The Open to Hope Community

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Articles:

How Do You Grieve For an Ex-Spouse?

By Mel Glazer — My first wife died several weeks ago. We were married almost thirty years, we have four kids and four grandsons, and we were divorced four years ago. Donna was sick for many years, and her body finally gave out. As sad as it was, it was also a relief. As I am fond of saying, The Angel of Death is not always an enemy, and in this case it was true. But as difficult as the last years might have been between us, her death created new and wrenching dilemmas for me and the kids. I […]

Writing to Heal: A Personal Journey

By Linda C. Wisniewski, M.S.L.S. — Take a walk through any bookstore, and you’ll see that memoirs are among the most popular books being sold today. People from all walks of life are putting their stories together for their families, friends and for publication. We love to read real-life inspirational stories. But did you know there are very tangible health benefits to writing? In the 1990s, Dr. James Pennebaker at the University of Texas at Austin found that people who wrote about emotionally traumatic events showed reductions in blood pressure and heart rate and improvement in conditions like asthma and […]

Surviving the suicide of my child

By Terrye Harris On December 13, 2004, my world shattered into a million pieces. After a 2 year long battle with schizophrenia, my youngest son, Jonathan took his own life at the age of 19. The day Jonathan died, I kept telling myself this is the worst day of my life. Little did I know through the haze of shock that surrounded me,that there would be many more worse days to follow. The first six months, it was all I could do to keep breathing. During this time I believe I could have actually laid down and willed myself to […]

Should Mother Give Deceased Daughter’s Clothes to Someone Else?

Question from Mary: I have a friend who lost her daughter at age 10. She now has a step-daughter that age, and my friend is giving her step-daughter her deceased daughter’s toys and other belongings. Is this normal? David Hurley, a contributing writer for Open to Hope, responds: It seems to me that giving her stepdaughter belongings from her deceased daughter is a sign of acceptance for the stepdaughter. Perhaps this mother, like me, has decided that there are no “steps” in her heart. I don’t think there is a “normal” when it comes to activities following the death of […]

Noticing and Grieving Go Together

by Chris Mulligan Learning to “notice” during my first year of grief was more important than anything else in helping me survive my grief. It also provided me a major life lesson. I realized that noticing was the vehicle through which I have come to accept my life experiences as well as be able to move through them and learn from them. All the major events in my life — those that caused the most pain and eventually precipitated the most growth — have also caused me to reflect upon and recognize that the suffering was present for a reason. I always […]

Father Recalls Son’s Suicide on the 10th Anniversary

By Dick Loehr — You are reading this because you have lost someone to suicide or perhaps you have had suicidal thoughts yourself. I am writing this to tell you about Keith, what I have learned in these 10 years, and what I do for myself in order to keep surviving. When Keith took his life, he was a working adult, located in a city far from us. We weren’t around Keith very much. He was not in treatment for depression, and we had little understanding of depression or other brain disorders. Keith was a high achiever, well-liked by his […]

Is Six Months After Husband’s Death Too Soon to Begin Dating?

Question from Mary: I lost my husband after 31 years. He literally dropped dead at work seven and a half months ago. We had been married almost 31 years and he was my soulmate. A few weeks ago, a man who I knew and met once through a social networking site started texting me and emailing me. He is separated and lonely. I look forward to his messages and I can’t help being flattered by his attention. He gives me a purpose to get up in the morning and I feel happier. At the same time, I feel a terrible […]

Grief, Guilt, Death, Denial: a different experience for all

by Mel Menzies There is a tendency to assume that, following a bereavement, grief must adhere to a certain pattern to be real. But this is not true. The process of mourning, following the loss of a loved one, is different for everyone, and looking for a set response from someone is a dangerous expectation. My reactions, when I lost my adult daughter, may be quite different to yours in a similar situation. And yours, in turn, may be opposite to someone close to you. It is important to grasp this concept, especially between parents who have lost a child, […]

“Motherland”: Six Women United by Loss

The movie “Motherland” will have its world premiere next month at the South by Southwest Film Festival in Austin, Texas. “Motherland” is a film about six women from diverse backgrounds who come together to take a unique trip: a 17-day intensive pilgrimage to volunteer in rural South Africa. Prior to the journey, the women did not know each other. However they had one thing in common: they had all suffered the death of a child. With grief in their hearts and the willingness to make a difference, this group of women traveled half way around the world to live with […]

‘Weaving the Arts’ Grief Conference Set in Colorado

Below you will find information on an upcoming, experiential learning conference focusing on the use of creative therapies to address issues of grief and loss. This conference is being hosted by Pathways Hospice: Programs for Grief & Loss (formerly known as The Hospice of Larimer County). Early registration?is now open until March 1, 2009. The conference dates are May 15-17, 2009. Go to http://www.hlchospice.org/Grief_Programs/Weaving-the-Arts.php for more information and online registration. Combining creative art therapies with grief theory is a powerful way to address grief and loss. This conference offers a way to expand awareness of the effectiveness of integrating the […]

Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.