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Reflections of a Bereaved Dad, Part 5: Measures of Love

Posted on June 24, 2007 - by Patrick T. Malone

As many of you have been or are currently, I was consumed with the question WHY? I needed to make some sense out of these tragedies. Why was Scott, a normal full term baby, only to experience difficulties during labor and expire after only 16 hours of life? Why was Erin miscarried? Why did the truck turn in front of Lance? Why was Lance going too fast to stop? Why wasn’t he going a little faster so he could have avoided the accident? Why did this happen to us? Why were we being punished? I read everything I could get […]

Reflections of a Bereaved Dad, Part 4: Grieving Together

Posted on June 23, 2007 - by Patrick T. Malone

I believe that early on, I reached an intellectual understanding that my wife and I were dealing with grief differently. When I was up, she was down. When I was down, she was up. When she needed company, I needed to be alone and vice-versa. I sort of knew that but it didn’t really sink in until a number of months down this road. Most Friday nights we try to have dinner out. So on this particular Friday evening we’re in the middle of dinner and Kathy tells me that I don’t seem to talk about Lance as much as […]

Reflections of a Bereaved Dad, Part 3: Asking for Help

Posted on June 22, 2007 - by Patrick T. Malone

I went back to work a couple of weeks after Lance’s death. I was very fortunate to have a caring and compassionate work environment. My partners and associates covered for me while I was off. When I returned they asked me how Kathy was doing. They spoke Lance’s name. They asked how his brothers, Bryan and Sean, were holding up. They talked about the accident. They offered any assistance my family needed. I was back to work for a couple of months when one of my partners came into my office, closed the door and said, “We are very sad […]

Reflections of a Bereaved Dad, Part 2: You Are Not Alone

Posted on June 21, 2007 - by Patrick T. Malone

Three or four weeks after Lance’s funeral we received an information packet from The Compassionate Friends (TCF). When I came home Kathy told me about the information and how it was a support group for bereaved parents and how she wanted to go to a meeting. I’m listening but honestly I’m thinking that this is the last thing I need. I don’t do support groups. Heck I don’t ask for directions when I driving, what makes you think I’m going to a support group meeting. However, I know Kathy is in no shape to go alone so reluctantly I go. […]

Reflections of a Bereaved Dad, Part 1: Transform Misery into Treasured Remembrances

Posted on June 20, 2007 - by Patrick T. Malone

It’s hard for me to believe that March of this year was Lance’s 37 birthday and it will be 12 years this May since he died. It has been even longer for Scott and Erin. As I look back I realize that the passage of time provided some help but other influences in the form of people, events and organizations have had an even greater impact on my journey. So I would like to share some reflections that have helped me with the intent that you might find another piece of the map that may give you hope and help […]

Surviving the Murder of a Child

Posted on June 19, 2007 - by admin

Note:?Below is an email?dialogue that can be helpful to many.?Sharon’s comments are in regular type and Dr. Gloria’s response is in bolded italics.?? Hi Dr. Horsley, My name is Sharon and I live in St. Louis Mo.? I am a survivor of a daughter, murdered in March, 2000. Her name is/was Cara’.? ?First, I want you to know I am sorry for your loss.? Losing a child is devastating. I am in the process of doing a research paper on Bereavement – The Aftermath of Homicide.? However, I am researching the question on the grieving process – Is there a […]

The Lessons of Father’s Day

Posted on June 19, 2007 - by Norman Fried

Norman Fried – June 16th, 2007 In the weeks and months after the September 11, 2001, attacks on the World Trade Center, many New York newspapers published intimate articles about men who lost their lives on that fateful day. In reading their obituaries, I was moved by a common theme that ran throughout: Many of the victims were fathers who left little children behind. It is now five and one half years since the tragedy that changed the lives of all Americans. Many of the mourners have re-married; many of the children have inherited new father-figures. But their connection to […]

You Are Invited to be a Participant in a TV Documentary

Posted on June 18, 2007 - by admin

What is it? We’re conducting a nation-wide search for real families of all sizes, ethnicities, economic and religious backgrounds that are willing to share their ‘secrets of success’ for a new documentary television series entitled: Real Families Real Answers In the show, your real family could be featured with the experts to illustrate what families across the country are doing to not only survive, but thrive in today?s fast paced and ever changing society.

Recovering From My Daughter’s Sudden and Tragic Death

Posted on June 18, 2007 - by Harriet Hodgson

Grieving is hard work. It is really hard for me because I am grieving for three loved ones at once — my daughter, who was killed in a car crash, my father-in-law, who succumbed to pneumonia, and my brother who died of cancer. All of these deaths were painful, but my daughter’s death was the worst of all. Relatives and friends rallied to help me. Their support lasted for weeks and then it began to fade. Psychotherapist Judy Tatelbaum writes about this response in “The Courage to Grieve.” People start to pull back, she explains, “as if the time for […]

Sunday is Father’s Day: How will you spend your day? Let us hear from you.

Posted on June 15, 2007 - by admin

Father’s Day is coming up this Sunday.? We know?for some dads this will be a difficult day.? We know for many there might be feelings of loss and sadness.? Dad’s are?people who like to fix things and losing a loved one cannot be fixed.? As with any holiday we would suggest that you plan your day.? You might want to plan a project like planting a?tree or writing a letter to your child on this special day.? Remember that if you have other children in the family they will be excited about honoring their dad so?take in the?love that they […]