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The Vocabulary of Grief

Posted on December 11, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

When you’ve lost a child, it can sometimes feel like you’re speaking a different language than everyone else. People ask vague questions like “How are you doing?” or “Is there anything I can do to help?” They mean well, but people often work hard to avoid acknowledging the elephant in the room. Terms like loss and death are hard for most of us to say, and they create an awkward catch-22. Not acknowledging a deep loss a person is despairing over can appear insensitive, but mentioning it — making it real again — can introduce a melancholy tone to a […]

Lessons From One Who Has Helped Many Pass Away

Posted on December 8, 2018 - by Nina Impala

Let’s talk about the mysteries of death, because in death there always seems to be so many unanswered questions. I know with my own mom, who has been gone eight years now, the one question still remains: Why did she have to die? Breast cancer took her life. She was too young, a vibrant, good-hearted woman. It still is a mystery to me. People often ask me questions about whether their loved one is OK, whether they can see us, feel us, suffer or be scared. They want to know: How long does it take to reach heaven? Was someone there […]

Holiday Season: A Contrast of Bright Lights and Inner Darkness

Posted on December 7, 2018 - by Annah Elizabeth

‘Tis the season, and let’s face it, Neighbor, most major events are a mixed bag of suffering and celebration. Think about the anxiety, the exhaustion, as well as the emotional and time investments you make in everything from prom or wedding dress shopping to all occasions related to gift-giving. If I’m to be totally honest, as much as I LOVE celebrating and gift giving, I do on occasion dread trying to juggle the added errands and details in with my day-to-day demands. I don’t know about you, but the way I minimize stress on my schedule, my sanity, and […]

Revelations Along the Grief Ride

Posted on December 5, 2018 - by Judy Lipson

The amusement park rides illustrate the trajectory of revelation and power of change. Every ride makes us feel different sensations, from the slow to the chilling speed of the roller coaster to the flowing music as the vibrant horses of the merry-go- round move up and down. The smiles, excitement, and thrill, to the disappointment, anguish and torment at not winning a game or at the completion of the ride and wanting to go again and again. My revelations since my discovery and efforts on grief after years of abandonment feel like I am at the amusement park again with […]

Dear Dad Letters: Nights After Death

Posted on December 5, 2018 - by Gary Jaworski

Dreams Dear Dad, I’ve been having this recurring dream. I am sitting alone in a movie theater, about halfway down the theater. A movie is playing on the screen, but I can’t make out which one. I turn around and see lots of people standing and talking to each other along the side and back aisles. They are not seated; that privilege is reserved for the living. It is the dead who crowd the standing-room-only aisles, looking on at the movie and on those of us who sit. Among the standing are those in our family who have died. I see Uncle Andy, Grandma and Grandpa, […]

You’ll Never Get Over It

Posted on December 4, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

In working with hundreds of grieving families over the years, I’ve witnessed how hope survives even the cruelest losses. Parents who have lost a child hope to live a life their child would be proud of; they hope to find ways to honor their child’s memory or prevent another family from enduring such a loss. They hope to find a way back to normal, or to at least establish a new “normal.” But I’ve also heard people hope for the day they would “get over it.” Sometimes uttered by people who have closed themselves off to their own feelings, this […]

Jason Stout: Outward Bound

Posted on November 28, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

Many members of Open to Hope have attended Outward Bound’s (aptly named) outdoor sessions, including the Executive Director Gloria’s Horsley’s late son, Scott. Jason Stout has been a part of Outward Bound for years, and recently spoke with Dr. Horsley about why wilderness experiences are so helpful and critical for those in the grieving process. Stout isn’t just a leader at Outward Bound going on 15 years, but also an alumnus. “I attended a seven day Outward Bound course and then an 80 day course,” he shares. “It was life changing for me and had a huge impact on my […]

Candice Courtney: Rituals

Posted on November 26, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

“Ritual is so important, it supports us throughout our lives” including when there is a death in the family, says Candice Courtney of Scottsdale, Arizona, the author of Healing Through Illness, Living Through Dying. She recently spoke with Dr. Gloria Horsley of the Open to Hope Foundation during the 2015 annual Association of Death Education and Counseling Conference. Rituals are so ingrained into the human experience that many people don’t realize they’re participating in rituals—whether they’re cultural, religious or otherwise prescribed. Some people even create their own rituals without realizing it. Dr. Horsley has a particular interest in rituals, having […]

Todd Hochberg: Creating Rituals

Posted on November 22, 2018 - by Heidi Horsley

The man behind the film “Other Rituals, Parents’ Stories and Meaning Making,” Todd Hochberg, joined Dr. Heidi Horsley at the Open to Hope Foundation’s annual conference to discuss the importance of creating rituals as part of the grieving process. In the film, Hochberg interviews many of the families he’s worked with including many parents whose children have passed away. By helping families through the process with pictures, Hochberg describes in the film how such processes optimize healing and shine a lantern in an otherwise dark period of time. One of Hochberg’s innovative approaches is offering photography services soon after a […]

Darwin Huartson: Hospice

Posted on November 20, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

Darwin Huartson is part of the VITAS Innovative Hospice Care team in San Antonio, Texas, and spoke recently with Dr. Gloria Horsley about the role of hospice care—as well as many of the myths surrounding it. He’s a bereavement services manager and has been working with VITAS for 18 years. For years hospices served a niche community, but in recent years grief experts in general have come to understand that hospices can and should play a bigger role in the bereavement process. Like many hospices, a big part of the VITAS mission statement is to best serve their clients, but […]