David Roberts

David J. Roberts, LMSW, became a parent who experienced the death of a child, when his daughter Jeannine died of cancer on 3/1/03 at the age of 18. He is a retired addiction professional and an adjunct professor in the psychology and psychology child-life departments at Utica University in Utica, New York. Dave is a featured speaker, workshop facilitator and coach for Aspire Place, LLC. Dave has also been a past national workshop facilitator for The Compassionate Friends and a past national workshop facilitator and keynote speaker for The Bereaved Parents of the USA. Dave also co-presented a workshop titled “Helping Faculty After Traumatic Loss” for the Parkland, Florida community in May of 2018,in the aftermath of the mass shootings at Stoneman Douglas High School. Dave was also a keynote speaker at The Tom Coughlin Jay Fund Remembrance Weekend during in June of 2019 in Ponte Vedra, Florida .Dave has also done numerous workshops at the local and regional levels related to transformation from grief and loss. He is the co-author with Reverend Patty Furino of the recently published book "When The Psychology Professor Met The Minister" which is available for purchase on Amazon. For more information about their book,please go to: https://psychologyprofessorandminister.com/ Dave has been a past HuffPost contributor and has also published articles with the Open to Hope Foundation, The Grief Toolbox, Recovering the Self Journal, Mindfulness and Grief, and Thrive Global. He is currently a regular contributor to Medium. One of Dave's articles, My Daughter is Never Far Away, can also be found in Open to Hope: Inspirational Stories of Healing and Loss. Excerpts from Dave's article for The Open to Hope Foundation, called The Broken Places were featured in the Paraclete Press DVD video, Grieving the Sudden Death of a Loved One. He has appeared on numerous radio and internet broadcasts and Open to Hope Television. Dave was also part of a panel in 2016 for the BBC Podcast, World Have Your Say, with other grief experts, discussing the death of Carrie Fisher. Dave’s website: www.bootsyandangel.com is devoted to providing support and resources for individuals experiencing loss.

Articles:

Tragedy Connects Us All

I had the honor of being interviewed by our local newspaper for a special section devoted to the tenth anniversary of the September 11,2001 terrorist attacks. Eight victims had ties to my community. The surviving family members of three of these families shared their journeys for this article. I was interviewed as a “grief expert,” whose name was provided to the newspaper by Utica College. I am employed there as an adjunct professor and have taught several courses including, Death, Dying and Bereavement. The interview was brief, but went well. I stated that communities have learned to mobilize around tragedy […]

Terminal Grief

My life as I knew it ended on May 26, 2002, when my eighteen-year-old daughter Jeannine was diagnosed with alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare, aggressive and incurable form of cancer. Jeannine died on March 1, 2003, at the age of 18, approximately ten months after diagnosis. When she was diagnosed, the experience itself was surreal. In the blink of an eye, I went from the everyday joys of being a parent to a vibrant daughter to the horror of having that same child diagnosed with a terminal illness. My subsequent research revealed that the five-year survival rate for her cancer was […]

Why Ask Questions About Your Grief Journey?

I recently had the honor of being the opening keynote speaker for this year’s national gathering of the Bereaved Parents of the USA. I spoke about the evolution of my grief and observations and lessons learned during the past eight-plus years that have helped me adjust to the reality of life without the physical presence of my daughter Jeannine. One of the things that I addressed was my need to ask “what if,” “could have,” “should have,” and “why” questions throughout my early grief, which was for me about two and one-half years. I say “for me” because everyone’s grief journey […]

Pain May be an Ally in Our Grief Journeys

I think if we all had a choice, we would want to live our lives without emotional pain. Considering that we do not live in a Utopian society, the avoidance of pain is impossible. Pain and loss is and always will be a part of our existence. Many bereaved individuals that I know have been able to thrive in the midst of catastrophic loss because of their ability to use their pain to learn how to become better people and help others. They have also learned to transcend their pain into unconditional love for others who have experienced loss and […]

Animal Energies Help Make Sense of Grief Process

Since my daughter Jeannine’s death over eight years ago, I learned that the only thing I could control was the present. Doing this made it easier to allow the universe to take care of my future. However, I have recently begun to discover the role of the past in enhancing my quality of life in the present and…future. During a trip to Long Island last year, I was introduced to the power of animal medicine. The lessons that animals teach us is beautifully described in the book, Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways of Animals, by Jamie […]

Is it OK to Feel Joy During the Grief Process?

The journey after the death of a loved one is emotionally draining and physically exhausting, particularly in the early stages of grief (which I see as minimally, two years). It is also easy to feel some guilt because of the moments of joy we do experience during early grief. We may question whether it is ok to experience joy because of the thought that we are dishonoring our deceased loved ones. Those moments of joy will present themselves whether we want them to or not. When they do, embrace them for however long they last. You may find that those […]

Does Time Heal?

I discovered this quote from singer/songwriter Jack Johnson: And if they tell you love fades over time, tell them there is no such thing as time. His quote also got me thinking about the passage of time as it relates to our grief journeys. Many in our society believe that there is a set time period for resolving our grief. In six months to a year, it is generally expected that one should be “over” his/her grief and return to life, as he/she knew it. What is also implied is that there are practical solutions to the losses that we experience. […]

Peace in Eight: Friends, Rituals, Time Lessen the Pain of Child-Loss

March 1st marked my daughter Jeannine’s eighth angelversary; on that date, Jeannine became forever eighteen. The last seven years have been characterized by intense grief during the days and months leading up to the date of her death. Since Jeannine died of cancer, I would consistently relive the excruciating pain of the last months and moments of her life. I have gradually learned to manage the pain of my loss more effectively over the years. I also believe that reliving the pain of losing our children is another reminder that our love for them never dies. During the eighth year […]

Sharing Pain is a Gateway to Hope

After my daughter Jeannine died almost eight years ago, I examined and re-examined my existing values, beliefs and priorities. This process was made extremely challenging by the raw pain of my early grief. I am a different person, and in many ways, a better person as a result of my struggle with Jeannine’s death. I have also learned some important lessons about unconditional love, faith, and the enduring power of relationships: The more that we allow the universe to guide us, the more that our redefined purpose becomes clearer. Surrendering to the journey has allowed me to increasingly surrender my […]

Navigating Grief During the Holidays

The pain of grief tends to surface with great intensity during “milestone” events. Birthdays, anniversaries and holidays are typical events that are associated with our grief journeys. The intensity of grief is usually highest for many during the first year that these milestone events are experienced. However, people will experience pain of varying intensity during these milestone events beyond the first year. There is no timetable to resolve grief and in many cases; journeys are lifelong. Experiencing pain at any time during the process is to be expected. Under normal circumstances, preparing for any holiday can be stressful as well […]

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