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Do you want to read stories of others who have been where you are? Are you looking for bereavement help, and advice? Look no further. We offer over 7,000 articles written by our Open to Hope authors.

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Targets of Anger during Bereavement

Posted on October 16, 2020 - by Bob Baugher

This is an excerpt from the book: Understanding Anger during Bereavement by Bob Baugher, Carol Hankins & Gary Hankins. You can order it at: www.bobbaugher.com Targets of Anger during Bereavement  Oneself When bereaved, one of the easiest targets for anger is oneself.  See if any of the following types of self-directed anger relate to you: Not living up to expectations Part of being human is having expectations of yourself.  Translated into self-talk, it often includes the words “should,” “must,” “have to,” and “need to.”  During bereavement, it can sound like this: “I must be strong, I must do this right, I […]

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Understanding Anger During Bereavement

Posted on October 13, 2020 - by Bob Baugher

This is an excerpt from the book: Understanding Anger during Bereavement by Bob Baugher, Carol Hankins & Gary Hankins. You can order it at: www.bobbaugher.com   Components of Anger Expression One way to think of anger is in terms of the way it affects our body, mind, social life, and emotional state. Let’s look at each. The Physical Component   1.         Verbal expressions •                     Swear words •                     Substituted swear words (“shoot, dang, darn, heck, son of a gun, cripes”) •                     Labeling words (“idiot, stupid, heartless, psycho, chicken, geek, nerd”) •                     Questions (“who . . . , what . . . , […]

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Impact of Both Parents’ Deaths

Posted on October 12, 2020 - by Susan Berger

This is an excerpt from The Five Ways We Grieve, by Susan Berger, available at Barnes & Noble and Amazon:   Although I have been an orphan for more than half of my life, only in the past five years have I reached another level of understanding about how the deaths of my parents affected me. This revelation has given me some sense of peace.  And, while most people would assume I have “gotten over” my losses, I know that if being bereaved is being deprived of our loved ones, I remain in a state of bereavement. I still remember the […]

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Creating a New Identity

Posted on October 10, 2020 - by Susan Berger

This is an excerpt from The Five Ways We Grieve, by Susan Berger, available at Barnes & Noble and Amazon: Confronting the reality of having to live a changed life requires that you accept that your view of the world will change. Your loved one is gone physically. Psychologically, your sense of identity, security and safety are gone. Socially, relationships with friends and family may change. Spiritually, you may feel abandoned by God and isolated from others. Not knowing  who you are or where to go next, you are now faced with the most challenging task of all—creating a new identity […]

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Fear Comes From Loneliness; Don’t Grieve Alone

Posted on October 8, 2020 - by Susan Berger

This is an excerpt from The Five Ways We Grieve, available at Barnes & Noble, and Amazon: When we lose a loved one, fear is one of the strongest emotions we feel. Fear for our safety and our basic security,  fear about what will happen to us and our family.  Fear of not being able to manage our responsibilities on our own.  Fear of being alone. When we feel connected to others and to the universe,  however, we will not feel fear because, as Borysenko tells us:  “Fear cannot exist where there is connectedness because the core of fear is isolation.” So […]

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Replenishing Through Grief

Posted on October 6, 2020 - by Ruth Field

This is an excerpt from The 4 Facets of Grief: Heal Your Heart, Rebuild Your World, and Find New Pathways To Joy, which is available at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B073ZMKKH2. Is Self-Care Selfish? Let’s look at the word “selfish.” It has a negative connotation of someone who only cares about him- or herself. But what if we thought of the Self (with a capital S) as the essential part of our being that distinguishes us from others. Pretty special, huh? I’m not advocating narcissism or not caring about others; I’m just allowing for reasonable ways to cherish and nurture the unique human that each of […]

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Meaning Making

Posted on October 6, 2020 - by Ruth Field

This is an excerpt from The 4 Facets of Grief: Heal Your Heart, Rebuild Your World, and Find New Pathways To Joy, which is available at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B073ZMKKH2.   Meaning Making   When I use the term “meaning-making,” I’m talking about the process of understanding or making sense of what’s going on in our lives. Many times the meaning of an event seems obviously unquestionable. In the case of bereavement, however, we are often left feeling empty because our dear one’s death will never make sense.   Finding meaning in distress can be like turning on a light bulb in a […]

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Adapting to a New Reality: Taking ‘Grief Breaks’

Posted on October 2, 2020 - by Ruth Field

This is an excerpt from The 4 Facets of Grief: Heal Your Heart, Rebuild Your World, and Find New Pathways To Joy, which is available at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B073ZMKKH2   Keep Learning Our brains crave information and order. It’s natural to long for as much detail as possible about your particular situation, its effects, and how you’re coping. What specifics do you know about what happened? Who might be responsible? How will you go on? Could it have been avoided or prevented? If so, how? These are hard questions to ponder, and they come up whether we want them to or not. Just know this is […]

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Accepting the Unacceptable

Posted on September 30, 2020 - by Ruth Field

This is an excerpt from The 4 Facets of Grief: Heal Your Heart, Rebuild Your World, and Find New Pathways To Joy, which is available at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B073ZMKKH2.   Defining Acceptance The first step is to figure out what acceptance really means. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, acceptance is the quality or state of being accepted or acceptable, as in approval. It further adds, acceptance can mean to endure without protest or reaction; to regard as proper, normal, or inevitable; to recognize as true. When my heart is screaming “NO!” and rejecting every aspect of a situation, what would it mean if […]

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Endings and Beginnings

Posted on September 27, 2020 - by Ruth Field

This is an excerpt from The 4 Facets of Grief: Heal Your Heart, Rebuild Your World, and Find New Pathways To Joy, which is available at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B073ZMKKH2.   I used to think life was a series of beginnings. Birth is a beginning; starting school is a beginning. So is learning to drive; new love; a new home. All these firsts take us toward presumably better and more fulfilling experiences. Beginnings are filled with hope, promise, and expectation. Sometimes they’re exhilarating and scary in the most positive way. But I honestly didn’t consider the possibility that they also may follow endings. At least, not until […]

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