Harriet Hodgson

Harriet Hodgson has been a freelancer for 43 years, is the author of thousands of articles, and 47 books, including 10 grief resources. She is a member of the Association of Health Care Journalists, Alliance of Independent Authors, Minnesota Coalition for Grief Education and Support, and Grief Coalition of Southeastern Minnesota. She is well acquainted with grief. In 2007 four family members died—her daughter (mother of her twin grandchildren), father-in-law, brother (and only sibling) and the twins’ father. Multiple losses shifted the focus of Hodgson’s work from general health to grief resolution and healing. She has appeared on more than 185 radio talk shows, including CBS Radio, and dozens of television stations, including CNN. In addition to writing for Open to Hope, Hodgson is a contributing writer for The Grief Toolbox website and The Caregiver Space website. A popular speaker, she has given presentations at The Compassionate Friends national conference, Bereaved Parents of the USA national conference, and Zoom grief conferences. Her work is cited in Who’s Who of American Women, World Who’s Who of Women, Contemporary Authors, and other directories. For more information about this busy grandmother, great grandmother, author, and speaker please visit I’m no longer Assistant Editor, I’m the author of 47 books, and my website is www.harriethodgson.net.

Articles:

When Someone Asks: ‘How Are You?’

After I’d lost several family members in a short time, the question “How are you?” always threw me off-balance. How did the person think I was after so much tragedy? Usually when someone asks this question, they expect one reply: “Fine.” I used this answer at first to end painful conversations. But I wasn’t fine, knew it, and came up with different answers to this common question. Months passed, and my next answer to the question was, “Okay.” I liked the answer because it was common language and fit many situations. “Getting along” was my third answer, the one I […]

Avoiding Burnout and Compassion Fatigue

Burnout and Compassion Fatigue My husband John’s illness progressed, and self-care became harder. I felt like I was playing a bad game of catch-up. No matter how hard I tried, I never caught up with caregiving tasks, and there were always unchecked items on my to-do list. I wondered if I’d make it through the day. When I was alone and honest with myself, I worried about burnout. Burnout can take years to develop. The caregiver’s feelings progress from enthusiasm (when they are first hired), to stagnation (too much work, too little time), to frustration (not being able to do […]

In Search of Healthy Grieving

In Search of Healthy Grieving I wanted to experience “healthy grieving.” These words often appear in grief articles and books. Did healthy grieving mean sobbing like crazy, being confused, or having grief brain? None of those sounded healthy to me. I went in search of healthy grieving. As I walked forward on the healing path, I understood the meaning of these words. Healthy grieving required thinking of my deceased loved ones differently and finding new places for them in my life. Some grief experts said I had to develop a new relationship with the deceased. This idea puzzled me. I […]

The Comfort of Linking Objects

The Comfort of Linking Objects Giving away linking objects is part of my story. Linking objects are things that belong to the deceased person, such as a watch, a bread knife, woodworking tools, and more. As soon as he died, I slipped John’s wedding ring on my finger. Wearing the ring made me feel like John was still with me. I touched the ring and remembered the years we shared. Wearing John’s ring comforts me every day. Linking objects could comfort other family members. I gave John’s black leather medical bag with gold letters on the side that read, “C. […]

Holding On, Letting Go After Husband’s Death

What I Let Go Of After my husband died, I had to decide what to let go of and what to hold onto. I let go of John’s companionship. John and I enjoyed each other, were honest with each other, and most importantly, listened to each other. After conversing with him for years about a wide range of topics—everything from saving whales, to changes in political parties, to child Advance Review Copy Uncorrected Proof 144 Winning development—I didn’t have anyone to talk to. The apartment was silent. I remembered past conversations and yearned to have new conversations with him. I let […]

Making Good Things from Grief

Making Good Things from Grief When my husband John died, I didn’t know how to go on living. Rather than existing, I wanted to flourish and savor life. That meant setting new goals, working for them, and reaching them. I wanted my living loved ones, and John, to be proud of me. Creating a new life took gumption, and I had it. Grief could have a better outcome if I let it. I could learn from grief and use my experience to help others. Judy Tatelbaum, author of The Courage to Grieve, thinks grieving people need to make good from […]

Coping with the Down Days

Coping With the Down Days The year after my husband John died, my grief brain was at its peak. I wanted to give my brain a rest, but I couldn’t do that. There were dozens of tasks on my to-do list, and progress ranged from slow to nil. Recovering from grief brain was a slow process that came in spurts. I never slipped into classical depression, thank goodness. My brain struggled to adapt to the loss of my beloved John and the onset of more grief. I often felt “down” and wondered if I really was getting depressed. Clinical depression […]

Giving Myself Away: The Meaning of Thanksgiving

Giving Myself Away Thanksgiving is one of America’s favorite holidays. The dinner menu varies from culture to culture, and family to family, yet the idea of giving thanks crosses all boundaries. Until I changed, November was a difficult month, a testing month, and I wasn’t sure I’d pass the test. Two family members died in November. My elder daughter was born on Thanksgiving. While I was in labor, I smelled roasting turkey and herb-flavored stuffing and fragrant gravy. I wanted Thanksgiving dinner and couldn’t have it. How frustrating. Years passed, and Thanksgiving became a dual celebration, giving thanks and my […]

Grief Doodling Can Help You Heal

What is Grief Doodling? “Is it straight?” asked the activities director. She was hanging 21 pictures I contributed to a retirement community art exhibit. The pictures are doodle art, a combination of doodling, comics, and folk art. I turned to this art form when I was caring for my husband, John. My husband was dying. John knew it and I knew it. We rarely talked about his impending death because we’d talked about almost everything during 63 years of marriage. I’m a freelance writer and John was my biggest fan; I wanted to keep my career going for John and […]

Get a Grief Buddy

Get a Grief Buddy Many grief books and articles say it’s important to tell your story. Indeed, telling your story is a forward step on the healing path. And one way to improve the odds of that happening: Get a grief buddy. Grieving people need to tell our stories so we can come to terms with reality. When we can tell our stories without sobbing, we are making progress. What are the benefits of telling our stories? According to the Grief Recovery Center website, telling our stories helps us to become familiar with the stages of grief, find support, and […]

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