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Adrift in A Sea of Grief

Posted on November 5, 2018 - by Maria Kubitz

I am adrift in an endless sea of grief. As I float along, the world continues to go on around me as if I am walking among the bustling crowds—but my feet haven’t touched dry land since September 30, 2009. It was on that day—the day my 4-year-old daughter drowned—I was unwillingly thrust into this watery journey. Drowning in Despair Without warning—and in a matter of moments—my daughter’s sudden death unleashed a monstrous tsunami of indescribable pain that was so huge and so dense, it blocked out the light of the sun. In complete darkness, it crashed down upon me […]

A Christmas Encounter

Posted on November 1, 2018 - by Jill Smoot

In late summer, with a record heat index, I went to the store to do some shopping. As I pushed my cart, I came upon aisles of Christmas decorations already displayed even before the pumpkins had arrived. I looked away. I had for these past years purposed to live in the moment, savor each day, not always straining to the next thing, rushing past the blessings that were wrapped in that moment. But the thing about grief is, whether fresh and stinging or scarred over, it can grip your emotions in unexpected places. And in those moments as I viewed […]

No Choice, Some Choices, and ‘Choosement’

Posted on October 23, 2018 - by Greg Adams

A friend was in a horrible car crash about a year and half ago. The car was damaged beyond repair, he was left with lifetime health consequences, and most tragically, another person in the car, his friend, died in the accident. Since the crash, there have been extensive legal discussions and negotiations concerning liability, and just recently a settlement was reached with the trucking company involved. But the term “settlement” didn’t sit well with my friend. Was “settle” really the best word to describe the situation? His wife provided a more acceptable description, suggesting an alternative to replace “settlement.” […]

Look Who is Coming to Holiday Dinner! What to Do When a Parent Remarries

Posted on October 22, 2018 - by Mary Joye

When holidays come, grief can go haywire. Most everyone knows that. But what do you do if you are grieving a parent and your remaining father or mother is dating or has married someone new. How do you handle those holidays? Perspective and introspection may help you understand and cope with the loss and a sudden gain of what you may think of as a “replacement”. A new love in any context, including grief, is not a replacement. The displacement that occurs after grief can be so jarring and leaves many dissociated for a long time. There is no “right” […]

Dr. Anasuya Tegathesan: Multicultural Counseling

Posted on October 12, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

Open to Hope Foundation’s Dr. Heidi Horsley spoke with Dr. Anasuya Tegathesan, a Senior Lecturer at Hope University in Malaysia, about the intricacies of multicultural counseling. She concurrently supervises master’s students and also provides counseling for a number of clinics and NGOs around the world. As part of the Hope University program, Dr. Tegathesan oversees “therapists in training” as they provide complimentary counseling to other students on the campus as well as clients of non-profits who cannot afford counseling. “Culturally, do you see differences in the way people grieve?” asked Dr. Horsley. “Grief is a universal phenomenon—everybody grieves,” says Dr. […]

Cara Grosset: Getting Teens the Support They Need

Posted on October 11, 2018 - by Gloria Horsley

A clinical social worker from Ontario, Canada, Cara Grosset found time to connect with Dr. Gloria Horsley during the 2015 Association on Death Education and Counseling conference to discuss bereaved families. She has been a member of the Bereaved Families of Ontario for over 25 years, has a private practice and is a staff member at Wilfrid Laurier University. Grosset specializes in working with children, teens and young adults. She’s a strong believer that this age group has a strong need to talk to each other. They need to be shown they’re not alone, and their loved ones need the […]

Chuck Overton: Spiritual Journey

Posted on October 6, 2018 - by Neil Chethik

Open to Hope recently spoke with Chuck Overton, a Spiritual Director at Caris Healthcare in Knoxville, Tennessee. As a chaplain, Overton has worked closely with grieving families as they learn to navigate life after losing a loved one. One of the biggest hurdles, Overton explains, is “their experience with feeling abandoned.” This can include by God, their spiritual community and of course the loved one who passed. It’s common to feel isolated from even a well-established spiritual community, whether it’s by their pastor or their close “church friends”—and this abandonment could have threads of truth or not. It’s common for […]

Zaneta Gileno: TAPS Helps After Military Deaths

Posted on October 6, 2018 - by Jessica Tyner Mehta

Zaneta Gileno works for the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), a non-profit that supports people who lost loved ones in the military. As the Director of Community-Based care, Gileno helps connect people to individualized grief counseling. She spoke with Dr. Heidi Horsley during the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference about her work and personal experience with TAPS. Peer support is what Gileno believes most helps children who lose a parent in the military, as Gileno lost her own father at a young age. Dr. Horsley also utilizes the services of TAPS, and knows first-hand just how […]

Carole Hilton: TAPS for Widows

Posted on October 3, 2018 - by Heidi Horsley

The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) was a buoy for Carole Hilton, who discovered the program just a few days after her husband died. He was an active member in the Navy, and when the officer arrived at Hilton’s doorstep to deliver the news, within the paperwork was a TAPS brochure. Hilton talked with the Open to Hope Executive Director, Dr. Heidi Horsley, during the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference about what TAPS means to her. Nobody plans on becoming a young widow or ever having that title bestowed upon them. However, Hilton says that simply […]

Saying Goodbye to Dad

Posted on September 30, 2018 - by Thomas Attig

I remember my last visit before Dad died in 1969. Mom called me at graduate school to tell me that he was quite ill (he’d suffered a stroke four years earlier) and had been admitted to the hospital again. She made it clear that if I came, it would be my last visit. Though incredibly weak, Dad, as usual, was glad to see me. Our conversation was minimal. Quiet time predominated. He seemed surprised at my visit, since I had visited him at home not long before. Yet, he acted not so surprised. It was as if he knew why […]