Beverly Chantalle McManus

Beverly Chantalle McManus serves as Vice President and on the Board of Directors for the Open to Hope Foundation. She has over 25 years of experience as a marketing executive for professional services organizations, including some of the world’s largest legal, accounting, health care, consulting, architecture and engineering firms. She has edited and co-written numerous published books and professional articles across a range of topics. After the death of her husband Steve in 2003, she began focusing on grief and bereavement support, and for the past 13 years, has been a bereavement facilitator, and core team member of the Stepping Stones on Your Grief Journey Workshops. She is a frequent speaker and writer on the topic of loss and grief and is one of the featured writers for the Open to Hope website, for which she publishes a regular column. She has served on the Board of Directors of the San Francisco Waldorf School and is active in the community, arts, and civic enhancement initiatives. She and her two daughters reside in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Articles:

The Emotions of Spouse Loss

The Emotions of Spouse Loss My entry into widowhood began in 2002 when our family was enjoying a long-awaited summer vacation in Hawaii and my husband Steve noticed he was having trouble swallowing.  It wasn’t just that it was hard to swallow, but it actually hurt.  He promised to get it checked out when we returned home.  But neither of us expected the first two words that came out of the doctor’s mouth when he returned for his lab results:  “It’s cancer.” What?  How could this be?  Just a few weeks earlier Steve had been surfing, snorkeling, hiking all over […]

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Handling the Holidays After the Death of a Spouse

The holidays are often the most difficult time of the year for a grieving spouse. Dr. Heidi Horsley talks with Beverly McManus about how to deal with the holidays following such a tragic loss in this special Open to Hope webinar. McManus serves on the board of directors for the foundation and lost her husband when he was 43 years old. For the past seven years, she’s been a bereavement facilitator. A popular speaker and writer on the topic of hope and loss, McManus is also a marketing executive. She lives in San Francisco with her two daughters. Knowing what […]

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Taking Baby Steps on the Grief Journey

We’re right in the middle of baseball season. One of our family’s favorite pastimes was to attend the Giants games at the old Candlestick Park in San Francisco, where we’d shiver in the bleachers as we cheered on our team. I still picture Steve with his Giants’ cap, Giants’ sweatshirt, and baseball mitt in hand (just in case he was in a position to catch a wild ball that was hit into the stands). Our daughters and I were always more interested in the antics of the other fans, in finding that elusive malt vendor, and in just staying warm […]

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Will I Ever Find Me Again? — New Roles After the Death of a Spouse

In response to “From a Plea for Help,” Julie Z. wrote:  My husband died about 1.5 years ago, I continue to cry daily. He was everything to me. I am so tired of being so alone. I miss him so very much. Why did someone so wonderful need to go? I pray so very much, that the wonderful memories we made together will make me smile, not cry. I miss everything about him. I miss him, the wonderful marriage we shared and I miss, who I was when I was with him. He completed me. Will I ever find me […]

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An Egg Today? Or a Hen Tomorrow? Our Choices in Grief

I’m a big believer in fortune cookies.   In fact, I’ve long thought that if read very loudly — so that everyone else in the restaurant can hear — the fortunes will come true!   I don’t know if there is any way to scientifically prove my theory, but I do like to test it each time we go out for Chinese food.   I loudly read the last fortune cookie I opened; however, it offered more of what I’d consider a proverb than an actual fortune:   “It is better to have a hen tomorrow than an egg today.” […]

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Without a Mooring — For Bereaved, the Waves Keep Crashing

By Beverly Chantalle McManus — Those of us who have survived the death of a spouse receive ongoing reminders that life will never be the same.  Just as we feel we’re finally able to be buoyant again, as we’re coming to grips with this most devastating loss and the profound changes that overtake every aspect of our lives, it often feels like yet another huge wave comes from nowhere, to crash into us, hurling us to the ocean’s rocky floor, leaving our mouths and lungs filled with sand and salt water. Sometimes these waves are of a financial nature — […]

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Nature’s Remedy – Allowing the Universe to Embrace Us in Our Pain and Need

Responding to How Do I Cope After the Death of My Husband?, Annalise wrote:  “When does the pain ease off?? Two months today and getting worse.” Beverly Chantalle McManus, Grief Companion, responds: Annalise, first of all, please accept my deepest compassion for your loss.  The death of a spouse is one of the hardest things anyone will have to go through, and only those who have experienced it can really understand the depth of pain and loss you are experiencing.  We’re glad you reached out, and hope that knowing you’re not alone will help ease the pain and loneliness. I […]

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Writing Thank You Notes After a Funeral

By Beverly Chantalle McManus Over the past six years since Steve’s death, in grief workshops and counseling sessions, I’ve talked with hundreds of people whose loved ones have died. One of the most common hurdles in the grief and loss process is writing thank you notes acknowledging the thoughtful care, the flowers, the cards, the remembrances, from those who surround us during these tough times. I know that for me, despite the immense gratitude I felt in my heart for the thoughtfulness of friends and family, the act of writing the thank you notes was all but impossible. In some […]

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Everything Seems So Unreal — Coping with Unexpected Death

Responding to Ten Things Every New Widow Should Know to Survive, Jean writes:  I just lost my husband on 2/23/09. He passed away at the airport before taking the trip to the East Coast for the new job training. That was his first day of the new job since he was laid off last Christmas. He would have been 40 this month and we have two twin girls. They will be 1 this month as well. I don’t know what to do when I am alone. Everything seems so unreal. His mom blames everything on me. That adds more pain. […]

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“Widow’s Weeds” — Symbols of Mourning and the Profound Effect of Colors on Our Emotions

In the not-so-distant past, when an individual within a family died, there was a prescribed period of mourning, during which expectations of the bereaved family were lightened.   In fact, if the mourners did engage in excessive activities, including entertaining guests or attending social events, it was perceived as being disrespectful to the deceased.   There were also many conventions that symbolically told others that an individual or a family was in mourning, for example, the black wreath on the door, or, during WWII, the gold star in the window.   Clothing also symbolized grief, most notably the Victorian era’s […]

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