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Digging Deep: Finding Comfort after Husband’s Death

Posted on October 5, 2022 - by Joni Sensel

A Sudden Death Tony’s body is stretched on our living room floor. I hunker over my knees on the stepstool in the kitchen, trying not to see his husk from the corner of my eye. Our small house offers nowhere that could hide his departure, and besides, I need to be here near the floor. Where it’s hard to fall down. The floor now unites us. I consider slipping down to the cold laminate, curling into myself there. Its chill seems inviting. But I don’t want to make the volunteer paramedics any more uncomfortable. They’d tried hard. For an hour. […]

When a Nation Grieves its Own Actions

Posted on October 3, 2022 - by Colleen Friesen

Statement of Intent Before I begin, I want to express that I am approaching this topic with a heart of love, respect, acceptance, and hope. I ask the Creator to guide my thoughts. My intention is to aid awakening by making more people aware of Canadian Truth and Reconciliation Day. I acknowledge that I cannot claim to understand the experience of Aboriginal Peoples who have been removed from their land. My message to those who suffer the agonies of inequality is that I accept you, I value you and I am open to share your pain. I also ask you […]

No Recipe for Grief

Posted on October 1, 2022 - by Judy Lipson

No Recipe for Grief I reread the rabbi’s eulogy from my sister Jane’s funeral. He had said, “There is no satisfactory answer to understanding why bad things happen to good people. Not all questions have answers. Unanswered ‘whys’ are a part of life. The way to face tragedy is with love. Use the love we had for Jane to forgive ourselves.” Focusing on his words helped me knock down roadblocks to forgiving myself. Regrets was another word associated with forgiveness. I had so many regrets I could have built a house of them. Why didn’t I reach out to someone? […]

Month Five Worse Than First One

Posted on September 30, 2022 - by Nathan Peterson

Month Five is Worst I’m sure there is a book somewhere that says Month Five after the death of a child is worse than Month One. I’m also sure reading it wouldn’t make any difference. This week, I have turned into a hateful angry person. I have blown up at home multiple times. Everything my wife Heather says hits me wrong. I’m embarrassed that my kids have seen me this way. Not to mention Heather, and probably some neighbors. I feel myself becoming someone I don’t respect. It feels like there is nothing I can do about it, just like […]

Six Months Later, Memories Don’t Fade

Posted on September 29, 2022 - by Nathan Peterson

Six Months Later Today is six months since our daughter Olivia died. It is still so hard to comprehend, staring at this grave, that her body is just a few feet beneath the new grass now growing. Waves of sadness still hit me like a wall when I see a picture of her. I still feel an irresistible urge to touch my phone screen when a photo of her pops up. I still feel the dull ache of loss, the emptiness she left, and it physically hurts. It destroys our bodies. We are walking through these days with feet made […]

‘Are We Sure She’s Dead?’: On Disbelief

Posted on September 28, 2022 - by Nathan Peterson

‘Are We Sure She’s Dead?’ Last night I dreamt about Olivia all night. I dreamt Heather dug her up and was holding her. She looked fine. No decay. She was moving. I have this dream often. I always think, “Wait, are we sure she’s dead? She’s moving!” Everyone in the dream tells me it is totally normal and that she is dead. But last night she talked. She said she loved me, Jude, Charlie, Ruth, and Heather. “Are we sure she’s dead?! She just spoke, for crying out loud.” “Yes, that’s normal.” In the dream, they put her in a big […]

Commemorating Our Loved Ones

Posted on September 25, 2022 - by Colleen Friesen

Every person who grieves will find solace in different things and different ways. Following the sudden passing of my son, I received comfort from actions or objects which draw him close. I have always been someone who connects strongly to objects, scents, tastes, and places of memory. In selecting mementos to decorate my life with, in my son’s absence, I let those proclivities guide me. Just for You You may find people around you are not able to understand or appreciate the things you do. I encourage you; don’t allow a negative response from someone to tarnish the practice or […]

Understanding our Emotions During Grief

Posted on September 22, 2022 - by Jacqui Coombe

There is a common saying in life, ‘nothing lasts forever.’ Unfortunately, this sentiment is true. As such, when we go through loss, whether that loss relates to a job, pet, friend or family member, some common emotions begin to surface. Understanding our emotions during grief will help us heal. Tangled up in loss are often feelings of sadness, grief and even depression. While it can be easy to think that these emotions are interchangeable, that isn’t quite the case. In fact, these three emotional states are quite different. Undoubtedly a heavy topic, it’s still good to understand elements of sadness, […]

Finding Strength in Grief

Posted on September 15, 2022 - by Colleen Friesen

Last week, after I posted my blog article and shared it on my social media, I received a treasured compliment. My soul sister remarked that she appreciated that my writing revealed both vulnerability and strength. As much as I was grateful for the comment when I first saw it, as it lay in my mind, I realized that if I am accomplishing that, I am living my grief in the manner I aspire to. Avoiding Grief Doesn’t Get You Through It In my prior experiences with grief, I fell into some very common pitfalls. In some instances, it was the […]

Hope Can Be Learned

Posted on September 8, 2022 - by Carol Smith

This is an excerpt from Crossing the River: Seven Stories That Saved My Life, a Memoir (Abrams Press, 2021), by Carol Smith. This is a book about trauma and grief. But it’s also a book about love, about living, about persistence and joy. It’s about reinventing, finding purpose, and discovering strength you didn’t know you had until you were called upon to use it. Every one of us fears there is something we could not survive. For me, it was the death of my only child when he was seven years old. He died suddenly, during what was shaping up […]