It’s the first days after my child’s death. I write her a letter.
Dear Jasmine,
I’m in agony and spend ages just sitting on the sofa. It’s hard to describe how I feel.
I’ve not energy for anything. Muppet needs a walk each day but that’s about it. I can’t get warm, even with a hot water bottle on my back. Anna has been over. You met her on a few occasions. She hands me a card and a small gift. I make tea for us. I want to talk about you, so tell her a little about your funeral. Then we cry together.
I don’t see her again that. It takes me a little while to put two and two together. Then I remember that her greatest fear is that something awful might befall her own daughter. And here am I showing her that such a dreadful thing can, and sometimes does, happen.
A couple of neighbors bring me cards, and since I’m relatively new to the area, I am surprised and grateful. The lady opposite also calls by and tell me to knock on her door if ever I am in need of company and cup of tea. I appreciate that.
Read more about the first days after my child’s death:

Patsy Freeman

Patsy’s Bio Born in Dublin, Ireland, Patsy now lives in England. Initially, trained as a State Registered Nurse, she then went on to train in preventive health work. This involved visiting families in their own homes, offering health guidance where appropriate. In her early forties, Patsy’s professional life changed direction when she gained a degree in psychology. She followed this with a certificate in counselling (including NLP and hypnotherapy). She was offered a counsellor post in a busy GP practice. After several years, she decided it was time to open her own private practice. Following the death of her father in 2004, Patsy took a year out to travel. Having always held a deep respect for the ways and beliefs of indigenous people, she enjoyed visits with the Maoris in New Zealand. One of the highlights of visiting Ecuador, South America, was being introduced to the Shuar tribe. The chief then invited Patsy to spend two weeks living with them in the Amazon jungle. The Shuar taught her a lot, including the healing remedies of many of the plants, e.g. the bush with red berries used by women as a contraception. She saw sap taken from the bark of a particular tree, used to prevent and treat cancer. Back in the UK Patsy opened her own private practice. In 2012, Patsy learned that her younger daughter, Jasmine, had breast cancer. She died 15 months later. Unprepared for the grief that followed, Patsy instinctively reached for a note book and began writing letters to her daughter. Four months after her death, Patsy began receiving signs from Jasmine - two of her paintings fell off the wall, sometimes she smelled her or heard her voice, a table lamp began flickering. She also received telepathic messages, and at one point heard Jasmine say - ‘You must write a book, Mum, about your experiences. It will help a lot of people’ And so a book was birthed. Patsy gives talks and enjoys being interviewed on the subject of grief. She also offers writing workshops for the bereaved. Her book ‘In Search of You – letters to a daughter’ is available from her website, and also Amazon. Contact Patsy by email at

More Articles Written by Patsy