The Open to Hope Community

From Heartbreak to Happiness

(Note: “From Heartbreak To Happiness” reprinted with permission by Aurora Winter) Most of us are looking for love in all the wrong places. When a relationship ends, whether it be through divorce, death, or break-up, most people rush out to find someone new. I know — I have done it myself! After my 33-year-old husband died suddenly, I yearned to find a new husband … and someone to be a father figure for our four-year-old son. But the truth is, we can’t just plop a new person into the hole in our hearts left by the loss of someone we […]

With Husband’s Death, New Woman is Born

By Virginia Hadfield —

Forgive for Good: Nine Steps to Self Forgiveness

9 Steps to Self Forgiveness:

Five Prominent People Who Changed the Face of HIV/AIDS

By Tim Leach —

The Phoenix

The Phoenix: I sit here alone. My husband, 40 years of age and in the prime of his life ended his life last year by suicide. I feel like I am just beginning to emerge from some dark fog that has held my heart, soul and mind prisoner. Today, I sit alone, one child away on a date, one at a friend’s house. A few years back I could have never imagined this would be my life, but here I am alone. I have often referred to my life on this journey of grief as being thrown in a fire. […]

Woman Grieves Over Death of a Baby 35 Years Ago

Tammy writes in with a question: My friend who is 52 is grieving over a baby she lost when she was 17. She has 2 other children- adults now. But she is suddenly feeling this loss feeling like she was supposed to have 3 children. Is it possible to grieve this far from the death?

Doris Jeanette, Psy.D., author of?Opening the Heart, responds: It is not only possible, but ?helpful, to?grieve any loss that has not been fully?experienced. ?It does not matter how many years ago the original loss occurred.??As a young?mother, your friend may not have been able to fully grieve the loss. She may have blamed herself and as a result shut off her feelings and emotions. Now she?may be ready?to feel the loss and express her emotions. This is wonderful. You can be a helpful?friend?by?supporting?her in expressing her feelings and?emotions?in?healthy?ways. You can also?encourage?her to seek professional help, if needed. ?She will be a stronger and?healthier?person after she processes the loss of her child. Opening the heart is a life-long process and how it unfolds is how it unfolds. Honor her and her healing process.

Widow’s Friends Disown Her After She Finds New Love

Anne writes: I lost my dad and husband within a week of each other?three years ago, and life has been a battle. My dearest friends (a couple that my husband and I used to do everything with) won’t accept the fact I am seeing another man and have been for nearly two years. The husband told me the other day never to come back and see them. I have given them space and continue to love and support them, Please help. I am just so sad about it. I have tried talking to them but they won’t. I am also their daughter’s godmother and she is heart-broken her parents are doing this. Help me.

What can Kids Hold Onto After a Parent has Died?

By Harriet Hodgson It has been just over a month since my daughter was killed in a car crash.   Every day has been a day of tears, some voiced, some silent.   My 15-year-old twin grandchildren are so overcome with grief they are almost paralyzed.   Both of them are looking for reminders of their mom, things they can hold onto, and my husband and I have given them things. The twins want to hear stories about their mother.   But it is the values their mother instilled in them — values passed from one generation to the next […]

I Lost my Brother and Mother

My mother had a 3 story house that is broken into one studio apartment with a bathroom in the basement, a 2-bedroom duplex on the first and second floor. I lived in the studio apartment, my mother and sister shared the first floor and my brother had the second floor duplex. We all lived there like one happy family. It’s hard to believe that 4 adults could live together and get alone but we did. On June 23rd my sister and I were awaken by a knock on the door. My sister is a chaplain at one of the local […]

Preparing for the Death of a Father

by Neil Chethik – Sigmund Freud called it  the most poignant loss of his life. Sean Connery termed it  a shattering blow.  Norman Mailer likened it to  having a hole in your tooth. It’s a pain that can never be filled.  Each year, more than 1.5 million American boys and men lose their fathers to death. And like the three men mentioned above, most are unprepared. But preparation is possible. In the course of writing a book about father-loss, I asked 70 ordinary men what they did – or wish they’d done – to ready themselves for the […]