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Taking Care of Yourself Through the Grief Process: Interview with Dr. Howard R. Winokuer

Posted on December 18, 2018 - by Howard Winokuer

At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Dr. Howard R. Winokuer about burnout after the death of a loved one and how we can take care of ourselves. In the video below, Howard shares advice on how to deal with burnout following the death of a loved one. Here are some key takeaways from the video: The first thing that comes to Howard’s mind, which is from his own experience dealing with the death of his parents, is that no matter how much you know about grief it doesn’t make the process any easier. […]

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Tips For Handling Grief During the Holidays

Posted on December 11, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

Grief hits at the most unexpected times. However, the holidays are a known time when grief comes back like a weight, pushing down on those who have lost children, siblings, parents, and other loved ones. It can become even more difficult when that lost loved one really loved Christmas. However, there are some tips that can help you handle the holidays and find the joy in these celebrations for yourself, your family, and even for your lost loved one. Recently, in the above video, my daughter, Heidi, and Debbie Rambis, Executive Director of The Compassionate Friends, shared our own experiences […]

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The Vocabulary of Grief

Posted on December 11, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

When you’ve lost a child, it can sometimes feel like you’re speaking a different language than everyone else. People ask vague questions like “How are you doing?” or “Is there anything I can do to help?” They mean well, but people often work hard to avoid acknowledging the elephant in the room. Terms like loss and death are hard for most of us to say, and they create an awkward catch-22. Not acknowledging a deep loss a person is despairing over can appear insensitive, but mentioning it — making it real again — can introduce a melancholy tone to a […]

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Lessons From One Who Has Helped Many Pass Away

Posted on December 8, 2018 - by Nina Impala

Let’s talk about the mysteries of death, because in death there always seems to be so many unanswered questions.  I know with my own mom, who has been gone eight years now, the one question still remains: Why did she have to die? Breast cancer took her life. She was too young, a vibrant, good-hearted woman. It still is a mystery to me. People often ask me questions about whether their loved one is OK, whether they can see us, feel us, suffer or be scared. They want to know: How long does it take to reach heaven? Was someone there […]

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Holiday Season: A Contrast of Bright Lights and Inner Darkness

Posted on December 7, 2018 - by Annah Elizabeth

  ‘Tis the season, and let’s face it, Neighbor, most major events are a mixed bag of suffering and celebration. Think about the anxiety, the exhaustion, as well as the emotional and time investments you make in everything from prom or wedding dress shopping to all occasions related to gift-giving. If I’m to be totally honest, as much as I LOVE celebrating and gift giving, I do on occasion dread trying to juggle the added errands and details in with my day-to-day demands. I don’t know about you, but the way I minimize stress on my schedule, my sanity, and […]

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Revelations Along the Grief Ride

Posted on December 5, 2018 - by Judy Lipson

The amusement park rides illustrate the trajectory of revelation and power of change. Every ride makes us feel different sensations, from the slow to the chilling speed of the roller coaster to the flowing music as the vibrant horses of the merry-go- round move up and down. The smiles, excitement, and thrill, to the disappointment, anguish and torment at not winning a game or at the completion of the ride and wanting to go again and again. My revelations since my discovery and efforts on grief after years of abandonment feel like I am at the amusement park again with […]

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Dear Dad Letters: Nights After Death

Posted on December 5, 2018 - by Gary Jaworski

Dreams Dear Dad, I’ve been having this recurring dream.  I am sitting alone in a movie theater, about halfway down the theater.  A movie is playing on the screen, but I can’t make out which one.  I turn around and see lots of people standing and talking to each other along the side and back aisles.  They are not seated; that privilege is reserved for the living.  It is the dead who crowd the standing-room-only aisles, looking on at the movie and on those of us who sit. Among the standing are those in our family who have died.  I see Uncle Andy, Grandma and Grandpa, […]

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You’ll Never Get Over It

Posted on December 4, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

In working with hundreds of grieving families over the years, I’ve witnessed how hope survives even the cruelest losses. Parents who have lost a child hope to live a life their child would be proud of; they hope to find ways to honor their child’s memory or prevent another family from enduring such a loss. They hope to find a way back to normal, or to at least establish a new “normal.” But I’ve also heard people hope for the day they would “get over it.” Sometimes uttered by people who have closed themselves off to their own feelings, this […]

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Jason Stout: Outward Bound

Posted on November 28, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

Many members of Open to Hope have attended Outward Bound’s (aptly named) outdoor sessions, including the Executive Director Gloria’s Horsley’s late son, Scott. Jason Stout has been a part of Outward Bound for years, and recently spoke with Dr. Horsley about why wilderness experiences are so helpful and critical for those in the grieving process. Stout isn’t just a leader at Outward Bound going on 15 years, but also an alumnus. “I attended a seven day Outward Bound course and then an 80 day course,” he shares. “It was life changing for me and had a huge impact on my […]

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Candice Courtney: Rituals

Posted on November 26, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

“Ritual is so important, it supports us throughout our lives” including when there is a death in the family, says Candice Courtney of Scottsdale, Arizona, the author of Healing Through Illness, Living Through Dying. She recently spoke with Dr. Gloria Horsley of the Open to Hope Foundation during the 2015 annual Association of Death Education and Counseling Conference. Rituals are so ingrained into the human experience that many people don’t realize they’re participating in rituals—whether they’re cultural, religious or otherwise prescribed. Some people even create their own rituals without realizing it. Dr. Horsley has a particular interest in rituals, having […]

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