks. And then there is the grey owl, whose distinctive call is not a hoot, but more of a “coo “, a very loud coo. Hearing her “coo” gives me an eerie sense of mystery and awe. I relish my time on our […]

Making Good Things from Grief

Posted on April 20, 2023 - by Harriet Hodgson

Making Good Things from Grief When my husband John died, I didn’t know how to go on living. Rather than existing, I wanted to flourish and savor life. That meant setting new goals, working for them, and reaching them. I wanted my living loved ones, and John, to be proud of me. Creating a new life took gumption, and I had it. Grief could have a better outcome if I let it. I could learn from grief and use my experience to help others. Judy Tatelbaum, author of The Courage to Grieve, thinks grieving people need to make good from […]