Sandy Fox

Sandy Fox has won four finalist awards for her recent book "Creating a New Normal...After the Death of a Child" with over 80 coping articles and a huge resource section. One award is from USA Book News in the Health/Death and Dying Category for 2010. The second award is from ForeWord Reviews in the Health Category for 2010. The third is from Royal Dragonfly Book Awards. The most recent finalist award is for the self-help category of the 2011 Indie Book Awards. She is also the author of another grief book, "I Have No Intention of Saying Good-bye." “I Have No Intention of Saying Good-bye” tells the stories of 25 sets of parents and how they moved on with their lives after the death of their child, offering hope and survival techniques. Sandy has headed two national bereavement conferences for childless parents and spoken for many years at Compassionate Friends National conferences, POMC and across the U.S. to a variety of bereavement groups. She also writes articles for the Open to Hope site, EZ articles, and Journey through grief newsletter in addition to her own weekly blog: www.survivinggrief.blogspot.com. Sandy can be contacted at sfoxaz@hotmail.com to set up any speaking engagements or to ask any questions related to surviving the death of a child. Sandy was a guest on the radio show “Healing the Grieving Heart“ discussing: “I have no intention of Saying Good-Bye: Coping Techniques for the Now Childless.” To hear Sandy being interviewed on this show by Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley, click on the following link: www.voiceamericapd.com/health/010157/horsley010407.mp3

Articles:

Elizabeth Edwards Helped Others Who Had Suffered Child-Loss

I had a personal experience with Elizabeth Edwards that I will never forget. She was the keynote speaker at the 2007 Compassionate Friends conference in Oklahoma City, which I attended. I bought her book “Saving Graces,” took it with me to the conference and wanted her to sign it. At the time, she was doing chemo treatments for her breast cancer, and I marveled at her strength and courage to continue with all her speaking engagements and interviews (that night after the conference she flew to Los Angeles to appear on Larry King.) After she gave an eloquent speech to […]

Share Your Memories With Family of the Deceased

Sharing memories after the death of a child can help the grieving family more than you’ll ever know. If you were close to a child who has died, there are many things you can do to help the parents and other family members. But the absolute best is to share precious moments you had with the child “I was so happy to hear my son’s name brought up at the Senior Honors Convocation as being on the football team that year as quarterback and scoring so many touchdowns,” a mother told me. “I had not known about some of the […]

Googling Your Child’s Name

A few days ago, I started rummaging through the Internet and decided to put in my deceased daughter’s full name when unmarried and see what came up. I was astonished to find two Google pages of information on her and links to me, my book, Open to Hope and the fund established in her name. She died 16 years ago, and I now have proof that she still lives on for others to read about. The most interesting note I saw dealt with her high school alma mater. Back in 2004, ten years after her death, two of her friends […]

Telling the Positive Story of Your Deceased Child’s Life

I have a suggestion for all bereaved parents to call up positive memories of your child. First you need to find a quiet place in your home with no distractions, sit in a comfortable chair and with pen and paper or on your computer, jot down a few phrases of every good memory you can think of related to your child. Make the memory phrases just long enough so it is clear in your mind. You may end up with 25, 50, or even over 100. They can be in any order of age. You can rearrange later. Make sure […]

Finding a Cause Helps Those Who are Grieving

Losing a child will be the most difficult loss in your life, but you can and will get through it. One of the most productive ideas for your well-being after the death is choosing to find a cause, a reason to move on with your life. Parents may become active in different organizations. These include: Compassionate Friends, Bereaved Parents USA or Alive Alone for childless parents. Not only do they join these organizations to help themselves, but in time, they start helping others who are just beginning the journey. Others who want to become even more involved get on the boards and help […]

How to Maintain a Marriage After Child-Loss

Many couples who have experienced the death of their child may also experience a crisis in their marriage as a result. This untimely event can be an opportunity for growth bringing the two people closer together. The belief that a bereaved couple is doomed to divorce is blown way out of proportion. In fact, a Compassionate Friends survey has indicated that only 4 percent of couples who divorce do so because of the child’s death, that something else was wrong in the relationship before the child died. If the couple has always had a good marriage, typically that marriage will […]

How Couples Grieve Differently After a Child-Loss

A friend of mine told me recently that she is moving on with her life after her only son died 2 1/2 years ago. Her voice sounded upbeat. Her spirits were soaring. Only good things are happening now, and she is enjoying what she has to look forward to: grandchildren growing up, graduating, marrying, a good relationship with her daughter-in-law who just remarried. “Now,” she says, “I want to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life.” When this first happened, I could not convince her she would survive the loss. She told me that […]

Don’t Say You’re ‘Fine’ When You’re Not

When we are on a grief journey and someone asks us, “How are you feeling?” the tendency is to say, “I’m fine.” But we’re not fine, and one of my friends pointed that out to me a few months after my daughter died. She said in a rather exasperated voice, “You’re not fine and don’t say you are!” I was briefly taken aback and then realized she was right. Why say you’re “fine” when you’re not? From that point on, I told the truth. My answer became, “I’m doing the best I can. Each day is a challenge and I […]

Helping Bereaved Parents Cope

by Sandy Fox There are many things that can be done to help bereaved parents cope. You may have a friend who is just starting out on his or her grief journey, and it is hard enough for them to just get out of bed in the morning. They don’t need any platitudes from you (see last blog). They need comfort; they need you to see that they make it through the day. With your help, they will. Here are some of the things you can do for them. **Send a sympathy card or note to the parents, saying how […]

Saying Inappropriate Things to Bereaved Parents

When on your grief journey, you may hear people say things to you that are not appropriate at all. Perhaps that person was only trying to comfort you or has never lost a child and has no idea what you are feeling or going through. Certain phrases and sentences to others may seem like a way to show they care and are thinking about you, but all it really does is make you mad. Some of those phrases and my reactions (in italic type) to myself or others include: “Your child is in a better place.” No, she’s not. She […]

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