Stacey Redmond joins the Open to Hope show to share her story about losing her son, Tim. He was killed during a stabbing at the Giants ballpark in San Francisco. Dr. Gloria Horsley and Alan Pedersen from The Compassionate Friends also welcome Lew Cox to the show, an advocate from Tacoma, Washington, who lost his daughter, Carmen and is now an expert in victim advocacy. Redmond was quickly engulfed in the stigma of losing a loved one to murder—a situation that makes many people uncomfortable, and ultimately results in the shunning of those who are grieving.

Redmond’s son was killed eight years ago. He was attending a game with friends, had just turned 21, and she remembers him as a “kid with a big heart.” The entire family were baseball fans, especially of the Giants. Dr. Horsley attended some of the trial for Tim’s murder. His murderer was arrested two weeks after the incident, and it took four years for the trial to begin. “He was in jail the entire four years, but changed attorneys many times,” Redmond says.

Difficult Losses

Redmond now knows how important it is to balance getting justice with working on your own grief. Your attorney can and should be a great source of support. However, she was told many times, “After the trial ends, you can really start grieving,” but it must happen simultaneously. Cox’s daughter was also murdered, and in the aftermath he discovered that they weren’t getting any benefits from many so-called support systems. “They really didn’t exist,” he says, and he was desperate to talk to someone who knew what he was going through.

He sought out a leadership role in crime victim services so nobody would have to go through what his family did.

Alan Pedersen

Alan Pedersen has been performing for more than 25 years. An accomplished singer and award winning songwriter, he spent several years writing and recording music in Nashville, Tennessee. Alan has had several songs recorded by other artists. His writing has not been limited to music, he has written commercials, radio news copy, and collaborations for television shows and other comedy projects. His performing credits are numerous as well. Alan has worked as an actor, stand-up comedian, keynote speaker/emcee, and in radio as a network news and sports reporter for Westwood One Communications. Currently living in Englewood, Colorado, Alan is the father of four boys and an angel. In August of 2001 Alan’s life took a tragic turn, his 18-year-old and only daughter Ashley was killed in an automobile accident. This tragedy would take his life in a direction he never imagined. Struggling for months to find answers and trying to cope with tremendous pain and anger, he entered a grief program in Denver, Colorado and began attending monthly meetings of a support organization (The Compassionate Friends.) Alan credits these organizations with saving his life and inspiring him to honor his daughter’s life by helping others. In July of 2003, Alan released a CD of songs he had written about his walk through the valley of grief, titled Ashley’s Songbook. In 2006, he released a follow up CD titled “A Little Farther Down The Road.” Alan now helps others by sharing his story of faith and hope. His message is simple; grief and loss offer the opportunity for ordinary people to accomplish extraordinary things. He believes that healing begins when we once again give of ourselves by helping others. Alan speaks and plays his music for churches and grief organizations around the country. In 2008 Alan will release his third CD of original music about the journey bereaved families must walk. Alan has performed at National Conferences for The Compassionate Friends, Bereaved Parents of the USA, and the World Gathering on Bereavement. Alan will travel and speak 120 times in 2008 for local chapters of TCF, BP-USA, and other grief organizations dedicated to helping families grieving the loss of a child. In February of 2008 Alan released his third CD “More Songs From the Journey” which features “Celebrate the Children” which is the anthem of his concerts and events this year. To learn more about Alan and to get his tour schedule, go to: Alan appeared on the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart to discuss “Learning to Live Again After Loss.” To hear his interview with Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley, click on the following link: Alan appeared a second time on the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart to discuss, “The Holidays, Helpful or Hurtful?” to hear his interview with Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley, click on the following link:

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