At Valentine’s Time, Widow Misses Even the Boredom

As a widow, I’ve found that ordinary things can take on a whole new meaning.  For instance, today at work I turned over the page of my desk calendar.  There on one side of the calendar page was a page full of hearts with a message, “Remember, next Monday is Valentine’s Day.” 

I found myself feeling extremely blue at the thought of another Valentine’s Day without the love of my life (my husband passed away almost 6 years ago).  I remembered how he would always have flowers in a vase on the kitchen table for me when I came home from work.  I remembered the beautiful card that sat beside the vase of flowers. 

I smiled, took a deep breath, and I was thankful for the beautiful memory.  All this from just turning over a page on my desk calendar, but it didn’t end there.

I turned the page that was filled with hearts over, and there was a short quote, “In love there are no vacations… No such thing.  Love has to be lived fully…with its boredom and all that.” – Marguerite Duras. 

I thought: I don’t know who you are, Marguerite Duras, but I do know that you are right. “Love has to be lived fully…with its boredom and all that.” 

I found myself thinking of how I wish I could have that boredom back in my life!  After 35 years of marriage, I knew just what she meant.  We did have some boring days – but we were bored together.  When you are a widow, and alone you even long for the boredom…how sad is that?  Like I said, even the ordinary things take on new meaning when you are a widow 

Marguerite Duras was a French Writer and Film Director (1914 – 1996).

Paula Ezop 2011

Paula Ezop

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Paula M. Ezop is a spirituality commentary columnist. Her inspirational columns Following the Spiritual Soul have appeared in Oconee Today, a South Carolina Scripps Howard publication. They are currently in: Celebrating the Success of the Modern Woman, Esteem Yourself, and Open to Hope. She has contributed to such popular books as Chicken Soup for the Caregivers Soul and she has written the foreword to Whispers of Inspiration, a collection of both poetry and prose gathered from voices around the world. Paula also co-authored a book in the Mommies Line, Spirituality for Mommies. Her Ebook Sparkly Bits of Spiritual Wisdom is available online, it is a collection of her inspirational columns. She has also written Sparkly Bits of Spiritual Wisdom – 29 ½ Ways for Women to Get In Touch With Their Spirits. Closest to her heart is her most recent book, A Widow’s Journey – Healing a Broken Heart. Wiggles Press has published her children’s chapter books, The Adventures of Penelope Star and the Mystery of the Three Dragons, and Lee McKenzie’s Summer to Remember – both are the first in a series. Paula holds the Bachelor of Arts, majoring in Elementary Education from Northeastern Illinois University. Her heartfelt and meaningful writing began as a means to overcome the loss of her husband. Paula has now written hundreds of articles and several books centering on life and faith. Her sustaining philosophy is that “we are more than the woman we see in our mirror.”

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