By Mitch Carmody —
Our son Kelly James was diagnosed with a brain tumor in February of 1986, and our world changed forever. We did everything we could do medically, holistically and spiritually to save our son. Although we experienced a healing, we learned a healing is not always a cure. He died 12-1-1987, two months later I wrote this poem to my wife on Valentine’s day.
February 14th, 1988
For Barbara
My darling I am not sure what to say
nor even what to do
to make this very special day
unique and true to you.
We have gone through so many things
from last year at this time
traveled our country over
from frigid to tropical clime.
Experiencing great joy and loss
alternating and together
clinging desperately to our faith
bound to a cancerous tether.
No one can truly be ready
to do what we had to do
be prepared to battle
and yet to each other remain so true.
True to our own identity
and true to us as a whole
putting all our strength together
to fight a common goal.
Cancer had declared war on us
we dared to fight back
examining life’s priorities
and picking up the slack.
A battle plan was made
our enemy defined
we geared up with ammunition
a declaration of war was signed.
Sacrifices had to be made
we were motivated to win
no obstacles were ever too large
no ice ever too thin.
We forged weapons of pure energy
that were smelted in our hearts
with guidance from our God
and the knowledge that He imparts.
He informed us where to go
told us what to do
with us every step of the way
in places old and new.
We had many victories
but also suffered loss
their outcomes as flippant
as a coin in mid-air toss.
Though many battles were won
we lost the two-year war
as cancer beat the victim
and claimed the final score.
The scars of war are very deep
and takes time to heal
as any survivor of any war
can tell you how we feel.
Everything has to be rebuilt
future plans made anew
many things to overcome
before our healing is through.
Post-war years can be very hard
with flashbacks of hurt and pain
the causalities find a better life
it’s hard work for those who remain.
But hard work we are used to
as together we can fight
the hassles of the present
to make the future bright.
We have always had each other
though differences there may be
communications can break down
setting trouble free.
I know that we can handle it
our love is very strong
our souls are bonded together
to last a lifetime long.
That lifetime is here and now
I have never loved you more
and someday as a family
on eagle’s wings we’ll soar.
Until that glorious day
when we reunite with our son
we’ll live each day the best we can
praising God when the day is done.
I Love you,
Mitch
Tags: grief, hope
