Stacey Redmond joins the Open to Hope show to share her story about losing her son, Tim. He was killed during a stabbing at the Giants ballpark in San Francisco. Dr. Gloria Horsley and Alan Pedersen from The Compassionate Friends also welcome Lew Cox to the show, an advocate from Tacoma, Washington, who lost his daughter, Carmen and is now an expert in victim advocacy. Redmond was quickly engulfed in the stigma of losing a loved one to murder—a situation that makes many people uncomfortable, and ultimately results in the shunning of those who are grieving.
Redmond’s son was killed eight years ago. He was attending a game with friends, had just turned 21, and she remembers him as a “kid with a big heart.” The entire family were baseball fans, especially of the Giants. Dr. Horsley attended some of the trial for Tim’s murder. His murderer was arrested two weeks after the incident, and it took four years for the trial to begin. “He was in jail the entire four years, but changed attorneys many times,” Redmond says.
Redmond now knows how important it is to balance getting justice with working on your own grief. Your attorney can and should be a great source of support. However, she was told many times, “After the trial ends, you can really start grieving,” but it must happen simultaneously. Cox’s daughter was also murdered, and in the aftermath he discovered that they weren’t getting any benefits from many so-called support systems. “They really didn’t exist,” he says, and he was desperate to talk to someone who knew what he was going through.
He sought out a leadership role in crime victim services so nobody would have to go through what his family did.