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‘Because of You’: Letter to a Daughter Who Has Died

Posted on November 10, 2019 - by Lisa Boehm

Dear Katie, Losing you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. It broke me into a million pieces, but I knew you didn’t want me to stay in that dark and painful place. I decided that I wanted to live like you did. I want to live with passion and purpose and be the kind-hearted person that you were. You are my guide and my teacher and you have made me a better person. While not a day that goes by without some pain and sadness, you have have taught me more than I ever thought possible. […]

There’s a Kind of Crying You Do…

Posted on November 10, 2019 - by Susan Troccolo

There’s a kind of crying you do just once in awhile. It leaves your ribs aching, your eyes burning, and your heart so bruised that you realize you can’t live in that place of loss very long or you might break. The last time I cried like that was eleven years ago when I lost the battle between my oncologist, my husband and me: two against one. I was going to have to do chemo this second time around and I couldn’t get out of it. I came home and cried that same cry laying on the floor of our […]

This is Your Life, Your Pain, and Your Story

Posted on November 10, 2019 - by Catherine McNulty

Hope. When I ask those who are grieving what they need most, they say “hope”. They want confidence that they can get through the process, that they won’t be miserable forever, and they will be able to be happy again, although this can be hard to imagine early in grief. After I lost my son, I went to a support group looking for hope. Losing him had shattered my world, and I didn’t know where to start. I didn’t know how to live without him in my life. I needed hope more than anything else. I forced myself out of […]

Choosing a Retirement Community is about Living and Dying

Posted on November 8, 2019 - by Harriet Hodgson

My husband and I have faced many health challenges. In May, I was in acute heart failure and had open heart surgery. Now I have a pig valve in my heart and it seems to be working efficiently. This is a welcome change because I am my disabled husband’s caregiver. Almost a year ago, he fell to the floor and fractured his pelvis in three places. A paid caregiver was with him at the time. Though I don’t know how the accident happened, my husband says he thought he was transferring from his bed to a shower chair, only the […]

No Outsourcing the ‘Why’ in Grief

Posted on October 31, 2019 - by Greg Adams

We are possessed by words. We are wordy creatures. We talk, write, text, sing, shout, and whisper words…all the time. We ponder what we said, what they said, and what we should say next time, and we narrate our lives with our internal words. We have “inside” and “outside” words, and we hope we can keep them straight. When we think about it, we realize the lie in the childhood saying: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” How silly and how wrong. Words can become background noise, but they retain power. We remember […]

Life is NOT About Rainbows and Unicorns

Posted on October 31, 2019 - by Danita Ogandaga

Do you remember your life as a child in elementary school? The times when you would run on the playground with a kite in your hand and just run, with your eyes closed, with the wind? Although a tremendous amount of social and emotional development has taken place during our early childhood, there is much to still be learned about understanding our emotions. The life of a ten-year-old child can find ways parallel to that of an adult at times. When my daughter, Talmer-Marie, set out to write her second book, WOW! Life is Not About Rainbows and Unicorns: A […]

Give Yourself a G.I.F.T. This Holiday Season

Posted on October 31, 2019 - by Kerry Phillips

The holidays are a time of togetherness and family traditions. It’s even been dubbed the “most wonderful time of the year.” But for many in the widowed community, it can be filled with grief, loneliness, and reminders of our loss. Once solid relationships with family and friends may have frayed throughout the year because our grief was too much for them to handle and our in-laws, one of the last few connections to our spouse, might as well be called “outlaws.” If you’re fortunate enough to have been invited – and accepted – to spend the holidays with loved ones, […]

Recovery in Pieces

Posted on October 31, 2019 - by Tambre Leighn

It’s been many years, many miles, and many tears since the early, raw days of being widowed. The life I am living now is one I would never have recognized as mine when I walked down the aisle to take the hand of my soon to be husband. And, yet, it is of my own making. Completely designed and created by me with an incredible amount of effort, courage, and support from people who love me. Pieces from the Past Bits and pieces of the past are peppered throughout the life I am living without Gary. His artwork, a painting […]

How Will I Make it Through the Holidays? Five Ways to Try

Posted on October 20, 2019 - by Mary Joye

When the stores stock Halloween items on the shelves, it is reminder that the holidays are on the way. If you’re grieving, these images may further embed haunting memories. It has been almost four years since the untimely passing of my only sibling. As it happened over the holidays, this time of year is inevitably going to remind me of things I couldn’t expect. I could withdraw or retreat. You could, too. However, I’m a therapist and know that taking time off to heal is vastly different from withdrawing for long periods of time. Connectivity is essential for well-being. In […]

Emotional Recovery Through ‘Adjustability’

Posted on October 17, 2019 - by Ann Schiebert

In the living of a life, there are so many challenges that usually come from changing circumstances and loss. Sometimes, those who are suffering from “hard news,” find it almost impossible to dig themselves out of despair, grief and suffering. Adjustability and resilience often determine how one gets through difficult times. Adjustability is the ability to adapt to new surroundings and to acclimate to different circumstances. For example, if one moves to a new neighborhood, makes friends, and becomes a part of the new community, they can be described as “adjustable.” Resilience is the ability to recover quickly from difficulties […]