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Well-Dressed Grief

Posted on March 22, 2019 - by Larry Patten

He was dressed for success. His suit was charcoal gray, shirt the blue of a perfect spring sky, both complimented by an elegant tie. Since the gentleman had just entered the room of a noon-time support group for those 55-and-over, I suspected he was coming from work. Or was he retired and always wore his Sunday best? My father, well into his eighties, frequently sported a button-down shirt and matching tie. Until dementia stole nearly everything about Dad, he might add a jacket to complete the look. Office bound or collecting pensions, some guys like to maintain appearances. I work […]

It’s Not Time That Heals Our Wounds

Posted on March 8, 2019 - by Annah Elizabeth

Time heals all wounds. The message has been passed down for centuries, used in memes, mimes, and has come out of many mouths from those who wish to offer another person encouragement and support. For some of us, this expression is a beacon of hope that keeps us clinging to life, maybe even getting out of bed or putting one proverbial foot in front of the other, day in and day out. For others, it is a razor-sharp knife that taunts our every, excruciatingly eternal, waking moment. Time… Minutes. Hours. Days. Months. Years… How can something as abstract as […]

Grief of Chronic Illness

Posted on March 4, 2019 - by Harriet Hodgson

After three bouts of living with an irregular, rapid heartbeat (atrial fibrillation), I was diagnosed with acute heart failure. Though I knew I was having heart problems, I didn’t think they were life-threatening. Heart failure was bad enough, but the word acute really bothered me. I wasn’t prepared for the emotions that surfaced in response to this diagnosis. For a day or two, I was in denial. Things couldn’t be that bad, could they? But a series of tests, including having a camera inserted in my throat to photograph my heart valves and cardio conversion—electric shock to restore my […]

Five Signs of Love’s Eternal Essence

Posted on February 25, 2019 - by Annah Elizabeth

Valentine’s Day has come and gone for millions of happy couples, friends, children, and parents who celebrate this Day of Love, but for countless people who have lost a special someone, pain continues to pull on their heart strings for what seems like an endless loop of days that merely exist as Before and After. Oh, how I remember the heart-and-gut-wrenching pain I felt after my firstborn died from unexpected delivery complications, and following two subsequent miscarriages. Love I would never be able to bestow upon children I had dreamt of since my own childhood…arms I would never feel […]

A Lonely Death in Palm Springs

Posted on February 22, 2019 - by Emily Kil

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. – Bishop Desmond Tutu Palm Springs. Frank Sinatra. Elizabeth Taylor. Liberace. Mickey Rooney. Bob Hope. Rock Hudson. Lauren Bacall. Marilyn Monroe. The name of the city, coupled with the legendary icons of Hollywood’s Golden Era, cements Palm Springs in the minds of people nearly everywhere as one of the most glamorous locations in the United States. Although the city is evolving, Palm Springs remains a tony, upscale community with few rivals in Southern California or the United States. With that all said, as is the […]

Suicide, Betrayal and Coming Home

Posted on February 18, 2019 - by Elaine Voci

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, Love leaves a memory no one can steal.” an epitaph from a headstone in Ireland I stared at the plain paper note that had come in the mail. It was from Jack, my husband, and said simply, “It’s time for me to take off.” Enclosed in the envelope was a deposit slip showing that he had emptied his checking account and transferred the funds to a household account in both our names. Struggling to breathe, I phoned my adult son who lived nearby; he kept reminding me to “Breathe, Mom, breathe.” I […]

After Child-Loss, Joy Can Return

Posted on February 17, 2019 - by Jill Smoot

After the death of our son, I read a verse in the Bible that said, “weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5) I was all too familiar with the first part, as tears wet my pillow night after night. But joy in the morning? No, just a dead feeling of loss. The word “endure” used in older translations was more expressive of its reality. The dictionary defines the word as, “ to bear patiently, to tolerate, exist, last, and to suffer without yielding.” That was all too true for me, especially as just […]

Finding EMDR to help with Grief

Posted on February 15, 2019 - by Catherine McNulty

My favorite quote is from Earl Grollman when he says, “The only cure for grief, is to grieve.” I spent a good two years lost in the throes of loss and grief, not knowing how to overcome my grief after the loss of my son. I felt alone, afraid, and hopeless. I was deep in despair and unsure that anything good be done to get me through it. It wasn’t until I had another son, that things really began to change. The process to get pregnant again and bring him to life was nothing short of harrowing but I somehow […]

Death as Teacher

Posted on February 11, 2019 - by Greg Adams

Death is thought of in many ways. As an (or the) enemy or as a sad and tragic reality. Sometimes as an essential part of the natural cycle of life—“a time to be born and a time to die”—and sometimes as a thief. Grim Reaper, mystery, transition or rebirth. In the Harry Potter books, death is described as the next great adventure and as an old friend. In some situations, death is also thought of like an escape, a relief, or a rest. What about death as a teacher? “If death is the teacher, then it’s not a class […]

Surviving Widowhood: Check Your Track Record

Posted on February 10, 2019 - by Kerry Phillips

There is something about widowhood that brings you to your knees. I remember feeling trapped in an alternative universe trying to make sense of the chaos that surrounded me. The most troubling part was that the one person who was capable of steadying my boat – even as the sea of life raged around me – was the reason for my storm. In March 2012, I got the call no wife ever wants to hear. My husband was dead. We had been married for all of one year and six days. It didn’t seem fair that I’d spent so many […]