I knew I had turned the corner on grief the moment I lost it all; the moment I let my hopes, my dreams, my world, fall apart.

For six months, I refused to accept that my infant twin daughter was gone.  I couldn’t see how life would be possible without my daughter.  I had always envisioned a grand way of living and was convinced that living an extraordinary life was no longer an option for me after my daughter’s death.  I felt I deserved something better, something more than a life of grief.  So, as a woman of faith, I chose to believe that if I prayed hard enough, God might make it such that I would wake up one morning and realize my daughter’s death had all been just a really bad dream.

For six months, I chose to fight my grief.  I felt that if I truly accepted my daughter’s death, grief would claim victory over my life, and that was a life to which I did not want to succumb.

But one day it all became too much.  I was exhausted from battle.  I couldn’t find a way for my life to be great again, so I gave up my way — my wants, my hopes, my desires — and turned to the One who promises to make my life great in spite of my circumstances.

It happened in an instant.  I woke up one morning, too emotionally exhausted to look in the portable crib beside my bed to see if my twin daughter had returned.  Instead, I walked to the opposite side of the house and fell to my knees in defeat.  I surrendered all I had to the Creator.

Though accepting that my daughter was really gone — that her death was in fact meant for my life — was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It was also the moment I knew grief would not take victory over my life after all.  Faith offers a life of hope.  Since placing my faith in the plans God has for my life, I been able to claim true victory over grief!

Jenny Hander is author of A Place of Peace. For more information visit: http://www.aplaceofpeace.net/

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Jenny Hander

Jenny Hander

In 2005, Jenny Hander suffered the greatest loss a mother can endure—the loss of her child. Yet as a woman of faith, Jenny overcame her immense despair to reclaim the extraordinary life she has always believed in living. Jenny now devotes herself to encouraging others to live the extraordinary life that is available to us all—no matter what circumstances life may bring. She is the author of A Place of Peace and holds a Bachelor of Science degree in chemical engineering from Texas A&M University. Jenny is a proud wife and a full-time mother of three. Jenny appeared on the radio show “Healing the Grieving Heart” with Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley to discuss “Finding Meaning After the Loss of a Twin Child.” To hear Jenny being interviewed on this show, go to the following link: https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/31623/finding-meaning-after-the-loss-of-a-twin-child

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