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From Married to Widowed: Can You Know How I Feel?

Posted on June 14, 2021 - by Gary Sturgis

From Married to Widowed Shortly after the death of my spouse, I was filling out a form at the bank. One of the questions was what my “status” was. In the past the answer was “married,” but now I was being asked to check the “widowed” box. I could not bring myself to check the “single” box because in my heart I had not yet gone from married to widowed. So, I did what any normal griever would do in that situation: I started to cry. The teller asked me if I was okay. Did I need anything? The response […]

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‘Why Me?’: Surviving Partner Loss

Posted on June 14, 2021 - by Gary Sturgis

Daily Reminder of Surviving Partner Loss   I was at the post office picking up the mail a couple of weeks after my loss. It was always such a painful experience since Rob was dead but continuing to get mail. Each envelope and package addressed to him was a gentle reminder of my loss.   An elderly neighbor came in and told me how sorry she was for my loss. She said, “Don’t worry about it. You’re young. You’ll meet someone else.” At the time I was still so raw in my grief and could not imagine such a thing […]

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My Recovery From the Death of Our Child

Posted on June 14, 2021 - by Lily Dulan

I once stood at what looked like the gates of heaven — bathed in golden light.  The Angels and I were having some sort of serious discussion. It was all very peaceful while I was there. Coming back was a different story. Thrust from that place, I awoke to my husband’s screams. “Lily wake up, Kara isn’t breathing!” The terror still grips me as I type this. The nightmare had begun. Our infant daughter had been ushered through heaven’s door and I was locked out. At two months old, she passed to the other side and I was shot back […]

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8 Ways to Find Comfort When Grieving

Posted on June 1, 2021 - by Faith Wilcox

Find Comfort When Grieving Have you ever thought you’d find comfort again when grieving the death of a child? Has grief left you bereft, feeling that relief is beyond your grasp? I felt this way after my fourteen-year-old daughter Elizabeth died from a rare pediatric bone cancer. Grieving left me weak. I was almost paralyzed, barely able to do simple activities like grocery shopping, making meals, or reading. It was as though the way that my mind and body functioned was overtaken by a debilitating force too strong for me to resist. I simply collapsed, unable to find needed strength. […]

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Moving Forward After a Profound Loss

Posted on June 1, 2021 - by Linda Zelik

Moving Forward is Possible With any profound loss, there isn’t a timetable for recovery. Moving forward is an individual thing, both in how it’s done and how long it takes. I have some suggestions to make this difficult journey a little easier. Although there is no such thing as “getting over” losing a child, it is possible to achieve a “new normal.” Naturally, you will never stop loving or remembering your beloved child, but trust me when I say it is possible to achieve happiness again. Don’t forget that there are other loved ones in your life, some of whom need you. I […]

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Healing a Broken Heart After A Child-Loss

Posted on June 1, 2021 - by Linda Zelik

Although each person’s journey after a child-loss is unique, I hope to make yours a little less painful by sharing the following suggestions that helped me in those early devastating years as I was healing a broken heart. Therapists Can Help With Healing a Broken Heart Don’t be hesitant or embarrassed to pursue a professional counselor. Seeing a good therapist can be helpful for the entire family. I encourage any bereaved parent or sibling to consider this. My medical doctor diagnosed me with “complicated grief disorder.” This means that the painful emotions after a loss are so severe that the […]

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How To Tame the Grief Monster

Posted on June 1, 2021 - by Linda Zelik

Taming the Grief Monster Having been a bereaved mother for over ten years years, I am now able look back and see how I was able to get from, “I don’t think I can survive this all-consuming pain” to “I will always love and miss my son, but the memories and joy of having him for 24 years now outweigh the pain of losing him.” Trust me, you too can tame the grief monster. Traversing through profound grief after losing a child will undoubtedly be the most difficult thing you will ever have to do. Unfortunately, there are no quick […]

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What to Do With a Loved One’s Possessions

Posted on May 21, 2021 - by Rachel Kodanaz

Definition of Loved One’s Possessions Until Rod’s passing, I was unaware of the true significance of a personal possession – something belonging just to you, something that doesn’t have meaning to anyone but you. The night I learned of Rod’s death, I returned home from the hospital to the house we shared as a family. The realization that he was never coming home took my breath away. In a rage of anger, I grabbed his toothbrush and threw it violently across the room. I was so angry that he had passed, leaving me with such uncertainty. Of course, his untimely […]

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The Pros and Cons of Emotional Shields

Posted on May 21, 2021 - by Greg Adams

‘Shields Up!’ What if the emotional shields we use to protect ourselves from pain get stuck in the upright position? What happens then? Can we get them unstuck? Is lowering our shields even a good idea? In the popular TV and movie series, Star Trek, from the 1960s to today, one of the consistent features in the starships used to travel the vastness of space is that they have invisible shields. When a starship is under attack, the captain orders, “Shields up!” to protect both ship and crew. The shields are not perfect protection, however, and part of the drama […]

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Music Can Help Us Grieve

Posted on May 2, 2021 - by Judy Lipson

Music is Healing and Meaningful Music has always enriched my life, shared with my beloved sisters, Margie and Jane. As girls, we loved attending Broadway musicals. We listened to the recordings beforehand and sang the songs in our head as the actors performed on stage. Some of our favorites included The Sound of Music, Funny Girl, and Fiddler on the Roof. Now, this same music helps me grieve. I realize that because, when I moved to downtown Boston, my collection of old records left in the basement for nineteen years was intact, along with my sisters’ records. I was astounded […]

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